Kristen Ashley - Breathe

He put not slight pressure on her entire body, his arms tightening, his frame pressing her into the door, his face getting close and he growled, “Right then, here’s one that isn’t mixed. Do not call me Detective Keaton. To you, I… am… Chace .”

“Oh…” she breathed then kept breathing when she finished, “kay.”

“Okay what?” he prompted.

“Okay, Chace,” she whispered immediately.

“Good,” he kept growling, “we got that down. Now we’ll get this straight and not mixed. You know my shit’s fucked up. I’m workin’ on that. You popped up with bad timing once and surprised me another time. I didn’t handle either of those well. The shit I’m workin’ through, I cannot promise I’ll do any better. What I can promise is I like the way you dress. I like the sound of your voice. I like the way you smell. I like that your hair feels the way it looks, like silk. I like the way you taste. I like that you got a backbone. I like it when you get scared of me. I like it when you stand up to me. I like it that you care as much as you do for a kid you don’t know jack about. I like it that you have no clue how to kiss but still, the two kisses I’ve shared with you are the best I’ve ever had. By far. I like all of that more than is healthy for me but especially for you. But I like it so much, I’m gonna ignore that and hope like fuck this doesn’t get jacked like everything else in my life has a tendency to do. I like it so much I’m willin’ to take that risk. I like it so much that I’ve decided you’re gonna take that risk with me. And I’ll make that straight too. I’m not asking you to take that risk, I’m tellin’ you you’re doin’ it. That means I’ll be at your place at seven with pizza, beer, a sleeping bag and food for our kid.”

He moved infinitesimally so his mouth was a breath away from hers and he could smell her gum. The look on her face, the feel of her in his arms and the smell of her gum cut clean through him like it always did.

Then he finished but he did it on a whisper.

“Now, baby, are we straight?”

“Yes,” she whispered back, proving, after his caveman speech the baby thing worked fucking great.

“Good,” he muttered, fighting a grin.

“I don’t like beer,” she announced quietly.

“What do you like?”

“Wine.”

“What kind?”

“With pizza?”

“Yeah.”

“Red.”

“Dry or sweet?”

“Dry.”

“You got it, honey.”

The tip of her tongue came out to wet her bottom lip, his lips were so close it grazed his and when she tasted him, her body gave a soft jolt and her tongue disappeared. But it was too late, he felt that score through him and pressed her deeper into the door.

Her fingers curled into his jacket and she went on in a whisper, “I don’t like pineapple on pizza.”

“Works for me because I don’t either.”

“Okay.” She kept whispering, bit her lip, let it go and admitted, “You’re kinda freaking me out.”

“Good.”

She blinked again and her voice was pitched a half octave higher when she asked, “Good?”

“Faye, darlin’, you’re on your game, I’m fucked. I keep you off-balance, I got the upper hand. What I can tell, with you, I’m gonna need the upper hand.”

“I, uh… that sounds… um… are you sure that in a, uh…” she stammered exposing something he already knew, that she had absolutely no clue how to play a man, the game or be in a relationship and that was cute and hot too. She finally finished, “That doesn’t sound good.”

“My job in that is to make it good for you.”

“Oh,” she breathed and he again fought a grin.

Then he asked, “You get that?”

“No,” she admitted softly.

She didn’t, he knew it and that was also cute and hot.

“You will,” he muttered.

“All right,” she muttered back.

“Seven,” he stated.

“Seven,” she agreed, nodding once.

“I gotta go.”

“Okay.”

“Before I go, give me that mouth,” he ordered and watched her eyes get wide.

Cute.

Hot.

“Pardon?”

“Baby,” he whispered. “Before I go, I want your mouth.”

He felt her tremble in his arms. Then he felt her body slide up his as she came up on her toes.

Then she gave him her mouth.

Chace took it and kept doing it until it was close to out-of-control. Only then did he stop, lift his lips, kiss her nose and step back. He pulled her from the door and held her loosely until he knew she was steady on her feet. Then he gave her stunned, soft, pretty, turned on face a smile before he walked away, not looking back.

I waited until the afternoon when my Tuesday volunteer, Mrs. Bagley came in to help out before I went to my office and grabbed my cell phone.

I’d spent all morning trying to decide who to call. I was closest to Lexie and knew her the longest but she’d made it clear she wanted me to try things with Chace so I didn’t think she could be objective. Krystal could maybe be objective but I wasn’t sure about that. She seemed kind of hard, not to mention, even though I knew deep down she was good people, she frequently scared me. I didn’t know the rest of the posse enough to share.

This left Lauren.

But choosing Lauren wasn’t a process of elimination so much as her being the best choice.

I didn’t know what it was but there was just something about her that was special. Something that made you know she’d have your best interests at heart. Listen. Advise thoughtfully. She was more mature, experienced. It wasn’t that Lexie and Krystal weren’t all that but they were more opinionated.

I needed someone to really listen and after they did, advise.

In the end, I was pleased to know I chose well and made note of it for (hopefully) future counseling sessions as things (hopefully) moved forward with Chace.

When I called her, I could hear the bar sounds in the background but when I asked her if she had time to chat, I heard them fade then go clean away after she said yes.

So I told her everything to the minutest detail that happened between Chace and me. And it was fair to say I remembered the minutest detail.

Through this, she listened.

When I was done, I asked quietly, “Well?”

“Was there a question, honey?” she asked quietly back.

“Yes,” I told her. “Should I have pizza with Chace?”

There was humor in her voice when she replied, “I thought that wasn’t exactly a choice.”

“It wasn’t then ,” I replied. “When he was pressed up against me after kissing me and being all… I don’t know… intense and growly and manly and saying nice thing after nice thing all, well… intense, growly and manly which made him sound like he really, really meant them. At the same time acting like the alpha male who just beat the rest of the world’s alpha males in hand to hand combat and after had climbed up a mountain of their carcasses and was thumping his chest and grunting, ‘Faye, my woman!’ It’s hard to say no then. Now , when he’s not around, I’m remembering all the times he didn’t say nice things and I’m reconsidering.”

Lauren burst out laughing.

I had to admit it was kinda funny.

At the time, it was also more than kinda hot.

But, because of the last part, I didn’t laugh because that was more than kinda scary.

I did wait for her to finish before I whispered, “Laurie, he kinda freaks me out.”

“Yeah, Faye, honey, I get that,” she whispered back then went on in a gentle voice. “I also get why. I’ll tell you this, a girl is any kind of girl to you, she’ll have your back. She’ll listen and she’ll give advice and she’ll do her best to do well at both. But what you have to get is that the only advice she can give is from experiencing her own dramas or listening to her other girlfriends’ dramas and watching them play out. In the end though, your girl and her friends are not you and the men in their lives are not Chace. So you have to learn something difficult. How to pay attention, think, read signs at the same time listen to your heart. Sometimes, these can be contradictory and that’s where your girls can help. But, in the end, you have to pay attention to all of that, make your decision, do whatever you have to do and if your girl’s any kind of girl, she’ll have your back then too. No matter what happens.”