Tymber Dalton - The Reluctant Dom

“She okay?”

Seth shook his head. “Playroom code is 1218. Can you bring me a crop, please?”

“Moderate or severe?”

“Moderate.”

Tony left. Seth didn’t have time or energy to consider how truly freaky that conversation was.

Tony returned a moment later with a suitable crop. Leah was curled on her side, still clutching Kaden’s pillow. Seth didn’t even care that Tony could see her naked from the waist down. Seth knelt next to her. “Love, do you need to feel the bite?” he whispered.

She didn’t respond, just closed her eyes.

He looked at Tony, who nodded.

Seth took a deep breath. “Love,” he said sternly, “do you need to feel the bite?”

After a long moment, she nodded.

Seth didn’t have a good angle and carefully lined up his strokes. A paddle would be easier to manage under the circumstances, but Seth didn’t think he could stand the sound.

The crop was quieter. And harsher.

He kept one hand on her waist and laid a stroke across her ass. She didn’t flinch.

Seth continued, a set of ten as hard as he could manage. At the end he curled around her. “Love, we need to do this. Where are we?”

An agonizingly long moment later she whispered, “Green, Master.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Set of twenty, love.”

“Twenty, Master.”

He closed his eyes and swallowed his sob. He got back onto his knees on the bed. “Count.” He put as much force behind the swing as he could, then waited.

After nearly a minute she whispered, “One, Master.”

“Very good, love.”

It took them twenty minutes to get through the set. But she was talking.

And she cried.

If you could call screaming at the top of your lungs and begging to die crying.

Even Ed and Tony looked near tears.

After an hour she settled down again, glassy-eyed and staring. Ed motioned to Seth, calling him into the hallway.

“Why don’t I call her doctor?”

Seth shook his head. “No. Not yet. She has to deal with it now or later. If we dope her up, she’ll still have to deal with it. I don’t want to resort to that unless she tries to hurt herself.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” He stared through the doorway to the bed. She wouldn’t let go of Kaden’s pillow, hadn’t released it.

By that night, he’d managed to get her to go to the bathroom without assistance, although he stood next to her. He took a shower with her, shaved her legs for her, got her to swallow some lukewarm chicken broth and Ensure along with some water.

Tony and Ed both spent the night again and took turns standing watch so Seth could sleep.

The next morning, Seth panicked when he awoke and Leah wasn’t in bed with him. Neither Ed nor Tony were in the chair in the corner.

He heard voices in the kitchen and raced out there. Leah sat at the counter, the glassy stare on her face. Ed stood behind her while Tony cooked. She had a cup of coffee on the counter in front of her, but it didn’t look like she’d drank any.

Seth touched her arm. “Sweetie, are you okay?”

Eventually she slowly swiveled her head to look at him. Huge tears rolled down her cheeks. “He’s gone,” she whispered. “I got up to look for him and he’s gone.”

He pulled her into his arms. “I know, babe. I’m so sorry.”

“He’s gone, Seth. I couldn’t find him.”

He looked over her head at Ed.

“She got up an hour ago,” he whispered. “We didn’t want to wake you. I woke Tony up, and we followed her around the house. She went outside, wandered around, then came back inside and just walked around for a while. She finally sat down here and wouldn’t talk to us. We figured we should let you sleep.”

“Can I go with him?” she asked. “Please, Seth, I want to be with him.” The dead tone of her whisper filled him with fear.

He held her tighter, glancing over to the counter. Tony or Ed had apparently hidden the knives from the butcher’s block. “We promised Kade, love. You can’t leave me. You promised him.”

She shuddered. He scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He gave her a set of twenty and held her while she sobbed against him.

After she went back to sleep, Ed quietly walked in and handed him another index card.

2 - Aftermath

Keep her crying. Keep her breathing. Don’t let her out of your sight, and don’t let her get dehydrated. If she asks to kill herself, remind her of her promise. I know I don’t need to tell you not to let her do it. Use whatever you can to keep her with you. Even if you have to play dirty and make shit up, whatever. Tell her I’m ordering her to stay with you and serve you. I have faith in you. You are the only one who can keep her safe, buddy. I know you don’t want to dope her up, but if you have to, I understand. You are there and I’m not, and I know you’ll do whatever she needs.

Seth cried as he handed the card back to Ed. He handed Seth another one.

3 - Arrangements

Ed will take care of everything. All you need to do is, when he tells you, get her dressed in the outfit in the closet, the one in the garment bag. I already put it together for you. Shoes, everything. Let her keep her formal collar on, the neckline on the shirt will hide it. She’ll feel better. It will be held five days after I’m gone, so you’ve got that much time to get her vertical again. I imagine we’re on day two at this point. When you get a moment, when she’s sound asleep, let Tony watch her, and Ed has something he needs to let you see.

Seth returned the card and studied her. Sound asleep. He nodded and carefully got out of bed. Tony, carrying a book, walked in and settled in the chair again.

Ed led Seth to the study and quietly closed the door. Kaden’s computer was on, and the DVD program was up.

Before he clicked the mouse he looked at Seth. “I’m warning you now, he’s left quite a few. For you to watch. He has a couple for her, but most of them are for you.”

Seth nodded.

Ed hit play before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.

Kaden had obviously recorded this early on, because he looked good, healthy.

“Hey, buddy.” Kaden smiled. It looked like he’d filmed it with his webcam here at the desk, in this chair. “I know, this sucks. I’m sorry I’m dumping this on you. Up front, I love you, man. I know you love me. I know she loves me, and believe me, I love her…”

Twenty minutes later, Seth opened the door. He’d cried buckets of tears but felt a little better. While watching Kaden waste away over the past several months had been horrible, and his twinge of relief at his friend’s release from his pain filled him with guilt, his overwhelming grief and loss had been at the forefront of his mind.

But Kaden was still there taking care of them in many ways. He had, in typical Kaden control freak fashion, literally arranged every last detail.

Seth felt even more guilt that he didn’t have to do anything but take care of Leah. Kaden had assured him on the DVD that it was supposed to be his only task right now, but that didn’t assuage him. Shouldn’t he be in charge and taking care of things?

As it was, he had all he could do to keep from agreeing with Leah that dying looked like a damn good option.

Kaden had even anticipated that in his message to him.

Damn, he was spooky.

He gave Seth several suggestions on how to keep her focused, how to keep her feeling, subtle things Seth could do to keep her alive.

Seth returned to Leah’s side and napped until late afternoon.

The phone calls started that evening as people learned of Kaden’s passing. The phone ringer was turned down low, and Helen came over to answer it, giving Tony and Ed a respite. By day four, Leah would speak in short, simple sentences. She’d also stopped asking Seth to let her die.