Abbi Glines - Bad For You

I stared at my phone. I hadn’t turned it on since I left Sea Breeze. I was scared to. What if Krit had left me messages? What if he hadn’t? What if he was going to doctor’s appointments with Britt now? What if he had realized he missed his old life? I just couldn’t face any of that.

“You look better,” Malcolm said. He wasn’t Pastor Williams anymore, but he also wasn’t Dad. I didn’t know if he would ever be Dad. That seemed like a word reserved for someone who protected you and cared for you. Malcolm had done neither.

I glanced up at him. He was less pale today. He’d been out of the ICU for three days now. “I went to the house like you suggested and took a shower. Got some sleep. Washed my clothes,” I replied.

“Good. You were looking exhausted. Sorry Linc left you.”

I wasn’t. I had wanted him to go. He’d stayed, but I hadn’t talked to him much. Then three nights after Malcolm’s surgery, I’d overheard him on the phone with a girl. His fiancé. Who lived in Mississippi and who he’d been engaged to for a year. All the phone calls he had needed to take made sense now. I had known he was tense and dealing with someone, but I had never had any idea he had a fiancé.

The numbness that had taken over me since finding out about Britt’s pregnancy and that Pastor Williams was my biological father had made telling Linc to leave easy. I had pointed to the door and told him to go. Then I’d walked away from him without another word. Linc was out of my life. Not because I was upset that he had a fiancé, but because I was upset he’d cheated on her with me. He should have never taken me out on those dates. There would be no friendship between us. That had been all I needed to know about Linc Keenan.

“I’m not. Glad he’s gone,” I replied honestly.

Malcolm nodded. He didn’t ask why. Which was good because I probably wouldn’t have told him. “Thought you two might be more than friends. The way he stayed near you.”

“We were friends. Not anymore. There are things about him I don’t like very much.”

Malcolm opened his mouth to say something but stopped, and his gaze focused on something behind me. Figuring the doctor was back, I glanced over my shoulder. Krit’s blue eyes were locked on me as he stood there at the door. Every emotion I had felt over the past two weeks was mirrored in his eyes.

I stood up and turned to him. “You’re here,” I said.

“I’d have been here sooner had someone pointed me in the right direction,” he replied, his eyes not wavering from mine.

“I . . .” Pausing, I turned back to Malcolm. “I need to go talk to him.”

Malcolm nodded. “Yeah, I would say you do.” With unease in his eyes, he glanced back at Krit.

I didn’t explain Krit or introduce them. I wasn’t even sure how to introduce Malcolm anymore. When he’d woken up after a successful surgery, I had been waiting on him. We hadn’t said much that day or the next. But then on the third day he had been better. And he’d wanted to talk. But it really hadn’t changed much. Other than I now knew the truth.

When I reached Krit, his hand shot out and grabbed mine. He laced his fingers through mine. “Hey,” he said in a deep voice.

I walked down the hall toward the elevator and then I led him back outside to Malcolm’s car. When I had sent Linc away I had been without a vehicle. I had walked the three miles to Malcolm’s house to get his car.

Krit didn’t ask questions; he just went with me. “Get in,” I said, motioning to the passenger seat.

When we were both inside, I cracked the windows so we could get some air. Then I turned to him. “You’re here,” I repeated. Because I wasn’t sure how he was here or why.

He took my hand again and held it up to his lips. There were dark circles under his beautiful eyes and his face looked thinner. “Eight hours ago Linc showed up at my door and told me where you were.”

“Eight?” It took ten hours driving time to get here.

“Eight,” he repeated.

“But it’s a ten-hour drive.”

He ran the hand he was holding along his cheek. “Not when a man is going after his woman, it’s not.”

My heart squeezed. His sweet words always managed to get to me. Hearing them and knowing he really meant them would be hard to walk away from. I’d had two weeks to think. Two weeks to realize that so many things I’d thought were true weren’t. But I’d also had two weeks to face the fact that I wouldn’t be a hindrance to a child having their parent.

“I’m sorry I left without telling you. But I didn’t expect to be gone so long. Then things happened, and I decided to stay. Me being here gave you time to adjust and for you and Britt to make plans.”

He scowled. “I’m not making plans with Britt. I’ll take care of the kid if it’s mine. Hell, she’s yet to prove to me she’s actually pregnant. But the only plans I need to make are with you. I’m empty without you, love. Completely fucking empty.”

God, how did I tell this man no and walk away from him? He was so determined, and I loved him so much. Not taking what I wanted when it was right there in front of me was almost impossible. “I grew up thinking I had no one. No one wanted me or loved me because I thought I had no family. I accepted the fact that I was a burden on the Williamses. They gave me a roof over my head, and I should be thankful for that. They didn’t have to love me. I took verbal abuse from a hateful woman and believed every word she said. I thought I was evil and ugly. I thought I was unlovable because that’s all I’d been told. But the entire time I had been living with my father. The man who helped give me life. He let this happen to me. He didn’t show me love. He didn’t love me. I’m marked because of that, Krit. It will be something I carry with me my entire life. I won’t be the reason another child doesn’t have the love of a parent.” Tears were burning my eyes, and I pulled my hand out of his and held it tightly with my other hand.

“Blythe,” he said quietly. “Your father is a sad son of a bitch. He had you, and he didn’t love you like you deserve to be loved. I can’t comprehend how anyone couldn’t love you. Fuck, I can’t comprehend how anyone couldn’t want to cherish you and protect you. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive the man. So you’ve been warned. If you want to form a relationship with him, fine, but I don’t want to be near him. I’ll wait in the other room or outside in the car when you visit him,” He reached over and tilted my head up so I had to look at him. One lonely tear rolled down my face, and he caught it with his thumb. “I will love my kid. I can love my kid and be a dad and not love its mom. People do it all the time. It’s not a package deal. If the baby is mine, I will love it. I swear to you. I wouldn’t do to that baby what was done to you. But I will be a shell of a fucking man if I have to live the rest of my life without you. So, if you’re worried about me being a good dad, then know I need you in order to be whole.”

Another tear escaped, and then another. My vision got blurry as the tears filled my eyes and began streaming down my face. “I love you,” I choked out, unable to say anything else.

He jerked the car door open and jumped out, then took off running around the front of my car. He opened my car door, swinging it wide, then pulled me out of the car and into his arms as his body trembled.

I clung to him as he buried his face in my neck and held me. He didn’t say anything, but the slight trembling of his body was so out of place with him. “Say it again,” he said against my neck after several minutes.

I reached up and ran my hand over his hair. “I love you. I’ve loved you for a while now.”