Raine Miller: Cherry Girl

It was my turn to close my eyes in relief this time. “I was wrong?”

“Dead wrong, Cherry.” He nodded slowly, his eyes searing. “You may have me.”

“What?” The ability to comprehend information had obviously left me.

“You can have me,” he repeated, still holding my hand intertwined, his expression still burning into me with his dark, soulful eyes.

But why—when did you know this—wait—you came to the pub tonight—you came tonight…because…?”

“Because I heard you’d broken off with that fuckin’ arse, Tompkins, and I was home on leave to actually do something about it for once. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for this?” His voice had a definite edge to it now. “For the timing to work out for us ?” He sounded frustrated.

“You were waiting.” I was in such disbelief I again repeated his words, trying to accept everything he was telling me. “You’ve been waiting...”

“I have.” He leaned in toward my lips but didn’t touch them. “Waiting and waiting forever. For you. Waiting for you to grow up. Waiting for you to see me as something more than just a friend of Ian’s. Waiting for the right time to tell you how I feel about you.” He whispered so close, I could feel the brush of breath from his beautiful words. “Just a very long time of waiting, Elaina.”

“Oh…” I felt more tears threatening to spill.

“I don’t want to wait anymore.” His eyes melded into me and held on. “Please don’t make me wait for you any longer,” he pleaded. “I can’t do it, Cherry. I just can’t.”

Such beautiful words. And they came from his mouth to my ears, about me…

“So tell me now, please.” I took a deep breath and reached out a trembling hand to his face. I needed to touch him and feel the warmth of his skin. I needed to feel him in order to help my poor brain accept that this was really and truly happening in the moment—not some beautiful fantasy dream I would have to wake up from. It sure felt like a dream though. Neil has been waiting for me…

Here we both were talking about our feelings and wants and desires. Neil had me close enough to touch in his bed at his flat.

Truly unbelievable.

Again, I summoned my courage and asked, “I want to—no—Neil, I need to know exactly what you feel for me,” I whispered. “I have to hear you say it to believe it.”

He took hold of my shaking hand and brought it to his lips, his eyes never wavering from mine, and said the three words I’d dreamed about for forever, but never believed would come.

“I love you,” he said clearly, just before kissing my hand again.

His declaration was soft and gentlein the way he formed his words, but so honest and clear at the same time, I believed he meant it. Neil had just told me he loved me and I believed him.

I felt my heart lose a beat; sure it’d just up and stopped working, when he’d said those three little words to me. Hearts will do that when under emotional duress or when something sad or terrible comes along. I think this qualified as emotional duress. No sad or terrible here tonight though. This was glorious and perfect.

Neil loved me.

“Neil…I—I’ve loved you since I can remember. There was never a time when I didn’t.” I looked to the side and gathered more courage to say the rest. “But then, there was never a time when I thought you’d ever feel the same about me either.”

“Look at me, Cherry.” He took my chin and tugged me back to him. “You silly, beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, amazing girl, were once again, so very, very wrong about me and what I was feeling for you all these years. How could I not love you? You’re perfect, remember? Utterly perfect. I just had to wait for the right time to tell you is all.”

I listened to every word he said as he smoothed over my hair.

“Every time I was home, you’d have someone new and it wasn’t fair for me to try to steer you away from them and into my arms.”

I started crying again but this time it was mostly in happiness. “I wish you would’ve.”

“No.” He shook his head once. “No, I had to wait.”

He took my face in his hands and brushed along the tears wetting my cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re so beautiful to me, Cherry, even when you cry.”

And then he kissed me like he had the right to. The way I’d always wished he might. Neil kissed away my tears and wiped out all of the longing I’d known for ages, all in an instant. I melted into his big body and savored his touch. His lips. His words. I had everything I’d ever wanted from him now.

“You were my Cherry Girl when you were little.”

“I was.” I nodded into his hands.

“And you’re my Cherry Girl now.”

“Yes,” I managed another nod and just that one word.

“I love you, Elaina Morrison, and you’ll always be my Cherry Girl. Always. Nothing will change it for me.” He leaned forward and kissed me sweetly, whispering, “Believe me.”

I couldn’t speak. My ability to voice words had completely left me. I was so overwhelmed. All I could do was stare back. And breathe.

Neil tilted his head at me. “You look like maybe you don’t.”

“I do but I—I have to take a shower now,” I blurted. “And use your toothbrush, and get something to wear. I puked with this mouth tonight. Twice. And I’ve got no clothes on.”

He broke into a smile at my announcement, and didn’t even flinch at my puke comment. He must really and truly love me.

“Please say I get to help you with all of that.”

“The teeth brushing, maybe—the shower, no,” I fired back, suddenly feeling shy about the direction this conversation was heading and my state of undress. In the sanctuary of my mind I could be bold about wanting to be with Neil, but it was too soon to just slide between the sheets together and start shagging. I needed to come out of my shock first before we got down to the sex part. What if he wants it tonight? How would he take the news when I told him I needed a little time to get to that point?

Turned out I had nothing to worry about because Neil was the perfect gentleman with me, as always.

“I know that, beautiful girl,” he said, with a peck to my nose, “but you’re staying here tonight, yes?” He swept his eyes over me again before landing on my face. The look he gave me was almost a look of pleading. I could see how much he wanted me to stay, just as much as I wanted to pledge myself to him.

“Yes.” I nodded slowly. “I’m staying here tonight.” I planted both hands on top of the sheets, one on each side of my hips, showing him I really meant it. “I want to be here with you.”

“Good. That’s all I need right now. I just want to hold you and know you’re here, safe with me and that this—with you…is real.” He brushed over my hair with his hand again. “I’m afraid I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone. I need to get used to the idea of having you all to myself.”

Yes please!

The burgeoning shyness grew stronger until I had to look away. My eyes landing on the thin sheet barely covering my body didn’t help me to feel extra confident either. I needed to establish some truths first.

“Okay…” God, I sounded like such a trembling idiot. “This…with us…it is real, right?” My insecurity rang out clearly in the tone of my voice. I breathed heavier as my heart pounded, waiting for him to answer.

“Yes, Cherry, it’s real.” He tugged on my chin with his index finger to get me to look up.

I could see the earnestness in his eyes, and in the way he studied me with his dark browns when I finally looked at him.