Ella James - Unmaking Marchant

As I shower and dress, I wonder how long till I can tap that shit again. Woman is addictive. The thought reminds me that she thinks I’m an addict. Annoying, yes, but necessary. There’s no other way to explain why I’d forgotten we had sex.

I’d much rather her think I’m battling a substance issue than know that my own brain betrayed me. Or, more accurately, my brain was so fucked up, the only way I could get it back to normal was to let a bunch of doctors give me seizures.

I’m not sure why it matters so much, but I want Suri Dalton to think of me as normal. Well, I think as I slide a belt through my slacks—as normal as a pimp can be.

I’m wearing one of my Brionis today, because they’re comfortable and fit well. I’ve got four of them, three Fioravantis, two Huntsmans, two Kitons, and a Caraceni. I’ve found I’m taken more seriously when I’m dressed for business. Probably because so many people expect to find me dressed for sex.

No. 1, I never fuck my girls, and No. 2, at Love Inc., we’re all about the Benjamins.

Before going upstairs, I send a quick text to my money guy to confirm that the transaction to Hawkins went through. I don’t need to have that shit hanging above my head. He replies as I climb the stairs. ‘Done.’

Nice.

Despite what a prick he is, I feel a bit of guilt for how I handled things with Hawkins. If I’d been myself, I’d have paid him promptly. Since this was only my second manic episode, I hadn’t realized I’d be so reckless with money.

I never expected to have a second manic episode. Fucking naïve.

Still, I’m feeling okay as I sit on my porch. Rachelle arrives in her jogging outfit. She jogs up my steps, and jogs in place as she fishes my pill out of the pocket of her shirt.

“Thanks for bringing this by,” I tell her, swallowing it dry.

“No problem, boss man.” She looks me over. “You look sharp.”

“Thank you.”

Her delicate blonde brows wriggle. “You look better than you have in weeks. You get laid or something?”

I try to laugh her off, but I think I come off looking guilty—or even worse, smug.

She snorts. “Good for you.”

“You make it sound like I’m a fucking charity case.”

She laughs again, her head thrown back. “Now I know that is not the case.” She gives me a quick roll of her eyes before jogging off. “After tomorrow,” she calls over her shoulder, “I’ll give them back to you. Sound good?”

“Yeah.”

I’m doing okay now. Feeling less head fucked. As I make my way to the kitchen, I’m surprised to find my mood is…pretty damn good. I crank up some Led Zeppelin on my Bose and crack two eggs, planning to whip up breakfast, before I get an even better idea. I’ll make something portable, and invite Suri Dalton to the maze with me. Maybe we can have a quick fuck in the bushes.

I grin, and I’m grabbing some fruit out of the pantry when I hear the click of shoes on hardwood, and there she in the doorway between my den and kitchen, looking gorgeous.

I can’t help how good I feel. I give her a big, stupid smile.

She grins back at me. “You look nice today.”

I look her over, deliberately lingering on her tits. “You look better.” I have to fight the urge to yank her dress up and fuck her on the kitchen table. I’m already hard, and I don’t try to hide it as I grab a paper bag from a nearby drawer.

“You going out?” she asks me.

“Yeah.”

She walks into the kitchen, giving me a great view of her ass, and leans against my counter. With her hair hanging a little past her chin and her pink lips smiling, she looks like a girl someone should love. Which is a fucking weird thing to think.

I rub my head, and she says, “Where ya going?”

“Thought I’d go for a walk.” I thought I’d go with her, but now that I see her looking so beautiful and fresh, I’m not so sure. Wasn’t I supposed to be keeping this professional?

But it’s just a walk, right? It should be pretty hard to ruin the beauty that is Suri Dalton in the course of a twenty-minute walk. And if we fuck? Well, it’s not the first time. I’ll end this fuck-fest soon. Get some willpower and take off to my house in Summerlin.

Till then… It’s been a long time since I took a walk around the grounds for no reason at all.

I look back over at her to ask if she’ll go with me, and find her smiling slightly.

“What?” I ask.

“Oh…nothing.” Her smile widens, and she laughs.

“What is it?” I rub my hand over my face. “Do I have a booger?”

“No.” Her eyes are twinkling, swear to fucking God.

“Then what?”

“You’re packing a lunch for yourself.” She’s still smiling.

I hold out two apples and a banana, like I’m surrendering a weapon. “You mean this?”

“Yes, that.”

I feel a little hot under my collar. “So what? A person’s gotta eat.”

“I know,” she says. “It’s cute.” And then she giggles. It’s a real giggle. Like…I don’t know. Something real and nice.

I’m surprised to find it makes me laugh a little, too.

“I was thinking one of them could be for you. You like apples? Or bananas?”

She twirls a piece of her hair, still smiling. I swear to God, this girl is like sunshine. “I like them both. Where are we walking?”

I shrug as I throw the fruit in the paper sack, prompting her to laugh again. “Just around. I like to stretch my legs sometimes.”

I squeeze my eyes shut and want to groan, because I sound like an idiot. I screw up my face and pull out my country voice. “Want to throw some stones in the pond? It’s real fuuun.”

She giggles again. “Sure. I throw a mean stone.” I don’t even know what this means

I walk past her, headed toward the ’frige to grab some bottled water. She catches me by the arm and tugs me close to her. I’m still as one of her hands twists around my nape and pulls my face down close to hers. I’m ready to kiss her. Ready to fuck her. Instead she pulls me even closer and I feel her lips press gently on my forehead.

It’s fucking weird, the way it makes me feel. Just…warm in my chest, like someone poured hot water into me.

She looks into my eyes. I must be frowning because she frowns a little, too, then smiles and ruffles my hair. “Don’t be so uptight. I just wanted to kiss you. No strings.” She pushes me gently away and holds up three fingers. “I swear.”

“I know.” I give her a small smile and grab the water from the refrigerator, and by the time I’ve turned around the weirdness of the moment has passed. She grabs an apple out of the paper sack, and I grab the other one, and we leave the sack in the kitchen and head out the front door. I have a memory of walking out of the house with Riker when we were children, armed with bed linen and kitchen utensils. I guess my brain is dredging up strange shit because of Suri’s presence in my house. I usually don’t let women stay, or even fuck them in my cottage. That’s what my room in the main house is— was for.

As we walk toward the pond, she asks, “What are you thinking?”

I shrug. “About the new building.”

It’s out there in front of us, and the construction crew is already moving this morning. Their big machines beep and buzz as they resurrect the building.

“What about it?” she asks.

“I used to have a room there. Like, my personal room.”

“That’s cool.”

“I mean for sex.”

“Okay—still cool, for you, I guess.” She gives me an unreadable look.

“I was just wondering if I’m going to rebuild it.”

“Are you?”

“I don’t know.”

We walk a little more, and it’s fucking weird, because I kind of want her to tell me not to. Instead she says, “Did you ever imagine this place would be so successful?”