Teresa Mummert - A Song for Us

She made her choice.

The words vibrated throughout my soul and I wanted to call him out on everything. What she knew about his bad behavior paled in comparison to what I had seen him do. None of it mattered because she clearly loved him enough to put up with it. I tried to tell myself that if this made her happy, I had no right to tell her what I was feeling. It wasn’t fair for her . . . but this wasn’t fair to me either.

Part of me wanted to leave so I could spend the evening alone with the pain in my chest and a bottle of Jack, but I looked to Donna, her hair falling lose and hanging wildly around her face. Her skin was glistening with sweat from all of the people in such a small space. She looked incredible . . . but more important, she looked like the perfect distraction.

I reached out and grabbed her wrists, pulling her body against mine. Her hands landed on my chest as we began to move against each other. She smiled up at me, her lips parted as her arms looped around my neck. My hand began to slide down her back as my body reacted to her touch.

“If you want me to stop . . . ,” I whispered in her ear, and she shook her head as her fingers slid into my hair. The pressure in my chest began to ease as I let go and focused on Donna. When we were on tour, she could be so guarded. I knew she had a rough past, that her “all-business” attitude was just a front, protection, and I’d only just begun to get a sense of the real Donna. But when she had a few drinks in her, she relaxed and showed a side of her few got to see. This was one of the reasons we had become such close friends over the past few months. The fear of commitment that had kept her at arm’s length melted away.

“You know what I love about you?” She was smiling, fears forgotten.

“What?” I couldn’t help but grin at her now-playful forwardness. I loved when she let this side of her show.

“Everything. I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with. Thank you for giving me a chance.” Her smile fell and my breath caught at her admission. My own grin faded as I looked into her eyes, the truth reflecting back at me. She put on a front to keep people away, but I knew she needed someone just like the rest of us. Her eyes fell and I put my fingers under her chin to tilt her head back up so her eyes could meet mine.

“You can talk to me, Donna.”

“Just dance with me.”

We danced through half a dozen songs as the twins continued to grab rounds from the bar. By the seventh shot my vision had blurred enough that I no longer needed to glance over at Sarah, because I couldn’t see her.

Donna grinding her ass against me definitely helped. She smelled like expensive perfume that you find samples of in those chick magazines. I wondered briefly if she tasted as good as she smelled.

My hands ran up her sides, pulling and tugging at the delicate fabric of her dress. She turned back around to face me, her breasts pressed against my chest, and I knew she could feel how much I enjoyed it as I held her waist against mine. Her forehead was against mine as our noses touched, and my gaze fell from her eyes to her lips. Suddenly, I heard Sarah laugh, and my eyes darted over to her and Derek. Even with Donna in my arms, my mind flooded with images of Sarah. What would it be like to take Sarah in my arms and run my hands over her, to have her nails drag through my hair, to drag my tongue over her soft lips?

In that moment I knew I was going to do something I would later regret. I needed to push Sarah further out of my mind, and Donna suddenly felt like the only way to do that. She needed me as an escape just as much as I needed her.

Donna’s tongue ran out over her lips, and every rational thought I had disappeared as my mouth crushed against hers. She moaned quietly against my kiss as I sucked her lower lip between mine, grazing it with my teeth. My hands slipped onto her ass as I ran my tongue over the seam of her lips. She let them fall open, inviting me in.

She tasted even better than I had imagined. Her lips tasted like strawberries from her gloss and the ghost of the last shot she had drunk. Her hands slid down the sides of my neck and her nails bit into my shoulders as we struggled to get even closer to each other.

The bass of the music faded in and out, and I could only hear my own heartbeat thudding in my ears as her tongue pushed back against mine. In the distance I heard someone yell, but I blocked it out as my hand ran over Donna’s ribs, my thumb grazing the bottom of her breast.

I know I’ll regret this later on. I know that anything involving Donna is complicated given her role in the band. I know I am not thinking clearly, but in this moment, all I want is for someone else to want me. No, I want someone else to crave me. I’m tired of sitting on the sideline while the asshole gets the girl. I want the girl.

“E,” Donna moaned into my mouth, and melted my remaining willpower.

Suddenly, someone crashed into us and I stumbled, clinging to Donna to keep her on her feet. I glanced around at the crowd with hazy vision, struggling to focus on the swarm of bodies around us. A man with full sleeves of dark ink was yelling at another guy for groping his girlfriend, who was nowhere in sight, and the crowd grew hot and cracked with palpable tension. You could taste it in the air. Alcohol and lowered inhibitions craved something more—chaos was about to break out.

Before I could make my way out of the crowd, arms were flying and people were being shoved against one another. I wrapped my arm instinctively around Donna and tried to work my way through the fight. I had to shove and kick people out of the way, but I got her back to our table. Chris was on his feet and ready to push his way into the brawl.

I took a minute to steady my breathing before I looked around and panic set in.

“Where’s Sarah?” I yelled, and no one responded. “Where’s Sarah?” I yelled louder, and Donna jumped at the tone of my voice. I peeled her from my side and sat her down in the booth as I placed my face directly in front of hers. She looks to be in shock and I wanted to make sure she took in everything I said.

“Don’t move from this spot. I will come back for you. Don’t move.”

“Don’t go back out there.” I heard the fear in her voice. I don’t know if she was scared to be alone or for my safety.

“Don’t move, Donna. I’ll come back. I promise.” She nodded and I stood up, glancing over at Chris. A worried look was all over his face as the fight grew out of control, but I couldn’t leave Sarah in the middle of this. I knew Derek wasn’t putting her safety above his. He never put her first.

The screams were deafening as we worked our way back into the fight. Women were fighting and getting knocked to the ground as men exchanged blows. Chris shoved people out of our way and I grabbed some asshole by the back collar of his shirt and pulled him to the ground. I stepped over him as I moved forward in the crowd.

My heart stopped as I saw Sarah. Her hair was wild and black streaks stained her face from crying in her makeup. She looked absolutely terrified and lost as chaos erupted around us, with Derek nowhere in sight. I reach my hand out to her and she hesitated to take it as her eyes widened and she screamed my name. I didn’t have time to react as an elbow connected with my temple. The shooting pain was excruciating, bringing on one of my migraines that makes it impossible for me to think. I fell to a knee and stumbled as I pushed back to my feet. I held out my hand again to Sarah as several bodies pushed in between us. Her fingertips brushed against mine, sending a jolt of electricity through me. I had never before seen her so frightened.

“Grab my hand.” I yelled over the noise.