Courtney Cole - Before We Fall

Jacey looks at me. “Will your dad be mad? That was a classic.”

I smile, just a little. “Nah. I’ll buy him another one. One that has a working tape deck.”

Even though the old car is gone, sunken in the water, I swear I can still hear that song. Do you remember when, we used to sing… sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-te-da…

Glancing over my shoulder, the pond seems quietly eerie, the last of the bubbles forming in the middle, the only evidence that it is the watery grave for my memories.

“Good-bye, Emma,” I murmur.

Jacey squeezes my hand and we walk for the house. As we wind along the old path, I pause, staring into Jacey’s brown eyes, eyes that contain such warmth and goodness.

“I love you,” I murmur to her, finally able to say the words. “I think I’ve known that for a while. I’m sorry that it’s taken so long for me to say it. I love you so fucking much.”

She smiles, a radiant white smile.

“All that matters is that you’re saying it now,” she says gently. “I love you too. I love you to the moon and back. You know that, right?”

I do.

“I want you to know that even though Emma was such a big part of my past, you are my future. You are my present. You’re everything, Jacey. I need you to know that. I love you more than anything, more than life itself.”

“I know,” she whispers softly, and I can see from her gentle expression that she does.

I pull her to me and kiss her, thorough and sweet and with just a hint of wild. It’s the way she deserves to be kissed… it’s everything she is. Sweet, with just a hint of wild.

There’s no ugliness here.

Jacey

One Month Later

My brother’s excited voice echoes into my ear loudly, and I hold the phone just a little bit away from my head.

“Elijah Gabriel Vincent. He’s eight pounds and three ounces and he’s beautiful, Jacey. He’s so fucking beautiful.”

I smile and congratulate my big brother, so happy to hear him so happy. There was a time when I didn’t think I’d see the day. But here it is. And he so deserves it.

“Brand just happened to be here for a meeting when Maddy’s water broke. You should’ve seen his face,” Gabe crows. “Oh my god. It was priceless. I thought he might pass out.”

I laugh. “I can imagine. Please tell him hello for me. I miss him. I haven’t seen him in a few weeks.”

Gabe sobers up. “You can tell him yourself. He’s right here.”

Before I can say anything, Gabe hands the phone to Brand and Brand sighs into it.

“Hey, Jacey.”

My heart squeezes. I hurt him. I hurt the most amazingly gentle badass on the planet.

“Hey, Brand,” I say brightly, forcing enthusiasm. “How are you?”

“Well, I’ve now seen amniotic fluid on the floor. I can cross that off my bucket list. And after hearing Maddy scream during labor, I don’t know how you women do it.”

I can practically see him shudder and I smile, imagining that he sat right outside of her delivery room, waiting to hear that everything was all right.

“Um. I’m sorry, Brand. For everything,” I say tentatively. Sorry is all I can think of to say. It’s what I feel… I just don’t know how to express it to him enough.

He sighs again.

“It’s okay. Don’t think anything else about it. This is my issue, not yours. I’ll get past it and things will be like they were, okay?”

He sounds tired and sad and I hate it. But I know him and I know he doesn’t want to dwell on it. So I nod.

“Okay. I want you to know that I love you. Not like you want me to love you, but I still love you.”

“I know. I’ll talk to you later, Jace.”

He hands the phone back to my brother, leaving my heart clenched in my chest.

“He’s going to be okay, Jacey,” my brother tells me quietly. “Just so you know. So don’t worry about him. I think he always knew that you and he weren’t meant to be.”

I nod. “I know. But it still hurts me that I hurt him.”

“He’s fine,” Gabe insists. “Maddy’s gonna work on setting him up with some of her friends. Trust me, he’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure he will be,” I agree. “He’s strong. He’s survived far worse things than me.”

“You got that right, kiddo. When are you coming to see your nephew? How’s the new job? What are they calling their new restaurant chain?”

I think back to the day a couple of weeks ago when Dom, Duncan, and Sin argued over a name for the new restaurant chain that they’re launching together. They’d bickered for hours until I chimed into the conversation.

How about The Dirty Dog? Because that’s what you three are. Dirty fucking dogs. Perverted as hell.

They’d stared at me in shock, then had a toast to the name, because they knew that it fit them like a glove. And then Sin had asked me to come work for them on their business development team, since I have “restaurant experience.”

Since I’ll have my business degree finished up in a couple of weeks, it made sense, so I accepted.

“It’s The Dirty Dog. We’re going to sell seafood and craft beer. I’ve actually already started part-time, since I quit Saffron, but I’ll be starting full time in a couple of weeks when I officially finish my business degree.”

“I’m so proud of you, Jacey,” Gabriel tells me happily. “You’ve really pulled your shit together.”

“I know,” I answer. “I’m just sorry that I gave you so much trouble along the way.”

“It’s all right,” he replies with a chuckle. “Like Brand, I’ve been through far worse than you.”

I laugh. “Okay. I’ve gotta go. I’ll try to get up there in a couple of weeks. Give that baby a kiss for me and send me pics, okay? And tell Maddy that I love her.”

Gabriel agrees and we hang up.

“You ready, babe?”

I turn to find Dominic lounging in the doorway. Like always, he takes my breath away. He’s just that sexy. He’s wearing dark slacks and a dark shirt today, dressed up to go to the ribbon-cutting of the newly renovated Joe’s Gladiators.

“Yeah. I’m ready.”

He leads me through my little house to his car, where he opens the door for me. When he gets in, I glance at my home.

“I’m going to miss this little place, Dom. Are you sure you want to buy a fancy condo for when we’re here in Chicago? We could just stay here. It wouldn’t be a big deal.”

Dom glances at it. “Um. There’s no garage for my car.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever. Fine. We can get a fancy condo. You’re spoiled, though.”

He throws his head back and laughs. “Really? Coming from the woman who just bought four new sets of sheets for absolutely no reason?”

“Don’t judge. Good sheets are essential.” I stick my nose in the air and he leans over to kiss me.

“That’s all right, babe,” he adds. “I want to spoil you.”

We pull up to Joe’s a few minutes later, and I barely recognize the place. The building has been completely renovated, inside and out. A state-of-the-art gym with all new equipment and offices, an after-school meal program, and even a running track out back.

They’ve been waiting on us to arrive, so when we approach they hand Dominic the giant scissors to snip the red velvet ribbon across the door.

“On behalf of the Emma Brandt Foundation, we are pleased to present you with the reopening of Joe’s Gladiator’s!” Dominic announces. Flashbulbs pop, and for once Dom isn’t bothered by his picture being taken.

He shakes Joe’s hand, and Joe looks pleased as he can be by the big turnout. I know that in large part, the press showed up because of Dominic, but regardless. They’re here, and any attention we can get for the underprivileged kids is worth it.