Gerri Hill - The Rainbow Cedar

"Drew?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think—?" But a pounding on the back door stopped her in mid-sentence. They looked at each other. "Oh, God, please say it's not them already."

"Drew? Jay? It's Eleu. Please open the door."

"Thank God," Jay said with relief. "We're not exactly dressed for a confrontation with Katherine and Jenna."

Drew pulled on her shorts but couldn't find the T-shirt they'd discarded last night. She did, however, find Jay's black bikini top, still a twisted mess. She tossed it to her with a smile. "Have you seen my shirt?"

"Drew?" Eleu called again from outside.

"Coming." She opened the closet and pulled out her bag, finding a clean shirt to slip on before opening the door. She greeted Eleu with a smile, not certain whether she should feel embarrassed or not to have Jay in her bed. But then she remembered the romantic dinner Eleu had left for them and decided she would be embarrassed if Jay weren't in her bed. "Good morning."

"Yes, yes. I'm sure it is. But it must come to an end." She looked around Drew and into the room. "Jay?"

"Yes. I'm sure you already know she's here."

Eleu laughed. "I had hoped, yes. But it is time. Katherine called. They are on the first shuttle of the morning. They will be here in time for breakfast."

Drew frowned. "How long?"

"Half hour, forty-five minutes. But we have time. Tell Jay to come, please. We must make your cottage presentable."

Drew ran her hands through her hair and sighed. "Great way to start the morning."

"It will be fine. And after the rooms are fixed, you two will take an early swim to clear your heads, even on a morning like today when there is rain in the air. Then you shall be ready for breakfast with the others. Come, we must not waste time."

Drew nodded. "I'll get Jay."

"I will begin clearing dinner."

Drew went back into the bedroom and closed the door, finding Jay already dressed. "You heard?"

"Yes. And an early morning swim sounds great." Jay came closer, moving into Drew's arms. "Because we need to talk."

Drew's arms tightened around her. Talk? What was there to talk about? She closed her eyes, feeling Jay's lips move across her face.

"Meet you out front?"

Drew nodded, watching Jay slip from the room.

"How does this look?" Eleu asked after she'd rumpled the sheets and comforter on Katherine's bed. She bent, pounding one of the pillows into shape. "Good?"

Jay nodded. "Yes. It'll work. But what about Drew's?"

"Milkea is there. She will change the sheets and pull out the sleeper sofa as Drew normally does. It will be fine."

Jay spun around. "Will it? Why are we doing this, Eleu? She and Jenna go off together, stay out all night. There are no questions from us. They're not even trying to hide it. Why the hell should we?"

Eleu came closer, grasping Jay's hands. "Because you are not them. And because you still care about other people's feelings. So we do this to keep peace." She smiled. "That is true, isn't it?"

"Yes, it's true." Jay laughed. "But I think it's just because you don't want to have a scene here and have your other guests talking about us."

"That is also true." Eleu released her hands. "Now, you will have your coffee like normal. And then you will both disappear, coming back just in time for breakfast. Yes?"

Jay nodded. "But it looks like rain."

"Yes. We had rain during the night. But you must go. If you stay here waiting, you will only feel guilty."

Jay shook her head. "No, I don't feel guilty. Not at all. But if I had to guess, I'd say you've done this sort of thing before."

Eleu laughed, a delightful sound on an otherwise dreary morning. "I have only done this once before. And surprisingly, it was also with two female couples."

Drew waited under a palm tree, watching for Jay. Amazingly, her cottage had been transformed in a matter of minutes: the bedroom tidied, sheets changed, sleeper sofa pulled open and made, then the sheets intentionally rumpled. She'd even had time for a shower.

And like Jay had said, she was exhausted, she was sore ... and she was as happy as she could remember being in many, many years. Happy. Yet sad.

Sad because, while nothing had really changed, everything had changed. How were they going to be able to sit down to breakfast with Katherine and Jenna and pretend they weren't now lovers? Pretend to keep their eyes off each other? And pretend they weren't dying to be alone? And sad because tonight, Jay would retire to her cottage with Katherine, would crawl into bed with Katherine, and would wake with her. And Drew? She'd be on her lumpy sofa, aching to have Jay beside her. And yet another day would pass.

And it would be another day wasted.

"Hey you."

She turned, pushing her thoughts away as Jay walked through the sand, a smile on her face.

"All fixed up?"

Jay nodded. "Eleu is amazing." She wrapped her fingers around Drew's arm. "I'm sorry our morning had to come to such an abrupt end."

Drew shrugged. "I guess we should be thankful Katherine called."

"She only called so that Eleu could have breakfast waiting for them. Don't you think it's strange she called Eleu and not us?" Jay took her hand and pulled her toward the beach. "But I don't want to talk about Katherine. I don't even want to think about Katherine."

They walked to the water's edge, their bare feet sinking into the damp sand as they stood looking out over the ocean. It was still overcast, the air cooler than it had been, the sun hiding behind clouds, the waves and wind a little stronger than they'd seen.

"Last night was fantastic," Drew said quietly, the wind carrying her words away.

Jay nodded. "Yes. It was beyond fantastic." She sighed. "And now they're back."

"We didn't really have time to consider anything, did we?"

"No, we didn't. But I don't regret it. Do you?"

"Are you kidding? It was the best night of my life."

"But now?" Jay asked, looking at Drew. "You look so sad."

"Do I?" Drew turned away, beginning to walk again. "Yeah, I guess I am," she said.

Jay touched her arm, stopping her. "Nothing about this is perfect," she said. "But like you said earlier... it is what it is."

"Yes. It's just funny. A few days ago, you were the one saying you didn't want an affair with me. And now, I guess, it's me. I don't want an affair with you, Jay. But it seems that's what we have."

"No. That's not what we have. What we shared last night can't ever be called an affair. I fell in love with you weeks ago.

Last night was inevitable. We both knew that."

"And I'm being selfish. I just want us to be alone, to be able to be ourselves. And I knew coming in that wouldn't be the case."

Jay turned into the wind, her hair lifting around her face. "I'm not sure what I thought would happen. I guess I thought maybe we could ignore this... this thing between us until we got back home. I know that's crazy now." She glanced at Drew. "I mean, we've spent every day together, just us. There wasn't any defense anymore. We made love." She moved in front of Drew, standing close. "We made love last night. And I've never felt closer to anyone than I did you. It was so... so powerful being with you like that."

"I'm totally in love with you, Jay. And I'm scared you're going to break my heart," she said. "Scared to death."

Jay shook her head. "No." She moved into Drew's arms and Drew held her tight. "No, I'm not going to break your heart," she whispered into Drew's ear. "I'm going to love you to death." Her lips lingered before she pulled away and slipped out of her arms again.

"So now what? We go back and keep on pretending?"

Jay took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. "No." She shook her head. "I'm tired of playing games. Aren't you?"

"So you're ready for that confrontation with her?"