Rachel Dyken: Fearless

“WHAT!” he roared.

I burst out laughing. Wow! I’d so needed that. Veins I didn’t even know existed popped up on Gabe’s forehead and neck. I took pity on him and winked “I’m kidding.”

“Hilarious.” He coughed a few times and then leaned over as though he had to catch his breath. “Never again Lisa, or swear I’m going to lock you up. Okay?”

“Um, okay?” I rubbed his back and winked at Saylor who was watching our exchange in amusement from her discussion with her mom over at the nurses’ station.

“So…” Gabe stood to his full height. “What’s really bothering you?”

“Nothing,” I lied, pasting a smile on my face. Everything was bothering me. Every damn thing. But it was stupid. I mean compared to everyone else’s drama, my little insecurity and inability to forget my shady past really wasn’t that big of a deal.

“Look…” Gabe lowered his voice and continued. “I know it’s hard, with Wes and Kiersten getting married, and me and Saylor…if you need to talk it’s totally fine and—”

“Holy crap, Gabe!” I smacked at him and stepped away. “Clearly I’m not acting like myself if you feel the need to go all therapist on my ass! Geez, I get that enough with Kiersten and Wes. Do you even realize how hard it is hanging out with those two constantly bugging me?”

Gabe narrowed his eyes. “Um yeah? I was their target for a whole year, remember?”

“It’s not that.” I crossed my arms. “I think I’m just exhausted from school and stuff. Maybe I need a vacation.”

“So go on vacation.” He made it sound so easy so simple.

“By myself?” I whispered and rolled my eyes. “Sounds like loads of fun.”

“Take the girls.”

“Honeymoon.”

“Are you just going to reject every awesome idea I have?” Gabe countered.

“No.” I scratched my head. “You know what, yeah, a vacation. Maybe I’ll do that. Um, I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

I strolled away from him as fast as my black heels would take me. Each step helped me breathe a little easier. Maybe that was it. Their happiness was suffocating me or something.

Hands shaking, I stabbed the elevator button and quickly got in.

The elevator made it all the way to the second floor then started shaking. The lights flickered and the little alarm went off.

Trying not to panic, I counted to three and then pressed the main lobby button again.

Nothing.

A voice came over the intercom. “Sorry ma’am, minor electrical issue. We’ll have you out in no time.”

Shit!

The last time I had been stuck in an elevator, things had not ended well. Honest moment, things hadn’t started well either, but still…

Was this how God was repaying me? Karma was a bitch.

I went over to the corner and closed my eyes. I tried to hum a song, then I checked my cell phone. Of course no service. Naturally. Where the hell was that nerdy little man in those cell phone commercials saying “Can you hear me now?” NO man with black glasses and way too many friends, I can’t freaking hear you and if I don’t get out of this tiny little shoebox of death I’m going to freak the EF OUT! Swear it felt like the walls of my throat were closing in right along with the walls of the elevator. I punched the wall above the control panel, right because punching things always made them work. I’d karate chop its ass and take the chance of slicing my hand up if I knew it would work.

Struggling for my next breath, I smacked the elevator door around five times, making my hand sting like crazy. When the elevator still didn’t budge, I slowly sank to my knees and let out a little sob.

It wasn’t the elevator.

It wasn’t even the wedding or Gabe.

It was me.

I was the problem. I was always the problem…

He had peppermint-flavored gum—I could still taste it. I coughed a bit and then gagged—crap I was going to puke.

The darkness was the worse—not being able to really see him that well since the electricity was out—but knowing he was touching me, feeling his hands on my hips as they slid across my skin.

Shivering, I continued holding my knees and squeezed my eyes shut as his laughter penetrated into my soul.

I hated him…

Hated him so much it made me want to scream—how do you even hate someone who doesn’t exist anymore?

Yet there I was in a stupid elevator, rocking back and forth like a lunatic.

“Ma’am, just a few more minutes.” Someone said over the speaker.

I didn’t trust myself to speak.

Minutes later, the elevator jolted to the lobby floor and the doors slid open. I got up off my butt and bolted for the main doors to the hospital. I was a bit impressed with my ability to run in high heels. Had Gabe seen me, he would have yelled that I was going to break my neck. Hah! No death for me. Because the last thing I wanted was to join… him in the afterlife.

Shivering, I started the car and made my way back towards campus. It was September, classes were starting that week, and I still hadn’t gotten my schedule together.

I parked by the student center and marched towards the doors, my high heels clicking against the pavement. I could do this. I was confident. I wasn’t Mel anymore. I was Lisa, a college student, free from my past, free from the memories of him, free from everything that held me back—that kept me in LA when it was slowly killing me inside.

Not really paying attention to anything except for walking and breathing at the same time, considering the whole elevator incident was hell on my frazzled nerves, I jerked open the door to the center and was nearly knocked on my ass by someone pushing the same door I was pulling.

I stumbled backwards. “Hey watch where you’re—”

“Mel?”

My entire body froze—instantly paralyzed with fear. It was one of those moments you experience when you’re a little kid and you hear a freaky noise down the hall. You’re so terrified you just—pause. All you can feel is your heart beating against your chest, and your own ragged breathing. Ginger and caramel colored hair, grey eyes—oh, God the eyes. Muscles lining every part of his body. Hulking shoulders. Hands, huge hands. My body shook at the memory of hands just like that, touching me, pushing me, hands I’d trusted—hands I’d at one time in my life—loved. The guy in front of me reached out, just as instinct kicked in.

I turned on those tall heels and ran like hell back towards my car. It took me four tries to get the key in the ignition. I sped out of the parking lot and turned in the direction of the dorms.

My body was still shaking by the time I pulled up in front of my place. I couldn’t call Kiersten. She’d just gotten married. Wes would kill me.

Gabe was already married so…did that mean he was fair game?

He’d kill me if I didn’t call him.

I chewed my lower lip and then finally, with trembling hands, dialed Gabe’s number.

“Hey, where’d you go?”

“He’s here.” My voice quivered. “He’s here, Gabe.”

“Who?”

“T-Taylor!”

“Sweetheart…” Gabe sighed. “He’s dead, remember?”

“No!” I hit the steering wheel. I wasn’t crazy. I knew what I’d seen— who I’d seen. I had seen the guy who ruined my life—who ended his own. I saw him! “I’m not crazy.”

Swearing, Gabe whispered into the phone, “Where are you?”

“The dorms.” I looked behind me just to make sure he hadn’t followed. Right, because it was totally possible for a human to chase a car two miles and actually arrive at the same time. Then again, ghosts could do just about anything right?

“I’ll be right there.”

“I’m going crazy.” Saying it out loud made it scarier. “Aren’t I?”