Robin Alexander - Pitifully Ugly

looking for a partner?”

“Well now, that depends,” I said haughtily with my hand on

my hip. “Do you have road rage? A cat that bites? Did you just

leave your husband? Are you looking for a really kinky good time

and think I may be interested?”

Sue’s eyes bulged and her jaw went slack before she replied,

“I’m just looking for a tennis partner.”

“Sure you are.” I waved my racket. “Start stepping, sister,

you’re outta luck here.”

Sue held her racket in front of her like a weapon and took a

step back. I mimicked her stance as if we were about to sword

fight. “You’re insane,” she said as she backed away.

I turned and noticed that the two women playing on the court

beside me were standing completely still. The ball in play was

bouncing right past the woman that I’d hit earlier.

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Robin Alexander

“That’s right, I’m nuts,” I said as I tucked my racket under

my arm. As I walked out, I guesstimated how long it would take

Sue to get to the front desk and report the raving lunatic she’d

just encountered. I exited the side door and never looked back at

the club I was certain that I would never be welcome in again.

The song They’re Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-haaa! played

through my mind as I walked back to my apartment.

“You’re gonna be an aunt,” Kalen sang when I answered

the phone. “I heard the heartbeat today. The baby is strong and

healthy.”

“I’m happy for you, sis, I really am.” I tried to sound upbeat

for her sake.

“There’s one little problem, though. My doctor wants me to

take it easy, no stress. Remember when I agreed to attend that

conference in Atlanta?”

I plopped down on the couch with a vague recollection of a

conversation we’d had. Kalen had agreed to give a presentation

on behalf of Natural Beauty, a hair product line we used at the

salons. In exchange, they used some of our models for their

advertisements. It boosted our clientele overnight.

“I remember. What happens if you cancel now?”

“That’s just the point. The conference is a week away and I’m

locked in. Angela is counting on me, and I’ve already paid for the

hotel. It’s like five hundred bucks a night.”

“Must you always travel deluxe?” I asked, calculating what

we’d already spent.

“Yes, I must,” Kalen said unapologetically. “I work my ass

off, and when I have to leave home, I expect to be pampered.”

“So what exactly are you asking me to do?” I hoped she

wasn’t going to confirm my worst fear.

“I told Angela that you’d stand in for me. Are you there?”

Kalen asked when I didn’t respond.

“I’m gonna have to start wearing diapers along with your

baby because lately every time you open your mouth, I want to

shit in my pants.”

“You’re such a big tit sometimes, Shannon. You can do this.”

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“Why can’t Blitz do it?”

“Because she’s got like twenty studs in her face, and she’s not

exactly the public speaking type.”

“And I am? Kalen, I’ve never given a speech in my life!”

“I’ll coach you, everything’s already written. You can bring a

couple of my Valiums if that’ll help. I can’t take them anymore.”

“Call it off. Tell Angela that we’ll have to catch her on the

next round. I don’t care if we lose money on the hotel.”

“Now listen to me,” Kalen said, sounding a lot like our

mother. A tone she would no doubt use on my future niece or

nephew. “You’ve been telling me lately how you’re doing things

on your own, and this time you have to take the reins for me.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“No, there’s no time to think about it. We have to prep you

for the presentation and buy some suitable clothes for you to

wear. Look, you can bring Marvin. He can chat up everybody at

the booth. All you have to do is give the speech. Surely, you can

handle that.”

My brain started screaming. I’m packing my shit and

hightailing it out of here. She’s going down.

“You can do this,” Kalen said, softening her tone. “I’ve always

done things like this because I knew you hated it, not because I

thought you were incapable. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think it

was important. Angela is counting on us, and you have to at least

acknowledge that she’s done us a huge favor already.”

“I want the Valium.”

“Deal. Now drop whatever you’re doing and come pick me

up. We have a lot of shopping to do.”

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Robin Alexander

Chapter 18

When in doubt—fake it.

The week went by like a blur. We shopped like madwomen,

and I had a new wardrobe consisting of three suits, three pairs

of slacks, and a few blouses. One of my suitcases alone was

filled with nothing but shoes. I might’ve been scared shitless, but

I looked like a million bucks. I hoped—and I think Kalen did,

too—that the finely tailored clothes would give me the appearance

of someone who had her crap together.

Hailey had not returned home, nor did she answer any of my

messages or calls. And being in Atlanta knowing that’s where she

lived and worked before she came to New Orleans made it worse.

I was constantly reminded of her.

Kalen had the room upgraded to a suite. Though she swore it

was only a nominal difference, I doubted it. Marvin and I had our

own rooms and a spacious area to lounge in when we weren’t at

the conference. I watched as he moved around the room touching

everything like a child.

“Look at this bar.” Marvin opened the glass doors to the

cabinet filled with liquor and crystal glasses. “This is a swank

place.”

I browsed through the itinerary as he poured a couple of club

sodas. “There’s a social at four. Do I have to go to that?” I asked

as he handed me a glass.

Marvin took a seat across from me on the sofa. He sat with

his forearms resting on his thighs and stared down at his drink.

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Pitifully Ugly

“I have to be honest with you, Shannon. Kalen told me not to say

anything, but I think you need to know that she gave me very strict

instructions to make sure you were present for all events. You’re

the face of the company right now, and you have to mingle.”

She’d given me the same speech, but it still rankled me that

she’d given Marvin orders to enforce it.

“I know you’re shy,” Marvin continued. “So I was thinking

that I’d do most of the talking and kind of open things up for you

to step in when you’re comfortable.”

“Okay, but you have to promise not to leave my side because

the minute I find myself alone, I’m outta there.”

Marvin seemed relieved that I wasn’t bucking the idea. “Deal,

but be patient if I have to go to the bathroom.”

We ordered a late lunch and went over the itinerary. Drinks

that day, exhibition hall Saturday and half the day Sunday, and the

presentation would be given Sunday night before the conference

wrapped. Monday morning, I’d be on my way home, and that

couldn’t come soon enough.

“I know you’re dreading the exhibition hall as much as the

presentation, so I’ll try to make it easy on you,” Marvin said.

“Kalen said Angela doesn’t expect you to be in the booth the

whole time. Spend a couple of hours in the morning extolling the