Nicole Edwards: Entrusted

If life hadn’t been so incredibly cruel, Elijah would’ve been coming home to his wife. But that hadn’t been the case for the last four years because Beth was dead. His beautiful, vivacious wife had died after a long, brutal battle with cancer, leaving him with a heavy heart that still beat with her memory.

Had Beth still been alive, she would have insisted that they maintain the yard themselves. Then again, if Beth were still alive, the gardens around the house would’ve been brimming with bright flowers that she would’ve planted herself and Elijah would’ve been home long before dark, business be damned.

But, he was coming home to an empty house. Just like he had each and every night for the last four years.

Once he was parked alongside the garage, he shut off the engine and stared out into the night. He glanced over at the garage door as he sat there. He could have parked inside the garage, but that would have meant he needed to remove the multitude of boxes that still remained there. Rows of cardboard stacked on the cold concrete, collecting dust after all these years.

The boxes were full of Beth’s things. The things his mother and his sister had helped him to pack up just two years ago in an attempt to help him move forward. Not move on, because they all knew that would never happen.

He hadn’t thought it possible, but it had helped. A little.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door, climbed out of his car and then made his way into the house.

Elijah yanked at his tie as he made his way through the dimly lit rooms, ignoring everything around him. The inside was much like the outside. It was maintained by someone he paid to keep it clean and dust free. Aside from the furniture, the only things to remind him of his beautiful wife were pictures that lined the mantle on the fireplace that was never used. Other than that, the place was cold. Sterile.

Nothing like the home he’d had when Beth had been alive.

Habit had him twisting his wedding band around and around on his finger as he made his way to the bathroom.

Although Beth had been gone for years, Elijah still missed her. Terribly. He thought about her all the time and yes, he even talked to her. Talking to her made him feel better. It was the fact that she couldn’t talk back that hurt so much.

Beth had pleaded with him for months before she died, begging him to go on with his life once she was gone, to find someone who would make him happy. Someone he could love.

“I need to know that you’ll take care of yourself,” Beth said through a watery smile. Elijah knew she held her tears at bay because of him. She was so damn brave, it broke his heart.

“I’ll keep moving along,” he told her, squeezing her hand gently. “I can promise you that.”

“Promise me that you’ll find a way to be happy,” Beth had rasped. “I don’t want to leave you all alone.”

“I won’t be alone,” he lied.

“I know that,” she told him. “You’ve got your family. They’ll take good care of you. But that’s not what I mean and you know it. You’re young, Eli. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to find someone who will love you as much as I do.”

“I don’t want anyone else,” he told her, the tears that he fought so hard to keep from her breaking free. “I don’t need anyone else, Beth. You’re it for me.”

What Beth had not understood was that there wasn’t enough room in his heart for anyone else and Elijah feared there never would be. Beth was all he wanted. All he needed. Even if he only had her memory now.

Elijah would have said he would give anything to have her back, but he still remembered the last two years of her life. The terrible suffering that she endured while she and the doctors did everything in their power to beat the cancer that had eaten away at her brain.

He would never want that for her again and ultimately, he knew she was in a much better place. To want her to have to suffer just so he could have her with him would’ve been selfish.

And that was one thing Elijah wasn’t.

As far as he was concerned, he had already experienced the greatest pleasure that life had to offer. He was married to the most wonderful woman to grace the planet. And yes, he still considered them married. They would be until the day he died and went to join her.

Until then, Elijah just had to keep on moving along. Just like he told Beth he would. And tonight, he fully intended to look forward to what the future might hold. Because until he could be with Beth again, he knew he had to do what was necessary to be as happy as he could be.

After all, he had made a promise to Beth.

Samantha spent more time getting ready than she knew was necessary, but no amount of talking to herself had seemed to calm her.

She was... antsy.

Yes, antsy. That was probably the best word to describe the way she had been feeling for the last hour. Her restlessness seemed to be brought on by a mixture of nerves and anticipation. Mixed with a miniscule amount of confusion and uncertainty.

In a word, she was a mess.

A short while ago, after she and Logan had finished dinner and Sam was cleaning the kitchen, Logan had excused himself to make a call. Sam had instantly assumed the call was work related. When he came back into the kitchen to tell her he wanted to take her to Devotion again tonight, she’d realized he hadn’t been talking business.

At first, she’d been confused. They had just gone the night before and going several days in a row generally wasn’t his M.O.

Rather than question Logan’s sudden interest in going again, Sam had immediately acquiesced. Especially after she noticed the hunger that had returned to his eyes.

Whoever had been on the other end of that call had brought about the spontaneous request to go to the club and that intrigued her.

Sam had a feeling it was the dark haired man with the golden eyes from the night before. The man that Logan had seemed to want to introduce her to, but had disappeared before that opportunity arose. Her gut was telling her that Logan hadn’t just come up with the plan on his own. Sure, they were frequent visitors to the club – first Club Destiny, now Devotion – but not like this. Not as a nightly ritual.

To be honest, Sam hadn’t expected to go back to Devotion at all. At least not for a while. Not after the conversation she and Logan had shared on the drive in to the office last Wednesday.

“Are you interested in what you saw last night, baby?” Logan asked.

“Are you referring to the watching? Or are you asking if I’d like to try something like that?” she asked.

“Participating.”

Sam wasn’t sure how to explain herself. She was so confused about what was going on that she had a hard time putting all of the pieces together herself, much less coming up with a way to discuss it with Logan. She really needed more answers from him before she could put words to what she was feeling. She simply said, “I think it would be interesting to try.”

“Interesting?”

Sam didn’t answer him. She didn’t know what to say so she just waited him out, hoping they could change the subject. At least until she could get her thoughts together.

“Is this BDSM stuff something you’re interested in?” she finally asked when they were halfway to the office.

“Depends. I could be persuaded into trying.”

Sam turned to face him more fully. He sounded as though he would need as much, if not more, encouragement than she would to move forward with it. It only added to her confusion. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”