N. Walters - Stroke of Sapphire

It was well past eight in the morning when her eyelids fluttered open. She seemed disoriented and winced when she rolled over. Jake felt like kicking his own ass. He was too much beast for this innocent beauty.

“How do you feel?” He kept his voice level, letting no emotion show. What he really wanted to do was fall on his knees and beg her forgiveness, promising her he’d change. But he knew he couldn’t change who or what he was. He was forty years old and knew himself too well to lie.

“Jake?” She tried to push herself up, but didn’t quite make it. She licked her lips. “That was…intense.”

Jake nodded. “It was too much. I know and I’m sorry for that.” He pushed out of the chair and went to the end of the bed, looking down at her body huddled beneath the covers, wishing he could see her naked one more time. “It’s best for us both if we don’t see one another again.” Each word was ripped from his soul, leaving him bare and bleeding inside.

“What?” She blinked up at him and frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m too much for you, demand too much in the bedroom.” He raked his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. “I know you’re sore from last night, but even now I want to roll you onto your stomach and fuck you. What the hell does that say about me? I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have, so it’s better if I just leave.” He turned and walked to the door, reaching it far too quickly. Each step away from her was agony.

“Jake.” She called his name and he glanced over his shoulder. “I don’t understand. Stay and talk with me.” A tear ran down her cheek, piercing his gut like a knife.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He hurried away. For the first time in his life, he was too much of a coward to stay. He grabbed his coat from the closet and opened the front door. It closed with a finality that almost brought him to his knees.

The only thing that sustained him was knowing he was doing what was right for Sapphire.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Jake shook off the dark memories that threatened to consume him. He’d replayed that night over and over in his head, wondering what he might have done different. Could he have stayed and tempered his sexual demands, been more careful? Could he have changed enough to make a relationship between them work? There was no way of knowing and it was too late. He’d panicked at the thought of hurting her, physically and emotionally, and had severed all ties with her. Sapphire had moved on with her life and quickly.

For the first week after he’d left her, she’d tried to reach him, calling every night, but he hadn’t answered, instead letting her calls go to his voicemail where he listened to them over and over, torturing himself with the sound of her voice. It had taken every ounce of strength he’d had to turn away when her name flashed on his phone.

Thankfully, his brother didn’t know about what had happened between them and Sapphire must not have told her sister either. If Topaz knew what had happened, she’d tell John and his twin would kick his sorry ass for what he’d done.

The day after she’d stopped calling, she’d gone on her first date. Obviously, he’d done the right thing by walking away from her, even if it didn’t feel that way.

Jake picked up his cup and downed the last of his coffee. It was cold and bitter now, much like him. He’d taken on the task of watching over her, a sort of penance for what he’d taken and how he’d hurt her.

Sapphire wondered what in the name of God she’d been thinking to accept a date with Ivan Gregor. She’d met him through a mutual friend, more of an acquaintance really, and he’d seemed like a nice enough guy, if slightly self-centered. All he’d talked about the entire evening were his real estate deals, how much money he made and his new Manhattan apartment.

What in hell was she doing? She’d gone out on a multitude of dates over the past few weeks, all of them with seemingly perfectly nice men, but there wasn’t an ounce of spark with any of them.

None of them was Jake.

Tears pricked her eyes and she blinked several times to push them back. No way was she going to cry over Jake Knight. She’d shed far too many tears the week after he’d made love to her and left her. Thankfully, Topaz had been too wrapped up in work and her new relationship with John to notice. Sapphire had retreated to her jewelry studio where she’d spent more time curled up on her chaise lounge than actually designing or creating.

She missed him. There was a hole in her heart where Jake had resided. Since the first moment she’d seen him, she’d wanted him. He was tall with extremely broad shoulders, huge biceps and rugged good looks. And he filled out a pair of jeans in a way that should be illegal. His blond hair brushed the top of his shoulders and his icy-blue eyes didn’t miss a thing.

Funny how his twin brother didn’t do a thing for her, but put Jake in a room with her and all her senses flared to life and her skin practically tingled with excitement. He was self-contained and quiet, a thoughtful man, a man with secrets. She’d sensed that much about him over the months he’d been her bodyguard.

He’d actually guarded her twice and she’d had a hard time getting over him the first time he’d left and they hadn’t even kissed. This time they’d had mind-blowing, rock-her-world sex and Sapphire knew she’d never be the same again.

She could still picture him standing near the edge of her bed staring down at her, telling her he was leaving because he was too much for her in the bedroom, his sexual needs too intense. Translation, she wasn’t enough. It had devastated her.

“Sapphire, more wine?” Ivan was looking at her, a slightly annoyed expression on his face. Obviously, he knew she hadn’t been paying attention. Had he said something that required an answer? Other than the question about the wine, that is. She didn’t think so, but she couldn’t be one hundred percent sure.

She shook her head and forced herself to concentrate on the here and now. She ruthlessly shoved Jake Knight from her thoughts and smiled at Ivan. “No thank you, I’ve had enough.”

“Just a bit more.” He ignored her request and topped up her glass. She frowned at him. As the night had gone on, she noticed more and more his tendency to be overbearing and ignore what she said or what she wanted. This would be her first and last date with him.

The waiter strolled up to their table. “Can I get you anything else? Desert, coffee or tea?”

Sapphire opened her mouth to ask for coffee, but Ivan beat her to the punch. “No, nothing else. Just bring the bill.”

The waiter inclined his head. “Right away, sir.”

That was another thing she’d noticed. Ivan was abrupt with the waitstaff, bordering on rude. She really should have stayed home and curled up on her sofa with a good movie and a bowl of popcorn. Live and learn.

The waiter returned with the bill and she glanced away, letting her gaze travel around the upscale restaurant as her thoughts returned to the mess that was her life.

Her experiment over the past few weeks was a total bust. After Jake had shredded her feminine confidence with his abrupt departure, she’d taken a good long look at her life and decided she was way too boring.

She’d decided a change was in order and had moved into her own apartment. It only made sense since Topaz was moving into John’s place until their wedding. The happy couple was still trying to decide if they were going to get a new place or just continue living in John’s. The three sisters owned the apartment they’d shared together and had decided to sell it and split the profit, sending their sister Emerald’s share to her in her new home in Maine. The large, well-situated apartment sold almost immediately and she’d used the money to put a down payment on her own place. She’d also gone on a mini shopping spree, purchasing new clothes and shoes, and started dating.