Jessica Sorensen - The Probability of Violet and Luke

“So where you heading now you sexy, beautiful thing?” Catterson asks, the sound of his voice forcing me back to reality. I realized I’ve lost a little bit of time while I zoned out. Everyone has already started clearing out and Catterson is looking at me expectedly, like I’m about to fuck him right here in the open. “You gotta head back or do you want to come back to the back room with me? Because I’d love to see that fine ass of yours in my hands.”

There are so many things I want to say to this guy. Like for starters, asking him if that ridiculous line has ever worked. But I know I have to keep my mouth shut and say the right thing, otherwise I’ll be busted.

I don’t know what the back room is, but I have some ideas. Back during my time living on the streets, I ended up sneaking into a strip club with this dude who said we could score some beer from the backroom because it was easily accessible without anyone seeing us. Turned out the backroom didn’t hold beer, but naked women giving out blowjobs and lap dances. Yep, way to awaken me to my sexuality.

She’s actually got to hitch a ride with us . Ryler appears by my side and causally puts and arm around me, all night in shiny armor, signing. Gotta make sure she gets home safe.

Catterson glances from Ryler to me and I give him my best I’m-so-sorry-but-not-this-time smile. “What’s he saying?” he asks confusedly.

“He says he needs to get me home safe,” I tell him, giving him my best I’m-so-sorry-but-we-can’t-hook-up look.

“She’s family?” he asks Ryler with a doubtful look, like he can’t possibly make out the family resemblance.

Cousins, Ryler mouths, giving me this weird side hug thing before he steers me along with him across the room, past the tables, and toward the exit doors, waving at Catterson before opening the door and then we step outside.

“Awe, thanks cuz,” I say with a sarcastic grin as I step out into the dark parking lot and overheated desert air. The street is a little ways away, but pretty vacant, the city in the distance, a cluster of sparkling lights that dance against the night.

Ryler smiles as he lets the door shut behind him, then his hands move in front of him as he signs, Hey, it was better than letting you come up with an explanation as to why you flirted the fuck out of him the entire night, but aren’t going to let him bang you in the backroom.

“Hey maybe I wanted him to bang me in the backroom,” I state, elevating my eyebrows as I walk backwards, facing him. I’m getting feistier by the second and the need for Luke to get out here soon grows, otherwise I’m going to end up doing something stupid probably.

Ryler pauses in the middle parking lot, confusion masking his face as he messes around with his eyebrow piercing. Aren’t you with Luke, though?

I stop walking and put my hands on my hips. “Does it look like I’m with Luke?” I’m all talk though because all I want to do right now is be with Luke.

I have no idea. He massages the back of his neck easily. He kind of reminds me of Luke in a way, a little squirmy when I’m blunt, but not enough to drop the subject. He’s also rough looking like Luke, especially in the eyes, and the piercing and tats add to the intensity. But whether that’s for show or not who knows. But it looks that way. He pauses, waiting for my answer, but I don’t have one to give him because I’m still trying to figure that out for myself.

“Where is Luke?” I scan the parking lot, my eyes landing on the dark purple Dodge Challenger we drove over in, parked toward the back, completely vacant at the moment. The situation could be dangerous, a girl and a very strong looking guy all alone with no one to hear her scream. My sick obsession to walk on the line between life and death pulls me forward, though, instead of back toward the light coming from The Warehouse.

Ryler starts for the car with me, swinging the car keys around on his finger. He had to go cash out . He unlocks the door, opens it, then flips the seat forward so I can get into the back. My dad went with him just to make sure there aren’t any problems.

I point a finger at him as I lower my head to duck into the car. “Again, sounds very mobsterish.” I hop into the backseat, very ungracefully and unlady like, probably flashing Luke’s cousin my lady part since I forgot to pack underwear so I’m commando right now. I’d care, but I’m too drunk to give a crap and if Ryler saw, he’s enough of a gentleman that he doesn’t say anything, quietly putting the driver’s seat into place, before sitting down in it with the door open, his feet planted outside on the ground.

He pops a cigarette into his mouth and lights up, sucking in a long inhale as he turns the ignition on. The stereo clicks on and “Red Light Pledge” by Silverstein flows from the speakers. You seem like a very interesting girl. He grazes his thumb along the end of the cigarette and little pieces of ash dance through the air.

“Interesting?” I rest my arms on the back of the seat as he sits back and leans against the steering wheel to look at me. “That’s a nice way of saying I’m a weirdo. But that’s okay. I’ve been called worse.”

And better a weirdo than ordinary, right?

“Exactly.” I tilt my head to the side and assess him over. He seems like the kind of guy I could potentially hook up with and in the past with as drunk and bored as I am, I might give it a go. It might be easier than screwing around with Luke, which is going to happen if I have it my way, but even through the vodka and jager, the emotions I’ve been attempting not to acknowledge the entire night, I can feel this pull toward Luke. And it’s terrifying, thinking about what that could possibly mean.

“Mind if I have one?” I nod at the cigarette in his hand.

His eyebrow crooks. You smoke? He questions probably because I’ve been around smokers the entire night and haven’t smoked a single one.

And normally I don’t, but tonight I’m going to be someone different. “Yep.” Hello world, meet drunken, smoker, Violet.

He shrugs, then takes the pack out of his pocket and gives me a cigarette and his lighter. I light up, not choking on the smoke because I have smoked in the past, under very strange circumstances when someone who took care of me for a while would have me light up for her when she was doing things like cooking and didn’t have free hands.

“How well do you know Luke?” I wonder curiously as I take a drag and smoke fills my lungs.

Ryler ashes his cigarette, sending ashes across the gravel just outside. Not very well. I met him once when he stayed with my dad a couple of summers ago, but that’s about it. Honestly, I’ve barely seen my dad though up until a couple of years ago. He puts the cigarette to his lips and breathes deeply, trying to cover up his uneasiness with the subject. What about you? He mouths, smoke laces from his lips.

“How well do I know Luke?” I ask and he nods. I waver, uncertain how to respond because it seems like I know Luke well, but at the same time I don’t know him at all. “I’m still trying to figure that out,” I say truthfully.

“What about you?”

“What about me what?” Hasn’t he already asked that question? Or am I losing track of time again.

I hardly know you. His attitude is veering toward flirty which would be fine if it wasn’t for Luke. Jesus, why can’t guys and girls just be friends?

“I’m a fairly boring person,” I tell him, then lean forward over the seat with a sarcastic dark look on my face. “And if I told you anything about me, then I’d have to kill you.”