Nicole Edwards - Perception

Great.

Now she was rattled as well as out of sorts. Her mind was coming up with a myriad of things that could be wrong, including Xander’s disappointment in her. She’d failed last night, she knew that. The scene had gotten completely out of hand. She’d pushed both Clarissa and Xander hard; harder than she intended.

Seriously. It had all been done in fear. Fear of what she was beginning to feel for Xander. Fear for what she wanted from him. And she had almost pushed them to the point of no return. Had it not been for him, that’s exactly where they would be right then. And there wouldn’t be a dinner invitation. Business or otherwise.

Placing her phone into the cup holder, Mercedes gripped the wheel with both hands, trying to keep her hands from shaking.

This was it. Xander was going tell her thanks for the memories, but he preferred that they go back to just being friends. Or worse, maybe he was going to tell her that he couldn’t even be friends anymore.

Breathe.

Mercedes took a deep breath as she came to a stop at a red light. She was overreacting. She had to be. Xander hadn’t seemed at all upset when he left her alone in her condo after their heated discussion. It wasn’t quite an argument because Xander hadn’t pressed the issue and he never once raised his voice.

Even though they hadn’t kissed and made up, - but why would they if their time was officially over – he had wrapped her in his arms and held her before he turned and walked out the same way he came. He wouldn’t have done that if he was going to tell her he didn’t want to at least be friends, would he?

No. Xander wasn’t made that way. He was as straightforward as they came. He would’ve called her to the carpet, addressed the issue at the time.

So what did he want to talk about?

Putting her foot on the gas pedal, Mercedes focused on the drive to the restaurant.

Although she hadn’t eaten anything all day, she wasn’t sure she could eat now if she was forced to.

He wanted to talk.

They needed to talk.

And so what if he did let her down easy. It wouldn’t matter. She had known from the start that this wasn’t going to work.

Keep telling yourself that.

It didn’t matter that he’d made her feel things she’d never expected. It didn’t matter that she’d let herself fall just a little bit in love with him. None of it mattered because it was just a deal. An experiment. And she knew from the beginning that it would come to an end.

So why did she suddenly want to cry?

Xander waited at the bar of one of Mercedes’s favorite restaurants for her to arrive. He’d spent the better part of the day traveling – a trip he hadn’t been able to put off – and when his jet had landed just an hour before, he had called her up and asked her to meet him for dinner.

She had graciously accepted, although he had sensed reluctance in her tone. It wasn’t until he informed her that they’d be meeting with Logan and Samantha McCoy that she seemed to relax. What that was about, he had no idea, but he hadn’t asked either.

He should probably thank Logan for calling him with the last minute dinner request because otherwise, he’d probably be drinking at home.

Alone.

“Another,” he told the bartender when the man made his way over.

“Yes, sir.”

Xander was tired. He was stressed. And he was anxious to see Mercedes even if he did have to spend dinner discussing business with Logan. Mercedes’s presence would make it all worth it.

Although it had technically been five days since they’d embarked on this adventure, Xander wasn’t ready for it to be over. He found that he enjoyed Mercedes’s company, and being away from her, even for a few short hours, hadn’t been the highlight of his day.

A soft hand touched his back and Xander turned to see Mercedes standing beside him. “Hey,” she greeted. “You ok?”

Better now, he thought to himself. But he said, “Hungry. You?”

“Starving, actually.” It was a lie, he could tell, but he didn’t call her on it. “Are Logan and Samantha here yet?”

Yes, he had definitely come to the right conclusion. Mercedes was happy to have Logan and Sam along tonight. Probably because she was looking to put some distance between them, and Logan and Sam would act as a nice buffer.

Not that he blamed her. After last night, he wasn’t sure how she would respond to him today. That was partially why he’d given her some space by informing her he had to go out of town. What he had wanted to do was invite her, but he knew she had needed some time to herself.

So he had graciously given her the entire day in the hopes that the time she had to herself would allow her to realize... Hell, he wasn’t even sure what he hoped she would realize. That he loved her? That she loved him? That being with her was exactly where he wanted to be, regardless of who was dominating who.

Apparently a full day to herself didn’t seem to be long enough if the way she was glancing around the room was any indication.

“They’re on the way,” he informed her. “I asked them to meet us at eight.” It was only half past seven, so they still had some time. He’d done that on purpose also. “Have a seat,” he said, keeping his tone firm as he pulled out the high-back barstool beside him.

Mercedes gracefully took a seat next to him, and when the bartender returned with his drink, Xander allowed her to order for herself. Although he could’ve easily made the selection for her. She ordered white wine, her usual M.O. at this particular establishment.

“How did things go today?” Mercedes asked the question, but she didn’t look at him.

“Could’ve been better.” He had no intention of going into detail about his day. He wanted to talk, but not about business. As it was, he would have to delve into business with Logan shortly.

Ever since last night, when they’d arrived back at his condo, Mercedes had been avoiding him. Well, not entirely, because they had spent more time together, mostly in the bath where he’d enjoyed running his hands over her curvy, wet body. But even as he made her come with his fingers, he had felt her retreating from him.

She probably hoped he wouldn’t notice.

He noticed.

It was hard not to when he had woken up just that morning at five o’clock – about an hour later than normal – to find Mercedes gone from his bed.

Needless to say, he hadn’t been happy. His mood had darkened even more when he found that she wasn’t even in his condo. Rather than calling her, Xander had pulled on a pair of shorts, didn’t bother with a shirt or shoes, which was very unlike him, and made his way down to her floor and beat on her front door until she answered.

She opened the door, her hair wet, her face scrubbed clean. Yes, she’d gone back to her place to shower, and that had been like a kick in the nuts. Mercedes had made the message very clear. Their time together had come to an end.

And after the scene they’d shared at Devotion… that bothered him more than anything.

He knew she wouldn’t want to talk about what had happened last night when he had used his safe word just to call a halt to the nightmare that they were venturing closer and closer to. But he had wanted to talk about it.

Not just about that though. There were some other things he needed to say to her. Important things. Things he wasn’t willing to keep in any longer.

But he didn’t address the elephant in the room. There would be time later, and he intended to address the issue, but he also planned to do so in private. For now, he simply asked, “What did you do today?”

“I took a client out for a few hours.”

That wasn’t much of an explanation, but he hadn’t expected much more than that either. She wasn’t looking at him, seemingly fascinated with her wine glass and the people sitting around them. He ached to put his arms around her, to pull her close and to assure her that there was no reason for her to be freaked out.