T. Leigh - Gorgeous Chaos

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Her heart swelled. The green-eyed boy loved her, and she had a family. She finally felt complete. “I love you, too.”

“ARE YOU SURE ABOUT this, Olivia?” Alexander asked as he drove down the familiar streets of Mystic, the barren trees beginning to bud.

“Yes. I need to see it,” she responded firmly.

“Okay,” he exhaled, steering through the gates of the cemetery. Helping her out of the car, he wrapped his arms around her. “You’re a strong girl, you know that?”

Olivia blushed.

“And that’s why I love you so fucking much. Now, come.” He held her hand and led her to the three gravestones he had become so accustomed to seeing once a year for the past twenty-two years. They trekked through the dew on the grass on an early March morning and stopped in front of the three marble headstones.

“Wow,” she said under her breath almost in disbelief at the sight in front of her. A tear escaped.

Alexander squeezed her hand. “We can leave if it’s too much.”

She shook her head. “No. I need to do this so that I can move on with my life.” She turned to stare into the green eyes that she had loved since the day she was born, even if she didn’t know it. “My life with you.”

Alexander smiled. “Okay. But the minute it becomes too much, you let me know and we’ll go.”

Olivia nodded before breaking away from him. Clutching the stuffed animal that held all the answers in her hand, she walked over to her mother’s grave. She gently ran her hand across the headstone and set Mr. Bear in front of it. “Thank you, Mama. I did what you said. I held on to Mr. Bear. All those people are finally behind bars. At least, now, your death wasn’t for nothing.” She looked up and saw several butterflies flutter from behind the grave. She was caught by surprise and immediately thought of her mother’s words about how she would know when she was in love.

“Tomorrow’s my wedding day. Alexander and I are finally getting married…a real wedding this time, instead of one of our make-believe ones.” She smiled at the memory of all the games she used to make Alexander play with her. “He found me even after I was taken away from everyone when you died. He never gave up hope that I was still alive. He never forgot about me. All those years, I thought that I had no family, but I did…one that was searching for me. One that is about to celebrate the biggest day of my life with me tomorrow. I wish you could be here for it.” Her chin quivered as she looked at the vibrant red roses lying in front of her mother’s grave. “I love you, Mama. Thank you for loving me.” She pressed her lips to her hand before leaving a kiss on her mother’s headstone.

Taking a deep breath and trying to find the inner strength to get through what she needed to, she walked to where her father had supposedly been buried for all those years…his fake grave. Memories of that night back in August flashed through her mind. Her knees gave out and she sank to the ground, unable to hold back the tears.

“Olivia!” Alexander exclaimed, rushing to her side and wrapping his arms around her. “Come on, let’s go. You don’t have to do this.” He brought her head into his chest, soothing her sobs. “This is too much. I’ll have that fucking gravestone removed. You shouldn’t have to be reminded…”

Olivia vehemently shook her head. “No! It stays. The man I knew as my father did die that day. The man I met last summer was not my father. I need it to stay, as a reminder.”

He sighed. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

She nodded, bringing her head out of his chest, and looked at her father’s gravestone. “Can I just have a minute, please?”

“Of course.” Alexander planted a soft kiss on her forehead before leaving her.

She turned her head, staring at the grave belonging to the man that, at one point, ruined her life. But the more she thought about it, the less that seemed true. He didn’t ruin her life. If one thing differed, she may not be where she was at that moment. If she wasn’t ripped from her friends and family, she may have grown apart from them eventually, Alexander included. She didn’t even want to think about not being with him. He was her life. He was her world so, for that, she held no grudges.

“Hi, Daddy,” Olivia said. “I know you’re not buried here, but the memories of the man I knew and loved are. I just wanted to say that I forgive you. I need to forgive you so I can move on. You will never be able to ruin my life again. For the longest time after I got out of the hospital this past August, that’s what I thought. I was so angry at you for ripping me away from my friends and family. But that anger won’t change anything. For me to move on, I need to bury that anger. And the only way I know how is to forgive you for what you did to me…this past August and that August all those years ago. You don’t deserve my forgiveness, but I need to be the bigger person. So I forgive you. After today, I’ll never have to think about you again…at least not the man you turned into.” She slowly stood up. “Good-bye, Daddy.” She gently caressed the headstone. “Your Livvy will always love you, but Olivia will not.” She turned away, tears streaming down her face.

“Olivia, angel. We can come back later…” Alexander pulled her body into his, hating to see how upset she was.

“No. I need to see it. I’m stronger than this.”

“I know you are, but it’s okay if you want to go.”

Olivia shook her head. “No. I only need one more minute. I just want to see it.” She turned away and walked to a smaller headstone, yellow sunflowers lying in front. She glanced over her shoulder, grinning. “Been here recently, Mr. Burnham?”

He shrugged. “It’s a standing order. You always loved sunflowers. You called them…”

“Giant daffodils,” she recalled. “You were right. They look nothing like daffodils.”

“Yeah.” A tear fell down Alexander’s face, weeping for the loss of his best friend all those years ago. He took a step toward Olivia, brushing a wayward curl away from her eye. “I wish I could have known you all those years. I think that’s what hurts the most.”

“But if one thing was different, we wouldn’t be where we are now…about to get married.” She stood on her toes, brushing her lips against his, savoring the feeling of his mouth on her cold skin. “Now please. Take me home and make love to me before Kiera gets here and banishes you to your house until tomorrow afternoon.”

His eyes grew wide, forgetting that he wouldn’t be able to see Olivia that night. “Yes, ma’am!” He scooped her up in his arms and gingerly placed her in the front seat of the car. He drove rather carelessly through the streets of downtown Mystic before pulling up in front of Olivia’s childhood home.

“This place brings back some great memories,” he commented after Olivia opened the front door, granting them both entry.

“You can reminisce later, Alexander.” She took off her coat and walked up to him. Unbuttoning his jacket, she stood mere breaths away. “Right now, I need you inside of me.” She looked into his vibrant green eyes and felt shivers run through her body.

He crushed his lips to hers and pushed her against the wall of the kitchen. “God, Olivia. Just a simple kiss and I’m ready to ravage you.”

She leaned her head back, giving him access to her neck. He nipped her earlobe, planting rough kisses on her skin. She moaned out in response.

“You like that?” he asked coyly.

“Yes,” she exhaled. “I need to feel your lips on me. Don’t stop.”