Lyra Parish - Weak for Him

Houston. My heart dropped.

"Where are you taking me?"

"To the home of Janis Joplin," he replied.

The color on my face drained. I turned my head so he wouldn't see as he continued to talk about it.

"There's this new bed and breakfast that was voted one of the best new places to visit in the U.S. I really think you'll enjoy it, and it's country living. You said you loved that."

The brochure was tucked inside of his laptop bag, and he pulled it out and handed it to me. I thought I would be sick when the Welcome to Port Arthur sign covered the brochure.

"I've got a project, and I need to visit for research."

On the front was my childhood home, but instead of gray, the house was painted stark white, the shudders were perfectly straight, and professional landscaping had been done. A waterfall was installed in the front yard, and the shell drive was now pavement and circular.

I opened the rest of the brochure and saw a big, red barn in the backyard, and a pasture dotted with horses. Along with a man-made pond and floating deck. My parents would have been happy with what was done with the place, and the attention it was getting, but we couldn't go there. Not Luke and I. Not in a town where everyone knew everyone. I left to get away and returning would only make leaving again hard.

We made our way to the waiting area. My nerves were on edge, and I couldn't help but feel this way. If I told him why we couldn't go, he would know more than he needed, but if we went, he would find out anyway. I supposed the visit home, literally, would be an experience if nothing else.

Luke told me about his parents, his brother, and opened himself up to me while we were in the waiting area. On the plane, he interlaced his fingers with mine and whispered sweet things in my ears. I liked them. I liked the little compliments.

The plane landed in Houston, and we rented a car. Two grueling hours passed on the way to Port Arthur, and I dreaded every second. Texas living fascinated Luke. He loved the rolling hills, green grass, and even liked how I-10 stretched across the Lone Star State.

"Where are you from again? Which part?"

I turned to him and decided it was time to tell him the truth. Now or never.

"Port Arthur."

He pulled over on the side of the highway. Cars passed us going eighty miles per hour, and the wind whipped around the car.

"You should have told me at the airport. I could have changed our plans. Texas is huge. We could have gone anywhere."

"I know, but you seemed excited about going. I didn't want to ruin that for you. It's fine. Seriously, we're only thirty minutes away from Winnie. You'll have a good time. I'll show you around."

Dread should have been my first name, and Liar, my middle.

"You don't have to lie, you know. We can change our plans. I want you to be happy."

"It's perfect. I've been meaning to come back anyway."

When we entered Port Arthur, I thought I might be sick. The closer we inched toward my street, the quicker I wanted to run away. Once we turned onto the driveway, I knew there was no turning back. I was committed.

The pavement felt smooth under the tires. I took a deep breath before we walked inside. The porch was lined with rocking chairs, all the paint chips were scraped away and covered, and the rotten boards replaced. I slid my hand up the railing to the porch and opened the front door.

Inside, the living room had been arranged like a hotel. I peeked into the kitchen and saw new countertops and paint. A few walls were removed, and others added. The house wasn't the same. It wasn't the one that I grew up in and that fact alone would make the stay easier. It was only two nights, after all. I could handle a weekend.

The woman's face brightened when she caught sight of me over the counter. "Oh, Jennifer. We are so darn excited to see you here. We didn't know you were coming."

I faked a smile. "Yes, ma'am. I just had to come visit the place after hearing about all those good reviews. Congratulations, Mrs. Becky."

The people that bought the house also operated the place. How could I have been so stupid to think they wouldn't be here, or recognize me?

"I really think your parents would be proud with what we've done to the place. Mrs. Shirley told us about their plans and things, and well, we wanted to keep the spirit of what might have been, ya know?"

I wanted to melt into the floor, or wiggle my nose and disappear. Luke, as handsome as ever, stood with his hand on the small of my back.

"And who's this handsome young man?"

"Oh this is Luketon, my boyfriend," I added, just so no more questions would be asked.

Mrs. Becky Hanley, obviously thinking she was being cute, whispered loud enough for him to hear, "Oh he's miggghhtttyyyy fine. A keeper if I don't say so myself. So when y'all gettin' married? You're moving back home to raise those beautiful kids you're gonna make, right?"

I smiled at her, thinking up my next lie before Luke said, "Honey, I know you're tired, but want to help me grab the bags and bring them upstairs?"

Mrs. Hanley told us on our way out that our room was upstairs, the second on the right. What were the odds that I would be sleeping in my old bedroom?

Outside, Luke removed the bags from the car and leaned up against the trunk with his arms crossed. He waited for me to tell him what was going on, but I didn't feel like talking.

"Are you ok?" he finally asked me. "You look a little ill."

"Yes. No. I mean, yes I'm fine, and no I'm not sick."

"Are you going to tell me the truth now? You looked like you were drowning inside. I had to save you and give you mouth to mouth before that woman swallowed you whole. Who is she?"

"I don't want to lie to you. But I don't want to talk about it right now."

I grabbed my suitcase and wheeled it up the steps. Before we entered, he placed his hand on my shoulder and then opened the door. A fake smile spread across my face, and Mr. Hanley gave me a warm welcome.

Other visitors checked-in, and together Luke and I climbed the stairs. Although downstairs was unrecognizable, the layout of the top floor had barely changed. Only updated light fixtures, paint, and a new wooden floor made it different.

Every inch of my room had changed. The window was larger, the floor new, and a chandelier hung from the tall ceiling. An antique wrought iron bed sat against the long wall, and had a homemade quilt draped across it. My bathroom had been updated as well. Bright Tejas tiles lined the stand-up shower and little State of Texas decorations lined the walls, sink, and even the toilet cover. The Hanley's did an amazing job. Impressive to say the least. If I closed my eyes, I could almost imagine that I was somewhere else.

Luke dropped the suitcases on the floor and plopped down on the bed. He lifted himself up on one elbow and motioned for me to come to him, I did.

Opening his arms, I crawled into them, and we lay together. Nothing sexual, nothing out of bounds, just a simple gesture that I desperately needed. I wanted to feel safe, and he made me feel that way.

"I'm not sure what's going on with you right now. But I want you to know that I'm here for you, okay?"

I wrapped my arm around his stomach and scooted as close as I could to him.

"So I'm your boyfriend for the weekend?"

I looked into his eyes. "Yep. Just wait until tonight, when we go into to town."

"You called it town," he said. "That's so cute."

Sprinkles hit the window, causing us both to stir. Riding on the plane, and on my emotional roller coaster, seemed to have worn us both out, but it didn't stop us from taking showers and going out on the town. I laughed at the thought.

Luke wore a teal polo and a pair of vintage cut jeans. He smiled at me when I stepped out in a black, high-waist button-up dress and a red belt. Two-inch high heels, I wasn't trying to get crazy.