M. Leighton - Some Like It Wild

“Damn, Jenna, take a breath. And hush that loud mouth of yours,” I say in a quieter voice. “They’ll be here any minute.”

“What does it matter if they hear me? If you weren’t planning on asking—”

I clamp my hand over her mouth and growl into her ear. “Fine, you’re right. Now would you shut the hell up?”

Squealing even louder, Jenna bounces up and down, clapping her hands excitedly. “Yaaay! I’m gonna have a sisterrr!”

“Jenna, shhh,” I hiss. But I can’t really get mad at her. I feel a lot like that on the inside. Just more nervous. And, truth be told, I’m not nearly as nervous about Mr. Holt saying no as I am about Laney saying no. Although she’s opened up and loosened up a ton since we met, her still waters run very deep. She’s never said she has any reservations about me or us, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t harboring any. And there’s no time like a proposal to make you start considering all things, weighing all things. Seeing things from all angles. Seeing all the rough edges.

For me, the thought of spending the rest of my life with Laney makes me happy. Happier than I’ve ever been. She’s what I want out of life. And I’m more certain of it with every passing day. With time, rather than finding things I don’t like or things that drive me crazy, I think I love her more. And the more I find out about her, the more I find to love.

I hear Einstein barking and my pulse speeds up. Jenna looks at me with wide eyes and whispers, “He’s here.”

I’m sure it is Mr. Holt. I purposely told him and his wife a slightly earlier time than anyone else. I knew I’d want to get it over with rather than worrying about it the whole time.

I take a deep breath and look at my beaming sister. “Wish me luck.”

Her eyes start to water when she responds. “You won’t need it. I’ve always believed you deserved all the happiness in the world, even when you didn’t.”

I pause on my way to the door, looking back at my sister. “Jenna, I . . .” I don’t even know what to say to her, how to explain what I’m feeling. “I love you.”

In all our years together, I’ve never told her that. I hope that she realizes the significance, even if she doesn’t fully understand it. I want her to know that she means a lot to me, whether I’ve ever shown it or not.

“I know,” she breathes, shakily. “I’m just glad you let go of whatever it was that’s been holding you back all these years. I won’t pretend to get it, but I’m glad you’re not hiding from it anymore. You deserve better than that.”

Impulsively, I walk back to her and kiss her cheek. “Now don’t say anything to embarrass me, and for the love of all that’s holy, watch your trashy mouth.”

Jenna sniffs loudly and tosses her hair over her shoulder. “I stop cussing for no one.” I give her my sternest look. She sighs and smiles sweetly. “Except for you. Just this once.”

“Better. Now, go make yourself scarce. I’ve got some charming to do.”

She probably doesn’t think I hear her whisper as I leave the room, but I do.

“Go get ’em, Jake.”

So I do.

My pocket feels heavy. I feel lopsided, like everything in me is leaning. Leaning and holding its breath.

I’ve never been more nervous. Yet I’ve never been more certain.

Over the last couple of months, Jake and I have talked about all sorts of things—our hopes and dreams, our fears and trials, our plans and timetables. Hearing him say that he wants the same things I want, one by one, has been the most amazing unfolding of my life. It’s like the dreams I’ve had since I was little were right on target, they were just missing one vital ingredient—the perfect man to tweak them just a tad.

Yes, I still want to get married. Yes, I still want to have a family. Yes, I still want a place to put down roots and call home. Yes, I still want a love that will grow better as we grow older. I still want all those things. But now, they have a face. All of them. They all revolve around Jake.

He took them and made them ours , not just mine. And he brought his own special brand of wild to them. Never have I wanted to travel and experience new things in life, but now I do. I want to take off to parts unknown and go cliff diving with Jake at my side. I want to parasail in warm Mediterranean waters and hang glide over rain forest treetops. I want to do it all. And then I want to come back home to the life we’ve built and sit in front of the fireplace on cold winter nights, and skinny-dip in the river on warm summer ones.

All my life was ever missing was Jake.

It all starts and ends with him.

I just hope that he feels the same way about me.

I’m always hoping . . .

I usher the Holts into my backyard. Jenna appears within seconds, wearing a huge smile. Mentally, I roll my eyes. She’s a shitty secret keeper!

“Can I get you two some lemonade?”

“That would be lovely,” Mrs. Holt says. Mr. Holt nods.

“This is my sister, Jenna. Jenna, Mr. and Mrs. Holt, Laney’s parents.”

“It’s a pleasure,” she says brightly, then disappears back inside to get the lemonade.

“Beautiful place you’ve got here. You’ve done a good job keeping it up after Cris passed,” Mr. Holt says. I’m sure, for someone like me, that’s his highest compliment.

“Thank you, sir. Would you like to walk the front of the orchard? It’s just right along the fence that circles the house.”

I can almost feel his sigh. “Sure.”

So enthused.

I tell him things he probably already knows as we walk from the backyard to the split-rail fence that borders the east portion of the orchard. When we stop there, I start to roll right into talk about the orchard operation, just to have something to say, but I stop myself. My patience was thin to begin with. This isn’t helping. So I just go for it.

“Mr. Holt, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

His pause is a long one. “What’s that?”

He turns and leans back against the fence, crossing his arms over his chest and narrowing his eyes on me. Anxiously, I chew the cinnamon toothpick between my teeth. Then, thinking he might see it as a sign of weakness—my nervousness—I take it out and throw it into the orchard.

“Look,” I say, running my fingers through my hair. “We both know I’ve never had the best of reputations in this town. And, in all fairness, I’ve earned most of what I’ve gotten. But I didn’t bring you here to try and explain away my past. I brought you here to talk to you about your daughter, Mr. Holt. And our future,” I say, letting my thoughts drift to Laney and all that she means to me. “The best way I can describe what Laney is to me is to say that she’s been like life . For reasons I won’t go into, I was never quite alive until I met her. I had no idea what I was missing until she came along. She loved me before I did one single thing to deserve it. And, although I don’t ever see myself being good enough for her, I can promise you one thing. I will love her and care for her better than anyone else on this earth. And that includes you. She’s everything good in me. She’s everything I could ever want. She’s everything I could ever hope to achieve in life. And I’ll spend my very last breath making sure she’s happy. There is no one else for me, sir.

“Laney gave me a chance when no one else would. She saw something in me that I didn’t even see in myself. I hope you can do the same. And, with your permission, I’d like to ask her to marry me.”

Now I’m just spent. If I weren’t waiting for an answer, and it wasn’t rude as all hell, I’d turn around and walk right back to the house and crack open a beer. But, as it is, my entire future is hanging in the balance, so I guess I’d better not.