Non Pratt - Trouble

2nd scan all ok — no idea if boy or grl, had its legs Xed! Thought ud like to no. Hx

She’s right. I do like to know.

I’m starting to lose my rag over what to wear tonight. I haven’t been out — to the park, to the cinema, to a club, anywhere — since the start of the year and it turns out that all my decent clothes now make me look fat. I know, I’m pregnant and my body’s got to make space for the other person inside me, blah blah blah, but I don’t look pregnant. I just look fat. And my best bra’s starting to dig in, which isn’t improving things.

There’s a pile of clothes on the floor and I want to jump up and down on them and scream, only I’m worried Mum’ll hear and I don’t want her to know. Her answer will be to look at those stupid magazines and suggest I try some of the frumpy bump-friendly fashion that I would only wear if I had a brain transplant. I feel like there’s something wrong with me — I’m supposed to want to be a different person now that I’ve been sperminated, but I don’t . I want to be Hannah, just pregnanter. What’s so wrong with still wanting to look good? With wanting to show off my new improved pregnancy curves in push-up bras and clothes that look teen not tragic? I want people to think Hannah before they think pregnant .

I don’t even know why I’m bothering. It’s only a trip to the cinema with Gideon, Anj and Aaron. Those guys don’t care if I turn up in leggings and a hoodie.

Somehow that thought depresses me even more.

I don’t want to be the only one who cares what I look like.

Inevitably, I’m the first there. This comes from my father’s innate love of punctuality — which also means that instead of letting me wait for the others in the warm car, he ushers me out as fast as possible so that he can get back home on schedule. He is unsympathetic to the fact that his son has come out without a coat and may well die from hypothermia.

“Your mother and I thought you were capable of dressing responsibly by now.”

And with that, he raises his eyebrows and makes a “hurry up” gesture.

This is the first time I’ve been to the cinema since we moved and I peer into the foyer, wondering whether they sell hot drinks in addition to unseasonable ice cream and slushies. There’s a rush of footsteps behind me and I half turn, ready for trouble, but it’s only an exuberant Gideon, who slams gloved hands on my shoulders and delivers an unnecessary “Boo!”

Anj walks up behind him, looking at her phone.

“She just got a text,” Gideon explains.

“Hannah?” I ask, wondering if Anj got the same text I did about her running late.

“Someone far more exciting…” Gideon snatches the phone, handing it to me as he shouts, “Translate it!” before clamping his arms round a frantic Anj.

It’s in Spanish and I catch the gist before Anj breaks free with a scream and grabs it back, blushing furiously.

“How much did you get?” she says, not meeting my eye as she deletes the message.

“Not much,” I lie. The text contained some distinctly extra-curricular phrases from someone called Felipe. Gideon looks disappointed and I stage-whisper that I’ll tell him later, which causes a bit of a slapping storm between the three of us until it suddenly loses wind. Anj avoids our stares when we turn to look at her.

“So I got a bit carried away with my Spanish penpal.” She glances up and blushes even more. “What?! He’s totally hot. You would.” She nods at Gideon.

“I demand evidence.”

Sighing, Anj opens up Facebook, scrolls down her friends list to Felipe Montes and clicks on his profile. I try unsuccessfully to ignore Gideon as he makes gagging gestures behind Anj’s back, for which he receives a flick on the forehead. When Anj clicks back to her friends list I see a Jason Sheppard listed there.

“Is that Hannah’s stepbrother?” I point, curious.

“Mmm… Jay,” Gideon says, dreamily.

Anj nods. “I’ll second that. In fact, I’ll call shotgun.”

“You mean dibs.”

“That too.” Anj turns to me to explain. “Jay is the most gorgeous person in the whole of this town.”

His profile picture doesn’t look anything out of the ordinary to me.

“I demand evidence.”

The pair of them smile as Anj opens up a page of his photos and Gideon says, “Hottest guy in town. Fact.”

“I thought I was number one?” I joke.

Gideon feigns thought before delivering a dismissive pat on my arm. “You come a close second.”

“For the purposes of reining in your ego, Aaron Tyler, I feel I should inform you that you most certainly do not rank second on my list of hotties,” Anj says as she jabs at the screen, trying to find a suitably pleasing picture of Jay. “No offence.”

Which makes me laugh.

I look at the picture she’s found, but I’m not sure I see what these two can.

“Man, he is fit,” Gideon mutters.

“He is a fit man all right.” And Anj lets out a lovelorn sigh.

“Really?” I shake my head. Outraged into action, Gideon grabs the phone to hunt for a more convincing picture. He’s flicking through when I see something. “Hang on a sec, go back.”

The girl on the screen looks beautiful, dark hair swishing around her shoulders as she raises a bottle to the person behind the camera. She’s standing next to Katie Coleman, who does not look anything approaching beautiful.

“Hannah looks stunning!” Anj says and we all lean a touch closer to see if we’re seeing it right. Normally Hannah wears very little clothing and a lot of make-up when she goes out, but in this photo she’s wearing a good amount of both. I scroll through a couple more photos taken on the same night — “A proper send off” the album’s called — and find one with Hannah and Jay. The two of them aren’t looking at the camera — it’s an action shot of them dancing and they’re completely natural. They look good together. Put him next to hot Hannah and I can suddenly see what Anj and Gideon mean about Jason Sheppard.

“Hello?” A hand swooshes in front of the screen and we all look up.

Aaron, Anj and Gideon all give me equally blank looks and for a second I panic that I was never really invited out in the first place. Until I remember that I was the one that did the inviting.

“What?” They’re still looking at me. Maybe I’ve overdone it on the eyeshadow…

“I was just showing Aaron photos of your fit stepbrother,” Anj says with a grin. “You know, the one I’ve crushed on since for ever. His leaving party looks like a night to remember.”

“It was,” I say and summon up a smile.

We move inside and I hold the door open, letting Gideon and Anj through, followed by Hannah. There’s a distant look in her eyes as if her mind is in a different time and place and I wonder what she’s thinking about. I think we creeped her out with how odd we were about Jay’s Facebook photos. It’s hard to explain that we acted like that because we’d just been re-evaluating Hannah’s hotness.

Whilst Gideon and Anj get snacks I wait for Hannah by the ticket machine, subtly checking her out as she frowns at the screen. Whatever effort she put into this outfit — a lot given the way it hides her middle yet shows off the shape of her bum and legs — it’s less try-hard than anything she ever wore to the park.

It looks good.

When I turn away from the machine I catch Aaron looking at me.

“What?” I’m sick of this. What is it with these guys tonight?