Vivian Arend - Falling, Freestyle

Dara shook her head rapidly. “No, no. That’s not what I meant, Kane. I wanted you.” She glanced at Jack. “Only I wanted you both, and I thought that if I arranged to get more physical with you I could figure out if I wanted one of you more.”

Jack stiffened, his whole body bunched up tight. “And did it work?”

She shook her head. “I thought I could help the situation, but I think I’ve made a terrible mistake. The past few days have only made it clearer that I don’t want to choose between you. I don’t want to be with you, Jack, not if Kane’s not around. And I can’t see loving Kane alone—I’d miss you terribly.”

Kane’s heart turned over. Holy shit, she was suggesting the same thing he’d been leaning toward. He stepped forward but Jack beat him to her.

Jack took her hands in his, lifting one to his lips and kissing her knuckles gently. He let out a huge sigh. “I’m glad that the ménage was something you really did want, but you’re right—in a way it was a mistake. It was a fantasy, and I was more than happy to help you spread your wings, but it isn’t something that can continue for the rest of our lives.”

“Why not?” Dara’s voice quivered, soft in the hushed air.

“Why not? That’s an easy question to answer. For how long, Dara? How long do the three of us set up house together? I can see it working for fun, for a short term, but if you overheard us talking did you hear the part about trying for forever?”

“Forever?” Her eyes were huge, moisture filling them. Kane moved closer.

“Yeah, as in marriage, get a dog, have a few kids. How do you think that would work with three partners?”

“I don’t know, but I’m willing to try.”

Jack dropped her hands. “I’m not.”

He spun and grabbed his bag from the floor. Utter misery painted Dara’s expression, and Kane wrapped an arm around her as he called after Jack’s retreating back. “I never figured you as a quitter.”

Jack stopped short of the door. He pivoted and glared at Kane. “I’m not a quitter, I’m a realist. Damn it, am I the only responsible adult in this room?”

Before had been time to shut up, now was time to push. Kane goaded him again. “You want this, Jack. Admit it. You’d like to say screw it to the conventions around us and be with Dara and me because it’s the best damn thing you’ve ever had in your life.”

“Fuck it.” Jack growled. “Fine, I’ll admit it. I want to be with Dara so bad my brain aches. And I’d be lost without my best friend. But just because I want a thing, doesn’t mean I can have it. What you’re suggesting is impractical.”

“If we don’t try, we’ll never know,” Dara whispered.

Jack shook his head and grabbed the doorknob. “I can’t lie to myself and wish for the impossible.”

He left the room and Dara burst into tears.

Kane twisted her in his arms, letting her hide herself against his chest. Damn Jack for being a stubborn fool. If he wasn’t interested, fine. But to admit that he wanted the same thing as they did and still say no…

It had been a long time since he’d actually hit Jack, but he was perilously close to remedying that.

He held Dara while she wept, breathing as slowly and calmly as he could to try and pass on some peace. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight, and the image of being with her, having her in his life, hit him like a load of bricks.

If Jack said no, he could have her to himself.

For one awful moment, he contemplated the idea before realizing that plan was more impossible than any of the future paths stretching before them. It would kill Jack to see him and Dara together, knowing that he could have been a part of a relationship. If she’d actually picked one of them, there would have been bruised egos and frustrations to work through, but now?

They were screwed.

Although, there was still a faint ray of hope. Jack had admitted he wasn’t totally against the idea, and as far as Kane was concerned, that meant maybe . He and Dara needed to figure out how to convince the jerk to get off his high horse and give them a chance. The sooner the better, as well, because once Jack trenched in it would take a bulldozer to move him.

He kissed the top of Dara’s head and she looked up at him. He brushed away a tear from her cheek with his thumb, holding her face in his hands tenderly.

“Do you think we can convince him to change his mind?” Her words came out shaky.

“Perhaps. Come here.” He led her to the couch and sat her down, squatting before her to be eye level. “Dara, I want you to think about it and tell me the truth. Why do you want this? I mean, I suppose Jack’s a good-enough guy. I know I’m a fairly hot catch as well.”

An involuntary burst of laughter escaped her. “And oh so modest.”

“Exactly.” He winked at her and she gave him an unsteady smile. He kissed her cheek. “That’s my girl. We’ll get through this, you’ll see.”

She nodded jerkily. “Okay. I just…I want it so bad. I really did try to figure out another way, but it seems so perfect.”

“Why don’t you pick one of us and we’ll find a way to keep our friendship strong. The changed dynamics will be tough at first, but with a little work—”

“Don’t you see? That’s what’s so screwed up here.” She shook her head in frustration, jumping to her feet. Kane took her spot on the couch and watched her pace. “So you two are willing to put the work in to stay friends if you don’t have me, or stay friends without gloating if you do. Where’s the logic in that? Why not put all that energy into making the three of us a reality? Maybe it is impossible, and down the road we’ll have to call it quits, but…”

Kane considered. She was right, and damn if she didn’t even have enough logic in there to please Jack.

She growled as she stomped across the room, wiping tears from her eyes. She turned to face him, her hands planted on her hips. “Jack’s such an arrogant bastard at times. ‘Only adult in the room.’ More like the only child. He’s not even going to take the toy out of the box to play with it because he might break it.”

Kane whistled softly. Man, was she calling it right. “He has a couple of collector’s items like that at his folk’s place.”

Dara’s jaw hung open. “You’re shitting me.”

He shook his head. “You know what? I think you hit the nail on the head. He’s afraid. He doesn’t want to lose either of us.”

“And he won’t.”

Kane held out a hand to her and she joined him, crawling into his lap. He combed his fingers through her hair. “There’re no guarantees here, babe, but you’re right. If we don’t try, it won’t happen.”

She stared at him, the remaining tears glistening in the corners of her eyes, and he reached up to wipe them away.

“Are you really good with this?”

He shrugged. “I’ve got a few concerns. I’d be an idiot if I didn’t. But Dara…”

There was a crease forming between her eyes, and he smoothed his thumb over it. He’d spent four years coming to this place, and if he didn’t say it now, he’d explode. “I’m in love with you.”

Dara stared at him. “What?”

He paused. “You want to interpret that for me? Did you mean ‘what’ as in ‘I didn’t hear you’? Or ‘what’ as in ‘I can’t believe you said that and I’m going to freak out’?”

She grabbed his face in both hands and kissed him madly before pulling off. “What, as in I really really need to hear you say it again. Oh God, Kane, I love you too. At least I think I do. Only…”

He pressed her head to his shoulder. “You love Jack as well, right?”

She nodded.

“Well then. All we need to do is get Mr. Proper to admit what he feels—because I can tell you he’s fucking gone for you as well.”