Jennifer Probst - Searching for Someday

“Yes, I do. Sex is one of the most important aspects in a relationship. If you want shy and virginal, tell me. If you like BDSM and enjoy tying your partners up, it’s a good item for me to note, because I won’t set you up with a woman who may go screaming for the door. I make no judgments or opinions. Just tell me what you want.”

Why was her heart pounding so loudly? Her throat constricted, and her muscles tightened anticipating his response. Wow, she’d been physically attracted to some of her clients but had never experienced such a primitive pull straight from her gut. She kept her gaze averted so he wouldn’t catch her female weakness and exploit it.

His laugh exploded through the room. The dark, husky tones stroked her like fingers plunging between her thighs and urging her to explode. Kate concentrated on breathing slowly and went back to the puppies in the shelter. “You want to talk about sex, huh? Okay. Let’s talk about sex.” She pretended to be busy scribbling so she wouldn’t have to look up. “I enjoy pleasure. I enjoy sex. I prefer a woman who asks me for what she wants so I can give it to her exactly the way she likes it, because one of the sweetest sounds in life is a woman screaming my name.” His voice lowered, whisper soft and wicked hot. “I’m not into BDSM, but I’ve used blindfolds, scarves, and toys in pursuit of the ultimate experience. I don’t like to be tied up but prefer to do the tying. And I don’t need a woman on her knees unless she wants to be there. Does that help answer your question?”

Kate bobbed her head up and down in a frantic nod. Her power of speech disappeared, and fire licked her veins. She reached for her water, took a large swallow, and managed to gather her composure. “Yes, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

She pretended to look for something in her file, since her voice threatened to be wobbly. After a few moments, Kate dove back in. “Let’s talk past relationships. Have you ever been married?”

“Yes.”

She paused and ventured a glance under her lashes. His previous amusement vanished, and a wall slammed down between them. Ah, she’d hit pay dirt. “Divorced?”

“Yep.”

“What happened?”

“We broke up.”

“Care to tell me why?”

She waited him out. This was a turning point, because information on his past helped her plan his future. “I plead the Fifth.”

His wife had hurt him. Ex-wife. The knowledge softened her heart and beckoned for her to reach out and touch him. She’d avoided any skin-on-skin contact, afraid the attraction would be more difficult to fight, but his comment made her curl her fingers into tight fists to keep from closing the distance. Kate gentled her voice. “Slade, I don’t mean to pry and upset you. Our past makes up who we are and what we want. It would help if I knew what happened so that I can avoid setting you up with someone who can hurt you again. Not that there are guarantees, of course.”

He tapped his finger against his chin and studied her with brooding eyes. “How about we play truth for truth? Why aren’t you happily married? Unless you are and you like hearing other people’s horror stories to get your kicks and excitement?”

The familiar pain sprang up, but she pushed it back down with an expert ease that should have scared her. “No, I’m not married.”

“Kinnections not working for you?”

She lifted her chin. “The truth is, no man has ever wanted me enough to propose.”

The silence pulsed and hummed. She’d learned early that fair was fair. If she asked her clients to trust her with their backgrounds, she owed it to them to do the same. He cleared his throat and spoke with no emotion. “She cheated on me. But it was my fault. I was too involved in law school and ignored her for too long. Classic formula for the classic divorcee.”

Kate wanted more but knew how much the words cost him. God, how that must have affected him. He was obviously a strong man, and once trust was shattered, it took years to rebuild confidence in love. His profession was pretty deadly to any optimism regarding relationships. “Thank you. Makes sense loyalty and trust would be among your number one requirements. That will help me.” She lightened the topic, switching back to easy territory. “Give me your celebrity crush.”

“Huh?”

She smiled. “If you got to pick the celebrity female you want to sleep with, who would it be?”

“Angelina Jolie.”

The name slipped out so fast from his lips he looked surprised. Kate laughed and made the note. “Nice choice. But I must say a bit cliché. Do you know how many times men and women rattled off her name?”

“Now I’m embarrassed. Change it to Zooey Deschanel.”

“Ah, better. So definitely brunettes with curves. Too bad my friend’s sister is happily married. She always reminded me of Zooey.”

“Do I have a chance at stealing her?”

“Nah, Alexa is madly in love with her husband. But at least I’ve got an idea of your holy grail.”

“Get me Zooey and I’ll take out a full-page ad in the Times for Kinnections.”

She laughed again. “I’ll work on it. I see you don’t list many hobbies. What do you like to do outside of work?”

“I work most of the time. I run every day. Golf. Boring stuff.”

“Would you be open to an adventurous type of woman? Someone who skydives, likes sports, scuba diving, that sort of thing?”

Another shrug. “Sure. As long as she doesn’t think I’m jumping out of a plane for her. Screaming may take away my manhood.”

“Duly noted. Religion? Nationality?”

“Open. Oh, no virgins.”

Her pen paused. “Under any circumstances?”

“Absolutely not. I can’t take the pressure of no sex before marriage, and a woman who hasn’t had experience may have a false attachment to me just because I’m her first.”

Kate’s finger shook around the pen. “Got it. Now, just so I have a good background of your beliefs, what is your viewpoint on love? You enrolled with Kinnections to try to find a life partner or a woman you can forge a solid long-term relationship with. I’ll ask you again: are you completely committed and open to finding this?”

“I’m open. I just don’t think it exists.”

Fascinated, she leaned in. “Why?”

He uncrossed his legs, stretched his feet out, and settled comfortingly back in the chair. “One word. Oxytocin.”

Kate blinked. “What’s that?”

“Simple science. The body excretes a chemical hormone at certain moments that emphasizes the need for closeness and comfort. This lowers fear and instills a calmness we believe and translate to feelings of love. The main time oxytocin is released is after sex. That’s why many times lust will get us into bed, good conversation will give us hope, and oxytocin will cement such feelings as love.”

Her eyes widened. Pride and certainty carved out the lines of his face. Holy shit, he believed it! Caught between laughing and crying, she studied his muscled length in all his glory and realized that Slade Montgomery was going to be her hardest client as of yet. The challenge sung in her blood. Matching and finding him love would be her greatest satisfaction. A test of her skills. If she did her job correctly, he wouldn’t know how to even say the word oxytocin at the end of their time together.

“An interesting theory.”

“One you obviously don’t agree with.”

“That doesn’t matter. You believe it, so, therefore, it’s my truth. Thank you for being honest with me.”

Slade peered over his gold glasses in pure suspicion. “You’re not going to try to convince me otherwise?”

She smiled. “No. But now I know what needs to happen so you’re sure it’s not a chemical hormone. You need to fall in love before sex.”