Vivian Arend - Rocky Mountain Rebel

“Hmm, that feels nice.” Vicki whispered the words, her breathing nearly back to normal. “Joel?”

He leaned his shoulders away just enough to see her face. “Yeah?”

She stroked his cheek and smiled contentedly. “I liked that. Totally hot.”

So had he, but he hadn’t forgotten why he’d been insane. Frantic sex had eased his anger, and the way she burrowed in against his neck, he didn’t think she was pissed off at all he’d been a demanding asshole this time around.

Which was good, because he’d enjoyed the sex a lot. But this wasn’t the end, it was the beginning.

He wasn’t about to start the next step now, with his cock still embedded in her body, but once they were back to civilization, they were going to have a long-postponed conversation. About her disappearance the days before, the fuck-it-all attitude she’d had tonight. Hell, even dig a little deeper into a few other areas that up to now they’d avoided in the good old time they’d been having while hanging out.

Screw going slow. It was past time for some secrets to be shared.

Vicki accepted the cup of hot chocolate from Joel, staring around her in amazement.

He hadn’t taken her home after they’d driven back to the ranch house and dropped off Ashley and Travis. Well, not true. He’d taken her home and told her to pack a bag, then he’d hustled her out the door and into his truck. Driving into the mountains for an hour in the deepening black was a little like moving into a fantasy world.

The heat under her fingers was the only solid, non-confusing part, so she focused on it. A few sips at a time to center herself before she had to break the silence.

The tiny cabin had a small counter on one wall, the door to a bathroom on another, and the rest of the room was pretty much taken up with bed. This little corner she’d claimed was right in front of the wood-burning fireplace Joel had gotten going only moments after ushering her in the door.

The entire evening had bordered on the fantastic, and she was still reeling.

“How did you set this up so quickly?” She stroked the carpet under her fingers, luxuriating in the softness.

“Friend of the family. We have a standing invitation. I checked the website, and it wasn’t booked for the next couple nights, so it’s ours.”

Vicki shifted position as Joel lowered himself to the floor, his blue eyes catching hold of hers and not letting go.

She wasn’t sure why they were there, but that expression he wore scared her a little. “It’s pretty, but I don’t understand why we took off so fast.”

Joel leaned back on the foot of the bed, stretching his legs in front of him. “We need to talk, and there was a definite lack of places we could be uninterrupted. My place was out. Hope could stop in at any time at your new place.”

“Forget the barn, since everyone we know finds us there eventually, right?”

He smiled at her joke. “Yeah…”

He wanted to talk. Vicki held herself very still. She didn’t think he’d haul her all the way out to a cabin to tell her he’d had enough of their little game. He’d been really pissed off when she’d…it seemed unreal now…kissed Ashley, but his anger had vanished after they’d had the incredible sex.

Vicki waited. No way was she going to open up the conversation without knowing what he was looking for. She still trusted him. There was no way she would have come with him for the night if she didn’t.

Although she quickly shoved a few reinforcement bricks into the wall she had to maintain around her heart.

He didn’t keep her on tenterhooks for long. Reached over and plucked the cup from her hand and put it to the side. When he kept hold of her fingers and caressed them, she wanted to snatch her hands back because his touch was so tender she was going to come apart.

Joel cleared his throat. “I’m a stupid shit.”

She couldn’t help it. Vicki burst out laughing. “That’s not what I expected you to say.”

“It’s true, though.” His thumb stroked the back of her hand as he carried on. “I understand more why, for the past few years, Blake and Daniel have told me I’m too young to grasp what’s going on. Why Matt shakes his head and pokes at me that some day when I grow up things will make more sense. I’m a shit because all the time we’ve been together I’ve been far more focused on me. Like some typical kid whose world is a ten-foot space, and they’re the center of the fucking universe.”

Whoa . She sure hadn’t expected him to start ragging on himself. “We’re young. Aren’t we supposed to be a little selfish?”

Joel shook his head. “No excuses. I bet you haven’t had a real chance to be young for a lot longer than is right.”

She lowered her gaze, unable to meet his anymore. She shrugged. “It’s just the way it is.”

Joel lifted her chin, his fingers gentle on her skin. “Over the past couple months, I’ve learned things about you, and your life, and while I’m growing up, I’ve still been sliding. So I want you to know. The rest of the time we’re together, I’m going to do it right.”

She wasn’t sure what he thought he’d been doing wrong. “I’m lost…”

“We got a three-part deal, right? You getting happy around horses, changing our reputations, and learning about sex.”

“We’re doing all those things.” Vicki edged closer, poking him on the chest. “It’s not your fault I jammed out of the horse thing. We’ll move ahead, there’s still time. And the sex, holy hell, you’ve been awesome in teaching me about that. And you said it yourself, people are seeing us as a couple, that’s good, right?”

Joel nodded. “It is, but it’s not enough. You wanted to know what it’s like to have a boyfriend, and I wanted a girlfriend, and hell if I didn’t fuck that part up.”

Nope. “This is going in one ear and out the other. What have you mucked up so bad, because I can’t see it.”

Joel made a face. “That’s because you don’t know any better, but I do. So here’s my commitment. I’m going to take care of you like I should be, and hopefully that means you’ll notice a difference, deal?”

Vicki hesitated. The only thing she saw coming from him giving her more was more trouble. She’d get even further attached to the Coleman clan, and yet not truly belong.

“It’s not real, though, Joel. We’re just doing this until the spring.”

“There’s a good example of what I mean. Who says this isn’t real? We’re friends, and friends help each other.” He paused, regrouped. “We are friends, right?”

Oh hell. Vicki stopped completely and thought it through. There was only one possible answer. “Of course we are.”

Joel eased back and nodded. “Good. Then there’s something I need to know, as one friend to another. What happened with Eric Tell?”

Vicki wondered if running to the bathroom and hiding was an option.

Joel raised a brow. “I can tell you the version I got if that helps, and you fill in the blanks. Rumour says you two slept together during his senior year, which I know is total bullshit. You hate his guts, that much is obvious, but the rest I don’t get.”

He had her hand again, stroking it as if attempting to settle her. The entire evening blurred together until she realized she had two options.

She either went forward from this moment and trusted Joel completely, or she didn’t. Not sharing with him meant all her secrets stayed hidden, but it also meant all the barriers she’d put up stayed up. For once in her life she longed to be completely honest with someone. To be able to trust them and let them in.

Joel had been nothing but wonderful, and she ached so hard to let go of her walls, it was impossible to resist.