Nicole Edwards - Perception

She was getting turned on. Exactly what he had hoped for.

Keeping his pace slow, he pushed the nightgown higher until he could easily slip it over her head, her long, silky hair falling over her left shoulder as he did. She didn’t move when the silk pooled in the crook of her arms, and he again praised her for it.

Leaning over her from behind, because he couldn’t resist, he placed his forearms on the remaining space on the bench that was exposed at her sides. He tucked his arms against her, sandwiching her between his chest and the bench, but making sure not to put his weight on her. Reaching beneath her arms, Xander fingered the chain that was hanging down, the one connected to the clamps on her nipples.

Mercedes moaned when he tugged, causing the clamps to pull.

“You look so fucking pretty right now. Bent over, your ass and pussy at my mercy. You make my dick hard, pet. So damn hard.”

Mercedes’s breath hitched and the harder he tugged on the chain, the more she moaned. But she didn’t respond otherwise which was what bothered him.

He couldn’t help but wonder whether she was testing him again.

“You’re going to look even prettier when your ass is red, won’t you?”

“Yes, Mas – Sir.”

Xander caught Mercedes’s slip and an emotion he wasn’t familiar with ripped through him. She’d purposely refused to call him Master. He had no idea why that hurt him so much, but it was like a knife through his chest.

Rather than dwell on it, he shoved it away, refusing to let it get to him. It wasn’t a requirement and what he needed to focus his attention on was getting her off.

That’s the punishment she would receive from him tonight. He fully intended to make her soar, bring her to orgasm as many times as he possibly could until she was pleading for him to stop.

Mercedes remained as still as possible, her breath slamming in and out of her lungs in perfect rhythm with the pulsing beat of the music playing overhead. She was trying not to break down before things had even got started, but her nerves were getting the better of her.

She continued to remind herself that this was Xander, a man she trusted with her life. There was no fear of him hurting her physically, she knew that. It wasn’t what she was worried about.

The problem she had was letting go. Handing him the reins, letting him control her pleasure.

Last night had been different. It hadn’t been intentional.

The scene they’d done together had been mutual. She had been playing a part. That was a far cry from what she was doing now because playing the part of his submissive and being his submissive were on opposite ends of the spectrum.

She didn’t want to disappoint him. Yet she already had.

Mercedes didn’t flinch, did her best not to react at all as Xander’s hand trailed over her skin once again. He worked his way over her butt, caressing her thigh with his warm hands. She knew what he was doing, but she tried not to think about it.

While he worked the buckles that would hook around her thigh, expertly restraining her to the bench, she remembered the way he’d tensed a moment ago. She had nearly called him Master, but for some reason, at the very last minute, she opted to go with the more impersonal Sir.

It had been a cheap shot; she knew that much. One that she would’ve noticed as a Domme as well. For his sub to refer to him as Master X, or simply Master, was one of the highest honors he could receive as a Dom. At least according to Xander.

It meant acceptance.

She’d purposely changed her tactic although she had wanted to call him Master, for reasons she couldn’t even fathom at this point. And he had obviously noticed, just as she expected.

Xander worked the buckles on her forearms, and she kept her head down, her eyes on the concrete floor beneath her. She wouldn’t be able to look at him. Not at this point.

Shit, she was doing well just to breathe.

An overwhelming mix of emotions was stirring inside of her. Defiance, panic, anger, submission. The least of which was the latter, but she was trying.

The hardest part was the fact that she wanted Xander to touch her. She wanted to touch him. Up to that point, she hadn’t had the pleasure of putting her hands on him, unless stroking him through his slacks earlier that morning counted. Since she hadn’t had the pleasure of touching him skin to skin, she didn’t consider it. And just the thought of exploring him inch by inch was driving her crazy.

Once he had her properly restrained, Xander’s hands caressed her bottom again and she fought the urge to groan. God, his touch was exquisite. The way his big hands formed to her body perfectly, it was as though he was built specifically to touch her.

“Lovely.” Xander’s word caressed her skin as smoothly as his hands, causing Mercedes to suck in a breath.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized she could handle whatever pain he dished out, whatever punishment he felt she deserved. But it was his reverent tone, the way he seemingly admired her that was breaking down her resistance.

The worst part about it: Mercedes didn’t associate approval with submission.

Which was a new lesson for her as a Domme. She gave her approval when it was earned, lavished her subs with kind words when they did what she expected them to do, but never once had she put herself in their shoes. To hear it, the tone of Xander’s voice ringing with the honesty of his words, caused her chest to swell with an emotion she wasn’t sure she was ready to feel.

She’d always associated submission with the inability to be in control. Her subs wanted her to take all control from them. Some let her do it easily, others were resistant. But all in all, they needed that from her.

For her, losing that control wasn’t an option. It meant someone else could overpower her, rob her of her strength, shatter her self-confidence.

Even though she could look at submission from a clinical perspective, through the eyes of a Domme, she still resisted the idea of letting someone have so much power over her.

Mercedes stopped thinking when Xander slid her panties down over her hips, leaving them to rest around her thighs. She’d already been exposed, the G-string he’d provided for her to wear had done little to cover her. But this was about making her feel vulnerable and being on display for him. Her panties provided a constant reminder of that fact. She was sure that was his intention.

“Are you wet, pet?” he asked, his fingers slipping down the crack of her ass.

She didn’t answer him. She couldn’t.

“Shit!” Mercedes screamed when Xander’s hand landed firmly on her ass, the heat from the contact blooming instantly.

“Answer me,” Xander boomed, his voice echoing in the small enclosed space, jerking her to attention.

He sounded… angry.

She saw him move into her field of vision, felt his hands as they fisted into her hair as he lifted her head. The next thing she knew she was looking at him. There was no anger in his beautiful green eyes, only dominance.

“Answer me when I speak to you. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Sir,” she whispered, keeping her eyes locked with his.

“If you want this to end, you know what you have to say. I’ll let you go, and we’ll move on with our lives. But in the meantime, you will not top from the bottom, do you understand?”

Top from the bottom?

Oh, God. Was that what she was doing?

Crap.

Now that she thought about it, yes, that’s exactly what she was doing. She was holding out on them both in her attempt to keep control. Not only was she denying herself pleasure, she was also denying him his. And that was unacceptable. Even to her.