N. Walters: Past Promises

The clean scent of his soap mixed with the spices from dinner made her mouth water. She swallowed hard. She had to get control of this situation. Levi was acting out of concern. While she was grateful to have him as a friend, she didn’t exactly approve of his methods.

Placing one hand against his chest, she pushed. Levi stepped back, but she was under no misconception that she’d actually be able to move him if he didn’t want to go. The heat from his body soaked into her palm, even through the layer of his T-shirt.

“Thank you for your concern,” she began as she dropped her hand back to her side. Her fingers curled inward of their own accord, holding the heat from his body a little longer. “But you shouldn’t have read the letter. It’s private.”

“It hurt you.” The way he said the words told her he considered that justification enough.

Her stomach began to burn as humiliation washed over her. It was bad enough that she knew her family didn’t think much of her, but it was another thing altogether for Levi to find out. All her life her family had been disappointed in her, labeling her a failure.

She squared her shoulders and ignored the tears welling in her eyes, blinking them back. She would not shed one more tear over her family. There was nothing wrong with her. It was a mantra she’d repeated over and over the past few years. As far as she was concerned, now that her grandmother was gone, she had no family.

“Yes, well life hurts sometimes.” She tried to make her voice strong and brisk, but it came out sounding slightly pitiful.

“Yes it does.” Levi brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. Linda closed her eyes for a brief second, soaking in the care and concern behind the gesture. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t do something about it,” he continued.

Linda sighed as he let his hand drift from her face. “I am doing something. I’m ignoring them.” She leaned back against the door, exhaustion creeping in once again. “I’ve gotten very good at that,” she added wryly.

Levi’s frown deepened. “I don’t understand what their problem is in the first place. You’re beautiful and smart and successful. What more could they ask for?”

Heat crept up her cheeks as she stared in wonder at Levi. He truly believed what he said. The warmth left her face and spread out to other areas of her body. She almost groaned as her nipples tightened and liquid slipped from her core to dampen her panties.

She swallowed a groan. She had to get out of here before she did something stupid like jump Levi’s bones. It had to be the combination of emotions and exhaustion making her feel this way. The two of them were friends. In the months they’d been working together, he’d never shown any sign he’d felt anything for her beyond friendship. Plus, he was just passing through, not settling here for good.

Getting involved with Levi wasn’t a good idea. She’d only had one serious relationship and that had ended in disaster. She wasn’t the type of woman to jump into bed with a man, not without some sort of commitment.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “It’s an old fight. One we’ve been having my entire life. They want me to be something that I’m not and I’m through trying to fit in to please them. They can’t accept that. Hence the letter.” And the occasional phone call from her mother, but she wasn’t going to mention that.

“It’s still not right.” His voice was pitched low and intimate. The room was dark but for the flickering candlelight and the small light over the stove in the kitchen.

“It is what it is.” She turned it back on him. “What about you? What’s your relationship like with your parents?”

Levi became very still. The air around him changed. Tension pervaded the room. This was obviously a sticky subject for him too. Just when she thought he wasn’t going to tell her anything, he spoke, “My mother died of a drug overdose when I was sixteen. I have no idea who my old man is. I don’t think she knew. Given my mother’s taste in men, he’s probably in prison, if not dead.” Levi’s face was grim as he continued, “I didn’t exactly have a loving family.”

She hurt for him. He was the strongest person she knew. According to Amanda, Levi was loyal and kind. He’d come to help Jonah without asking any questions and had helped save Amanda’s life. Character. That’s what Levi had—strength of character. Obviously he’d risen above his upbringing and made himself into the man he was today.

But like her, he carried scars from the past.

Without thought, she reached out and placed her palm against his jaw. The slight stubble was rough against her skin. “I’m sorry.”

His jaw tightened and a muscle beneath his right eye began to twitch. “Don’t be. It was a long time ago.”

“Doesn’t make it hurt any less.” She knew that for a fact.

“I don’t need pity.” His voice was harsh, but he didn’t move away from her. In fact, he shifted closer.

“No,” she agreed. “You don’t need pity. You’ve made something out of your life. Something you can be proud of.”

“You don’t know that.”

She started to move her hand away, but he captured it with his much larger one and pressed her fingers back to his face.

“I do know that. I know you served your country with honor and distinction. I know you’re a loyal friend. I know you’re a good man,” she continued. “Working alongside you these past months, I’d like to think I’ve come to know you rather well.”

“You don’t know me at all.” She heard the faintest edge of hope beneath the anger and it made her heart ache. They both carried such pain inside them.

“I may not know everything about you, but I know you here.” She released her death grip on the letter and let the paper fall to the floor. It didn’t matter any more. The only thing that mattered was the man before her. She placed her free hand over his heart, feeling the heavy thud. “You’re a good man, Levi.”

Levi swore as he stepped forward, herding her toward the door until her back hit it. “I’m not a good man,” he gritted out. “If I was so good, I wouldn’t want to strip off your clothes and fuck you against this door.”

Her body went hot, then cold, then hot again. Had he said what she thought he had? He wanted her. Her mind could barely wrap around the concept. All these months, he’d kept his distance, never giving her any indication that he was attracted to her.

“If I was as good and honorable as you think, I’d open the door and let you go.” He crowded closer, pressing his lower body against hers.

His erection pressed against her belly, hard and thick. Linda sucked back a moan of pleasure as her sex clenched hard in anticipation. Cream slipped from inside her, coating her labia with moisture.

“Tell me to let you go.” His voice was rough and thick with arousal. His breathing, ragged.

Linda couldn’t speak. Need flowed through her like wildfire, setting her blood aflame. She forgot all the reasons why she shouldn’t get involved with Levi. There was no place for reason in the heat of madness.

She had to get closer. Her clit throbbed in agreement as she hooked her leg over his hip and arched her pelvis, grinding her swollen sex against the front of his jeans. The friction was so marvelous she did it again.

“Fuck.” Levi gripped her hips, hauling her closer.

A moan of pure pleasure escaped her as he pressed against her. “So good,” she groaned.

“If we’re going to stop, it has to be now. I’m not sure how much longer my control will hold out.” Levi’s words came out in a rush and were followed by a low groan as their hips met again and again.

A sense of power flowed through her. That she could bring a man like this to the brink of losing control was a heady rush. But it was quickly followed by tenderness and need. He needed her. She needed him. It was as simple as that.