Katie Ashley - Strings of the Heart

So here I was somewhat floundering in the new world I found myself in. Sure, Runaway Train still toured the country to sold-out arenas while playing kick-ass tunes, but it just wasn’t the same as it once had been. Unless I went back to Jacob’s Ladder’s bus after a show, I didn’t get to binge drink or potentially get some groupie action like I used to on the Runaway Train bus. We were blessed that our fame and celebrity had grown to where we could all afford our own buses now. Of course, I didn’t quite feel like flying solo. Instead, I left the solo buses to my bandmates and their families.

The worst was the fact that AJ, Brayden, and Jake were all on my ass to settle down. Like I couldn’t be the swinging bachelor the rest of my life? I guess at twenty-seven I should have been thinking of getting married, but it was really the last thing on my mind. Well, it had been up until a few months ago when my life got shot all to hell.

As I cut through the alleyway past Brayden’s bus, I saw one of our bodyguards leaned up against the door to Jake’s bus. “Morning, Dustin,” I said.

He eyed me with a drowsy expression. “You’re up awfully early this morning,” he mused.

“I have an alarm clock named Bella.”

He laughed as he unlocked Jake’s bus. “Those are the worst kind. They don’t have a snooze button.”

“You got that right.”

The musical sound of a cartoon greeted me as I shuffled up the bus steps. Angel, Jake and Abby’s Golden Retriever, came to greet me on the stairs with a lick on my hand and a wag of her tail. Baby jabber came from the kitchen table. As I reached the top, I could see five-month-olds, Jax and Jules, seated in their highchairs. “Hey, Abby, I have those eardrops you needed.”

But it wasn’t Abby who rose from a chair at the table. Instead, she was the living and breathing embodiment of the newest hell I found myself in. To put it mildly, she was the forbidden fruit I had dared to taste. Just her memory conjured the same raging wildfire in my chest as I had earlier.

“Oh, uh, hello, Allison.” I don’t know why I hadn’t anticipated this. When we had pulled out for the new tour, she had been on board Jake and Abby’s bus. Since Abby insisted on being a full-time mother, Allison was going to be a part-time nanny for the twins. She was also using the summer break from college to fulfill a prestigious internship at the design school she attended. I couldn’t imagine how awkward it was going to be once she started working with our head stylist to get us ready for shows.

Allison gave me a shy, yet guarded smile. “Hi, Rhys. Abby’s in the shower, and Jake’s still asleep. It’s just me and the twins this morning.”

I bobbed my head as the realization dawned on me that we were truly alone for the first time since everything had gone so horribly wrong. Since that day in Savannah when I had broken her heart, we’d always been surrounded by Jake and Abby or my other bandmates. For a moment, all I could do was take in every aspect of her appearance—her waist-length dark hair that was pulled back into a ponytail, her warm brown eyes that stared questioningly at me, her tall, lean figure that I happened to be very well acquainted with. Any man with eyes and a working dick would have found her beautiful and sexy as hell. But I wasn’t supposed to look or even touch, and because I had, everything was strained between us.

Finally, I came back to myself to dumbly wave the box in my hand. “Mia said Abby needed these.”

Allison took a tentative step forward. When she reached for the drops, our hands touched, and as cliché as it sounds, I felt a zing from my fingers straight to my chest. Quickly, I jerked away from her grasp. Allison’s expression saddened at my reaction. “Thank you. Jules really needs these.”

“You’re welcome,” I replied. I glanced over at the twins who were staring me down between gumming their fists. “Well, I better go, so you can get back to feeding them.” I forced a smile. “I wouldn’t want them to eat their hands or anything.”

A tiny giggle escaped Allison’s lips at my statement. It felt like music to my ears to hear her laughing at me again. During the three weeks we’d shared in Savannah, there had been a lot of laughter between us. I’d certainly missed it. If I was honest with myself, I’d missed her.

I pushed the thought from my mind as I turned and started back down the aisle. I didn’t get far before I skidded to a stop. Frozen, my mind whirled with thoughts. I had to do something or say something. It wasn’t going to be long before someone noticed us acting awkwardly around each other. Slowly, I turned around. Allison’s gaze was fixed on me as she nervously chewed her bottom lip.

I shook my head. “Listen, things can’t keep going on like this between us.”

“I know,” she murmured.

“The past is the past, and we can’t keep letting it cripple us in the present.” I literally grimaced after the words left my lips. Not only were they a horrible cliché, but my words made it all seem so simple—as if all that had been said and done between us could be swept easily under the proverbial rug. “I know things were left pretty bad between us when I left Savannah. I am sorry for that. I hope you know I would never intentionally hurt you.”

Allison appeared unable to speak. Her chest rose and fell in harsh pants, but she finally bobbed her head. After drawing in a ragged breath, I continued on. “I think the best thing would be for us to forget what happened and try to move on.”

“If you think that’s best,” Allison replied, her voice devoid of emotion.

“I do. Really, it’s the only thing we can do.” When Allison closed her eyes as if she were in pain, I took a few tentative steps toward her. When I got closer, her eyes snapped open, and she jerked away from me.

Rubbing the hair at the base of my neck, I sighed in frustration. “We were friends before. Can’t we be friends again?”

“Of course we can,” she answered a little too quickly. The wounded look in her dark eyes betrayed her uncertainty.

But I didn’t intend to argue with her if she was even partially agreeing. Instead, I threw out my hand. “So, friends again?”

I tried ignoring how her hand trembled as she slipped it into mine. “Yes, friends.”

At that moment, the bathroom door flung open. I jerked my hand back from Allison as Abby stepped out in a robe with a towel around her head. Her eyes widened at the sight of me before she gave me a beaming smile. “Hi, Rhys. What are you doing up so early?”

“Bella woke me up.”

Abby giggled. “She’s a mess, isn’t she?”

“Oh yeah.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Abby asked, “So did you come over here hoping I was up cooking?”

I laughed. “No, no. Mia asked me to bring the drops over for Jules.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you. We were going to be in big trouble when the last dose I gave her wears off.”

“You’re welcome.” I flicked my gaze over to Allison who was now busying herself with feeding the twins some sort of rice cereal. “So I’ll see you guys later.”

“Bye, Rhys,” Abby said, as she went over to bestow kisses on the twins’ cheeks.

I caught Allison’s mournful gaze one last time before I started off the bus. It told me all I needed to know; that the words she’d just said were a total lie. Deep down, I knew they were for me as well. But what the fuck else were we supposed to do?

Three months ago a perfect storm had destroyed everything we had once been to each other. A homesick girl all alone in Savannah, my parents’ loveless world of perfection and excess, and a bottle of silver tequila became the ingredients that fed the storm that forever changed our lives. And now like the strings on a once finely tuned instrument that had bowed under the tension, we were broken, if not ruined.