J. Cooper - The Other Side of Love

“I will always know, Noah. Even if you keep it to yourself. I will always know when something is wrong. And I will always do whatever I can to make that situation right.”

“You’re like a magician” I yawned and snuggled under the duvet. “My very own magician brother.”

“Sleep tight, Noah,” he whispered. “I’ll never let the bed bugs bite you.”

“Did you have any foster brothers and sisters that you were close to?” I sat on Robin’s cream couch as she poured two glasses of a bottle of Riesling for us. This was the second night I was spending at Robin’s and I felt sad that it was likely the last night that either of us would have together.

“I had three sisters and three brothers.” She handed me a glass and smiled. “However, they are all a lot older than me, so I’m not really close with any of them.”

“It must have been hard growing up in foster care.” I gave her a smile as she sat next to me. “Not really knowing where you came from and all that.”

“It’s hard.” She nodded at me. “Some days, I just want to know what they looked like. What they did, why they gave me up. But then some days, I’m glad I don’t know, because what if it was bad? I don’t want to carry that burden with me.”

“That makes sense,” I agreed. “I was really worried about how Zane would feel about his birthmother’s death. I was scared he would carry that burden and guilt forever.”

“You guys are really close, aren’t you?” She took a sip of wine and sat back. “It must be nice to have someone you’re that close to.”

“He’s my best friend and my big brother. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.”

“Asides from tell him you’re going to fake your own death.” She teased me and I gave her a wry smile.

“Yeah, asides from that, I guess.”

“Wasn’t it hard keeping it a secret? I’m not judging you, but how could you do that?” She looked at me with wonder in her eyes. “Personally, if you had been my brother, I’m not sure I would have ever forgiven you. I hate being lied to, especially by the people closest to me.”

“It was for my brother’s safety.” I started and she shook her head.

“That’s bullshit.” She took a sip of wine. “No offence, but you do realize that’s bull. He’s your brother and from what I know of him, he seems like a pretty great and trustworthy guy. You should have told him.”

“Sometimes you have to lie to the ones you love to protect them.” I gave her an earnest look as I said the statement Special Agent Waldron had instilled in me. “Sometimes the ones you love are better off not knowing the truth.”

“What malarkey is that?” She shook her head vehemently. “You should never lie to the ones you love. What sort of foundation is that for a relationship built on love and honesty?”

“Sometimes you can’t tell people everything.” I shrugged and took a deep gulp of wine. I was starting to feel claustrophobic and I didn’t know how much longer I could continue in this conversation.

“I don’t agree.” Robin looked upset and jumped up. “Do you want anything to eat? I have some turkey slices and some grapes.”

“That sounds good, thanks.” I nodded and sat back as she walked into the kitchen. I looked around the apartment and enjoyed the opportunity to have a glimpse into her soul. The apartment complex itself was sketchy, but her apartment was a real home. It smelled like peaches and pie and while everything was slightly worn, it wasn’t tattered. It was lived in and homey. The only thing that I noticed was that there weren’t a lot of photographs at all, and for some reason that surprised me. I looked at a console table with two frames and went over to look at the two photos. One appeared to be a photo of her and an older couple, whom I assumed to be her foster parents, but the next photograph was a photo of her with a man and he had her arm around her. I felt a surge of jealousy as I looked at the photograph. I wanted to know who the man was and why she still had his photo up in her apartment. Did she still love him? I wanted to go into the kitchen and demand that she tell me who he was, but I stopped myself from doing so. For one, I thought that only a crazy guy would go demanding answers when he wasn’t even officially in a relationship, and secondly, I realized that this might be the last night I ever spent with her. Who was I to go act all jealous and then just leave? I already felt like scum staying the night at her apartment, knowing I was going to be leaving Los Angeles the next day. The phone call with Skylar was still at the forefront of my mind and I knew that I had to go and save her.

“Here we go,” Robin walked back into the room with a smile. “I hope you’re hungry, I put quite a bit on the plate.”

“Thanks. I’m pretty starved.” I sat back down on the couch and grabbed some grapes. “So who’s the guy in the photo?” I pointed to the console and almost groaned to myself. I just couldn’t stop the little green monster from coming out.

“Oh,” Robin paused. “That’s me and my ex. Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry.” I gave her a quick smile, trying to pretend I was not terribly disappointed. “Do you still love him and miss him, then?”

“No.” She shook her head slowly. “Not really.”

“So sometimes?” I leaned towards her.

“I guess.” She sighed and sat back. “I don’t have feelings for him anymore. But sometimes I miss him. We used to be friends.”

“I see.” I didn’t see and I didn’t want to do anything but smash the photo.

“Do you still miss your ex?” Robin looked at me curiously and her eyes were alert.

“No,” I shook my head as anger raced through me. “I hate her.” I sighed and then paused. “Well, no, I don’t hate her. But I dislike the person she is. She’s the sort of woman who makes you want to protect her because she acts like she’s a victim, but really it’s others who need protecting from her.”

“Sounds like she really hurt you.”

“She did hurt me.” I said bitterly. “In her own way, she hurt me the best way she knew how.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. She was married, you know. She escaped from her ex. She told me that he had been beating her. She even had some scars. She was really broken. I knew that from the start. I could see it in her face, hear it in her voice. We both were in Palm Bonita because we had to be, not because we wanted to be, and we both missed the outside world. That’s how we bonded.” I talked more than I had expected to, but I wanted Robin to understand. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but once she realized I was gone and why, I wanted her to remember this conversation and understand why I had to leave. I wanted her to know it wasn’t because I didn’t like her.

“That sounds pretty reasonable.” She nodded, but I could see little sparks of jealousy in her eyes as well.

“We shared personal and intimate information about each other.” I sighed. “I told her why I was really in Palm Bonita. I had wanted her to know I wasn’t one of the bad guys. That I was really there for a good reason. I even told her who my father was and that I came from a family of money. I made all the mistakes I wasn’t supposed to make. And she held it over me.”

“She blackmailed you?” Robin gasped.

“No,” I shook my head. “She was too smart for that. But she would ask for things or expect things. She would hold stuff over my head. She was smart, you know. She knew how to word things to make you wonder and feel sorry for her. And I fell for it.”

“She doesn’t seem like a very nice person.”

“Oh, she wasn’t.” I sighed and shook my head. “She wasn’t a nice person at all.” I stared into Robin’s eyes wanting to tell her everything so badly. But I was scared. I had made that mistake before and it had nearly cost me everything. I couldn’t risk anything going wrong at this point. “Excuse me a second,” I smiled at Robin as my phone rang and I answered it. “Hello, Lucky.”