Cora Carmack: Seeking Her

I swear to God she was like a siren. That’s why no one could say no to her.

“I want you, too. But you have no idea how many lines I’d be crossing, even if you were sober.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I’m getting you ready for bed, and then I’m saying good night.”

“Then get me ready for bed.”

She took my hand and placed it on her hip, where her swimsuit bottoms still rested. Needing to be done with this, I hooked my fingers under the fabric and pulled. I kept my eyes on the ceiling as I slipped the bottoms down her legs and past her feet. Then I pulled the blankets all the way up to her chin.

She caught my hand before I could pull away, holding it close to her face. My heart lurched.

“Don’t go.”

I smoothed a hand across my jaw.

“I have to. This isn’t a good idea.”

“I don’t want to wake up alone. If I don’t remember . . . I’ll . . . it will kill me. You don’t know . . .”

There was that mystery again. That glimpse of something that she wasn’t telling me, that she didn’t show anyone. That thing I couldn’t push to untangle no matter how tempted I was.

“Jackson, please.”

I couldn’t say no to her.

“Okay. Just . . . just give me a second.”

In the bathroom, I shucked off my own wet swim trunks in favor of some gym shorts. I looked in the mirror, but then wished I hadn’t.

I looked rough.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was that tonight I’d undone a year of hard work and commitment.

Either way, I was more worried about Kelsey than I was about me.

I would survive. That was what I did . . . against all odds. And somehow I knew that I wouldn’t relapse after that one drink, not when it could impair my ability to take care of her .

There was a sickening, sinking feeling in my gut that unraveled into theories about Kelsey and her past, and I wanted to punch something just so I didn’t have to think about it anymore.

Whatever had happened to her, there was more to Kelsey Summer’s story. There was a reason my drawings of her only worked when she looked sad.

Back in the room, I turned off the lamp beside the bed and settled down in the chair to sleep for the night.

I didn’t know Kelsey Summers. But I wanted to. If she would open up, if she would let me. I was a little afraid to admit how much I wanted from her.

Ten minutes after Kelsey fell asleep, my phone buzzed. Kelsey’s father.

No matter what I wanted, I was the last person in the world she should trust.

CORA CARMACK is a twenty-­something writer who likes to write about twenty-­something characters. She’s done a multitude of things in her life—­retail, theatre, teaching, and writing. She loves theatre, travel, and anything that makes her laugh. She enjoys placing her characters in the most awkward situations possible, and then trying to help them get a boyfriend out of it. Awkward ­people need love, too.

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Seeking Her

Finding It

Keeping Her (novella)

Faking It

Losing It