Kristen Ashley - For You

“Yeah, I gotta get back,” Dee repeated.

“You said that,” Jessie told her.

“All right, guys,” I cut in, “eyes on me.” When they turned me, I went on. “You have to swear, I tell you this, you keep it a secret, no one, no husbands, no friends, no parents, no sisters, you tell no one, not until nine o’clock tomorrow morning. Got me?”

Their faces had all changed, gone curious and expectant. They were getting used to a February Owens who shared and I found they liked it a whole lot. Since they did, I also found I did it a whole lot more.

“Colt asked you to marry him,” Mimi breathed her very wrong guess.

“Hallelujah!” Dee shouted before I could confirm or, more accurately, deny.

“I get to be Matron of Honor!” Jessie screeched.

Before I could say word one, Mimi turned to her and demanded to know, “Why do you get to be Matron of Honor?”

“I found her first,” Jessie said to Mimi.

“So? You got to be my Matron of Honor and Feb got to be your Maid of Honor and that means I get to be Feb’s Matron of Honor,” Mimi returned.

“Guys,” I tried to interrupt.

Jessie ignored me and said to Mimi, “Yeah, but I still found her first.”

“What you’re sayin’ is, I’m forty-two years old and I’m gonna die not bein’ anyone’s Matron of Honor?” Mimi retorted.

“Guys,” I repeated.

“It ain’t all it’s cracked up to be,” Jessie told her.

“Yeah, so, why you want it so bad?” Meems shot back.

“Guys!” I shouted. “Colt didn’t ask me to marry him. I’m pregnant!”

Everyone’s gaze came to me then they froze.

“What’d you say?” Dee whispered.

“I’m ten weeks pregnant.”

They all stared at me then Meems burst into tears, came forward and yanked me out of my chair and into her arms. Then I felt Jessie get close then Dee, everyone holding onto everyone and Jessie and Dee jumping up and down a bit.

I felt their jumps, their arms, their tears that were now coming through laughter and I suddenly wondered what Angie would have done, she’d lived to see this day. Angie, who knew how I felt about Colt before anyone because I’d confided it to her when we were eleven. Angie, who’d called me and patched things up the minute she heard Colt took me on our first date.

Angie’s life may have worn her down before it was snuffed out but I reckon this news would have lightened the load more than a little even if for just a short time. I didn’t know what to do with that knowledge so, like a lot of shit, I set it aside until there came a quiet time where I could give it to Colt, he could give me a squeeze or a kiss or do something else that only he had the magical power to do and the pain of it would melt away.

They pulled back but all of them kept a hand on me.

“Colt doesn’t know?” Jessie asked.

I shook my head. “We’re goin’ to Costa’s tonight.”

“Perfect,” Dee whispered, tears still shining in her eyes.

“Yeah,” I whispered back, looking at Dee then at Jessie then at Meems, feeling their touch light on me, seeing the wet glistening on their cheeks, their smiles full of joy for me, for Colt, for our future, a future that was bright and I finished with, “Perfect.”

“Thanks for doin’ this,” Colt said to Cheryl as they walked up the front walk to Ned’s house.

“No worries,” Cheryl replied, her eyes on the door.

She’d cut her hair shorter so it just brushed her shoulders. She also regularly wore mini-skirts and high-heeled shoes even working at the bar. Both were her style and both looked good on her. So good, Feb said that Cheryl told her tips at J&J’s were better than her tips stripping. This probably had something to do with the fact that J&J’s was busier than ever seeing as it now was infamously famous and also seeing that neither Feb nor Cheryl were hard to look at, which meant the standard clientele had upped substantially.

“How’s Ethan gettin’ on in his new school?” Colt asked.

So she didn’t have to drive to town from Indy and also drive back in the dead of morning Cheryl had moved into Morrie’s apartment with Jack and Jackie who spent most of their time at Morrie and Dee’s or J&J’s anyway, often looking after Ethan along the way.

“Likin’ it, made some friends, has play dates, friends sleepin’ over, sleepin’ over at friends. He’s at a play date now,” she replied then her neck twisted and she pressed her lips together before she stopped on the front stoop and looked up at Colt. “Moms here know me as workin’ at J&J’s, not a strip club. Got no problem, their kid hangin’ with someone whose Mom works at J&J’s. Back then… well, goes without sayin’, a stripper’s house isn’t the popular choice for a play date.”

“That’s good,” Colt said quietly.

“Yeah, it is,” Cheryl said readily and looked him straight in the eye. “You ain’t gonna like hearin’ this but I gotta say it and I’ll only say it once, yeah?”

Colt figured she was right; he wouldn’t like hearing what she had to say. He’d discovered that when Cheryl wasn’t guarded, and even when she was, she was a straight talker. She was usually pretty cautious with this around Feb, Colt, Morrie, Dee, Ruthie, Jack, Jackie and Darryl, mostly because she liked them all and never guarded against showing that. But she didn’t hesitate unleashing her straight talk on customers. Feb said it was a good trait to have working at a bar but then again, Feb took one look at Cheryl, who’d come into the bar with her son Ethan, and a half second later Feb planted Cheryl firmly under her wing just as Colt suspected she would. Colt figured Cheryl could do just about anything and Feb would accept it.

“Yeah?” Colt prompted, wanting to get it over with, whatever it was.

“He was a crazy, fucked up mess and he did awful shit but, in a way, he led me out of a trap I couldn’t find my way out of and probably never would. I ain’t grateful to him, I’m grateful to you, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s what brought me here.”

“You brought yourself here,” Colt told her, not giving Denny an inch, no credit, not for any of the good shit that he’d been the undeniable catalyst for kicking off. That sick ass didn’t deserve any and Colt was firmly of the belief that eventually, somehow, for everyone, even Cheryl, it would have all found its way to good without Denny. “You could have made a different decision.”

She just looked at him and remarked, “Not real good at acceptin’ gratitude, are you, Colt?”

Colt gave it back to her straight. “Not real good at talkin’ about Denny Lowe.”

She nodded in understanding. “Like I said, just this once, no more.”

Before Colt could say anything else, Jackie opened the door.

“Get in here quick,” Jackie said, pushing open the screen. “They’re asleep, miracle I got them both down. We time it right, Colt and I can be done and back before they wake up.”

“It’s cool, Jackie, Ethan was a handful, got up to more than three kids. I can handle it,” Cheryl told her, pushing in.

Jackie gave Colt a look that spoke volumes about Ned’s now motherless children and she showed Cheryl around the house, giving instructions as they went. They put their heads into the kids’ room and as all this was happening Colt waited in the living room. When they came back, Jackie and Colt said good-bye to Cheryl and Colt led Jackie to his truck.

When they were on their way, Jackie took in a breath and asked, “You talk to Susie?”

Colt didn’t want to think about Susie. Darryl, Phy, Marty and Joe-Bob’s kids had all handled what happened remarkably well, throwing no blame, which was good since only blame could be settled was on a dead man so it was a waste of emotion. Melanie had been a wreck which wasn’t a surprise. She was in counseling and Colt checked on her a couple of times a week, mostly because Feb nagged him to do so, though if she hadn’t, he still would have done it just maybe not as often. Melanie had been off work for awhile but had finally gone back. She was pulling herself together, she was doing it slowly, which was her way, but at least she was doing it.