J. Kenner - Wanted

I forced myself to meet his eyes. Forced myself to mask the fear.

I could only hope that I succeeded. “No, it was fine. Just some guy.” I lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “I think you’re reading too much into things, Kevin.”

“Am I?” His mouth curved down in a frown. “I don’t know.” He paused long enough that I actually thought he was going to say goodbye. But it wasn’t my day for good luck.

“Looks like things have gotten serious between you and Black.”

I said nothing, but inside I was terrified. Because I could read between the lines easily enough. Larry was bad news. Someone from the life that Evan kept hidden. And Kevin worked for the FBI.

“I thought you were moving to Washington,” he pressed.

“I am,” I said warily—was he really letting me off the hook that easily? “My mom is planning a wardrobe shopping spree as soon as I get to town. And my dad emailed listings for about a billion possible condos.”

I was smiling like an idiot, and I was damn sure that I was trying too hard.

“So what’s this with Black?” he asked, destroying my fantasy that he’d dropped the subject. “Just one of those good girl/bad boy flings?”

“What the hell, Kevin?” I’d intended my tone to sound sharp—the perfect fuck off exit point for this conversation. But instead, it came out tired and a little wary.

“I still care about you. More, I worry about you.”

I held up a hand. “This isn’t a conversation we’re having.” I had to move. Had to get out of there. But when I started to walk away, he grabbed my arm. I shook it free. “Jesus, Kev—”

“If you don’t get out, I don’t know that I’ll be able to pull you out.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I snapped. Not exactly a lie, but not the truth, either.

“You know,” he said. “Because I already told you, and I told you more than I should. He’s bad news, Angie. And so are Cole August and Tyler Sharp. Stay away from them.”

My heart was pounding so hard that I could barely hear my own words through the thrumming in my ears. “You know what, Kevin? I’d like to say it was a pleasure running into you, but that would be a huge lie. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go find my date.”

Except I didn’t go find Evan. I moved out of the main room into one of the smaller adjoining rooms, then leaned against the wall, closed my eyes, and concentrated on breathing as I tried to get my shit together.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I’d known almost from the beginning that the stuff Kevin said about Evan was probably true. That there was illegal shit going on in the background. And, hell, hadn’t Evan almost— almost —even confessed as much to me? And, damn me, hadn’t the possibility made me hot? The possibility that Evan was pulling one over on the FBI made him larger than life. Exciting. Sensual. Thrilling.

But now—

Now with worms like Larry approaching me and Kevin hounding me—

Oh, god, now it all felt too real. Too scary.

I remembered the twisting, nausea-inducing fear when I’d been arrested. No, not fear. Terror. The knowledge that everything I’d worked for and loved could be ripped away from me in an instant, pulled out from under me and replaced with bars and a cold floor and the eyes of the world looking hard at me and knowing that I screwed up.

I didn’t want that for Evan—not for any of the knights.

Even more, I didn’t want it for me. Didn’t want the risk of being forced to testify. To sit in a small room with questions tossed at me. And didn’t want the risk that someone I loved would be yanked away from me.

Loved.

I squeezed my eyes tight, pushing the thought away. Breathing deep. Trying desperately to keep myself from coming completely undone.

A soft tap on the door frame had me almost jumping out of my skin. I opened my eyes and whipped my head around to face Evan.

“What’s wrong?”

I managed a watery smile. “That obvious?”

He moved to my side. “I know you.”

“So does some guy named Larry.” I watched him as I spoke, saw the tension run through him. “He gave me a message. I’m supposed to tell you to back off.” I sucked in a breath. “Will you tell me who he is?”

He said nothing for a minute, then he lifted his hand, displaying his knuckles. “I mentioned him before,” he said. “He’s one of the assholes who was messing with the girls.”

“Oh.” I thought about that, then decided not to press for more. Whatever was going on under the surface, Evan already knew about it. And I didn’t see even a hint of fear in his eyes. I did, however, see a spark of anger as he reached out and gently stroked my cheek.

“He scared you.”

“He was creepy,” I admitted. “But I’m okay now.” I looked in his eyes and realized it was true. As corny as it sounded, I was okay now because Evan was beside me.

“I saw you talking to Kevin.”

“Lucky me.”

“Everything okay there, too?”

I nodded. What was I going to say? That I’d realized I was terrified for him and, oh, by the way, I might be falling in love with him, too? I settled for, “Yeah. Everything’s fine. He saw me talking to Larry, too.”

I met his eyes, and though he only nodded, I knew he understood my unspoken message: Be careful. Please, please be careful.

“What else did he say?”

“He said that he missed me.”

“I see.” I saw the vulnerability in his eyes, and I had to bite back a gasp as a sudden realization shook me. Evan might be everything that Kevin accused him of. He might be dangerous as hell. But right then, I had the power to hurt him.

I reached out and brushed my thumb over his lip. “I told him that I didn’t miss him at all,” I said.

He held my eyes for what felt like eternity. I saw relief there. And I saw what I wanted to believe was love.

After a moment, he blinked. “I need to take care of something,” he said gently, and though I didn’t ask, I had a feeling that Larry was the reason for this change in plans. “It shouldn’t take long. Wait for me at the boat?”

My smile felt watery. “I think I’ll go home instead,” I said. I wanted to be on familiar ground with my thoughts.

Evan eyed me cautiously. “You’re sure everything is okay?”

I leaned close and kissed him hard and slow and deep. “Everything’s fine. My dad emailed over a bunch of pictures of condos. I should look at them, you know.”

His expression hardened. “Sure. He’s probably expecting your reply.”

“Come over later?”

“As soon as I can.”

“Good,” I said.

“I’ll have Red take you home. I’ll ride with Cole.”

The drive only took a few minutes, and I was up the elevator, in the condo, and pouring a glass of wine in less than an hour. There was a message from Evan on my phone, and I realized he must have called in the short span of time when I had no service in the elevator.

“Change of plans. I have to fly to Indiana to take care of a few things, but I’ll be back tomorrow. Have a good day at work. I’ll be thinking of you.”

I carried my wine to bed and repeated his words in my head. I’d be thinking of him, too. About him. About threats and crimes and the FBI. About Washington.

And, yes. About flying.

I stayed awake as long as I could, fighting sleep. For the last few days, there’d been no nightmares. But tonight, without Evan beside me, I knew that they would come again. Salt-water scented dreams punctuated by the hollow screams of my sister. Dreams that reached out and grabbed me from sleep, so pernicious that they even followed me to work the next day where I sat, bleary-eyed at my desk, and tried to focus on Kat’s voice, tinny and thin over the phone.