Robin Alexander - Pitifully Ugly

ended amicably six months ago, and I’m ready to meet someone

nice. So if you’re a good person, and you would like to talk, I’d

like to hear from you.

Marci

P.S. Avoid “Charity” like the plague. She’s seriously

twisted.

If Marci thought Charity was twisted, she might just be worth

a try.

Hi, Marci,

My profile is odd, I admit that. I couldn’t think of anything

that I thought was eye-catching, so what you’ve read was what

I came up with. Maybe I’ll update it when I’m not having a few

glasses of wine.

I hear what you’re saying about the people on here. It’s hard

Robin Alexander

to judge character when you’re looking at a computer screen.

For all you know, I could be a six hundred-pound man with back

hair, but I’m not. I’m just your average girl who’s on the shy side,

hoping to meet someone nice, too.

Instead of asking the usual sil y questions, let me ask you

something off the wal . If you could change anything about

yourself, what would it be?

P.U.

I turned up the volume on my computer and put my new

clothes in the wash. I heard the ding of a new message when I

walked back into the living room.

Hey, P.U.,

As they say, we are all our harshest critics. If I had to pick

one thing from my long list, it would be to let my hair down more

often and jump into new things with both feet. I have a terrible

habit of second-guessing myself and being too afraid of just

getting out there, ya know?

Marci

Yes, I did know. I silently prayed that I wasn’t talking to a six

hundred-pound furry freak man and replied.

Hi, Marci,

I know exactly what you’re saying. I also know that we can

hide behind these computers for months being afraid to take

the next step. So with that said, would you like to have coffee

sometime? We could meet in a public place, and if it doesn’t work

out, we’ll know right off the bat.

I realized that I kind of sounded as blunt as Charity, so I had

to add a disclaimer.

I see that you too have encountered Charity, and I assure you

that I’m nothing like her.

P.U.

4

Pitifully Ugly

We talked for another two hours, and I had a date for drinks

the next evening.

It’s funny how new clothes that fit well instill confidence.

I was nervous, sure, but I was pleased with my reflection in the

mirror. I kept telling myself that this was no big deal, just a couple

of drinks, and if things didn’t work out, I’d never see Marci again.

It was a lot better than being fixed up by someone you knew and

that person would know all the gory date details. If I made a fool

of myself, only one other person would have to know.

I met up with Hailey in the courtyard as she came home

from work. She looked tired, and I didn’t try to keep her. I hoped

that it was just what she said—busy with work. The gnawing

in my stomach and the tiny voice in the back of my mind said

otherwise.

“Long day?” I asked as she approached.

“Very.” Hailey swiped a strand of hair from her eyes. “You

look nice.”

“Thank you. I…I’m meeting someone for drinks.”

Her face held no expression. “I hope it goes better for you

than last time,” she said wearily.

“I appreciate that.” An awkward silence settled between us.

“Well, I better get going. I hope things get better for you at the

office.”

She shot me a halfhearted smile and walked away.

“Hailey,” I called out, causing her to stop and look back at

me. “If I did something to offend you, I hope you’ll tell me.”

She looked as though she were going to say something, then

shook her head. “Stop worrying, everything’s okay. Maybe we

can play tennis again next week.”

“Okay,” I said as I watched her go.

Marci, to my delight, was neither a man nor anything like

Charity. She was a cutie with a vivacious personality to boot. She

did most of the talking, which made things easier on me. She had

a raspy voice that I found sexy, and I could’ve listened to it for

hours. In fact, I did.

Robin Alexander

The only drawback was that she had blond hair, and for a few

seconds, I was reminded of Hailey. I tamped that thought down.

We were roughly the same height, but her build was slightly larger

than mine. I liked that about her. Her eyes were brown, unlike

Hailey’s green. I found myself once again surprised and irritated

that I was thinking about Hailey, a straight woman who was only

offering friendship.

“Do you think you’d be interested in having dinner with me

Friday night?” Marci asked out of the blue.

“I’d love to, and I applaud you for jumping out there and

asking me because I was sitting here trying to muster the courage

to do the same.”

“Well, you accepted, so you jumped out there, too.” She

clinked her glass with mine.

“Do you like seafood?” Marci asked.

“Love it.”

“I know a great place that I think you’ll enjoy then. Do you

want to meet somewhere or are you comfortable with me picking

you up?”

I answered by swiping a pen from the bar and jotting my

address on a napkin along with my phone number.

“I wanna ask you something,” Marci said as she stuffed the

napkin into her purse. “Why did you pick the name Pitifully

Ugly? I think you’re really cute.”

“Thanks,” I said with a smile. “This is going to sound

pathetic,” I began as I wiped the moisture from my glass. “I felt

pitifully ugly the night I made my profile. I’d just come home

from a nightmare date that my sister set me up on, and I knew if

I didn’t put something out then, I’d never do it.”

“I’m glad you did,” Marci said with a shy smile. “You’re the

nicest person I’ve met in the Rainbow Room.”

“Have you been on many dates since joining?”

Marci held up three fingers as she took a sip of her drink.

“The last was with Charity, and I almost gave up.”

I nodded and laughed. “I met her for coffee, and I almost

threw in the towel myself.”

Marci held up her glass in toast again. “Here’s to not giving up.”

Pitifully Ugly

I clinked my glass with hers and made a toast of my own.

“And to Charity, may she find someone just like her…or worse.”

Marci met my glass with hers and laughed. “We’re gonna

have to quit toasting, or I may have to take a cab home.”

“Ah, I see you’re as wimpy as I am when it comes to alcohol.” I

wasn’t tipsy, but I was pretty sure my next drink would be water.

“We could ask for a table and get something to eat and absorb

all that we’ve been drinking if you’d like,” Marci offered.

We ended up having a late dinner and joked that Friday night

would have to be considered a second date since we’d shared

a meal. After we ate, Marci gave me a ride to my car that was

parked a block away. “I had a great time, and I’m really looking

forward to Friday,” I told her as she pulled up to the curb. And

since it was a night for jumping out there, I leaned over and gave