T. Leigh - Gorgeous Chaos

He noticed her reaction and proceeded with caution. “I’m sorry, Olivia. I’m not trying to upset you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I just want you to be safe.”

She stared at him, her eyes intense. Why was Simon being so nice to her now? It didn’t make any sense. Then again, maybe he was able to gain some clarity and insight into his life while he was in prison.

“I heard you’re engaged to Alexander Burnham,” Simon said quietly, hoping she would keep talking to him if he changed the subject.

She avoided his eyes, blushing. “I am.”

“Good. He’s a good man, Olivia. He can protect you.”

“Why are you telling me all of this, Simon?” She tilted her head and eyed him suspiciously. “What’s your goal here? What do you hope to get out of it?”

He exhaled loudly, running his hands through his hair, exasperated. It reminded her of Alexander. “I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I just want to make amends for my past behavior, and maybe telling you what I know will mean the difference between life and death. These people are very dangerous so please be careful. I guess that’s what I wanted to say… And that I’m sorry.” His eyes met hers. “I’m scared for you.” He got up and began to walk away.

Olivia watched as he strolled along the path, dodging other runners out for their morning exercise. Could she trust him? He knew so much. “Simon! Wait!” she shouted, running to catch up to him.

A grin crept across his face. He paused and readjusted his expression into a solemn look before turning around. “Yes, Olivia?”

“I just wanted to say…” Her voice trailed off.

“Yes?”

She took a deep breath. “I forgive you,” she said, knowing how difficult it must have been for him to tell her everything. The least she could do was forgive him for what had happened in the past. Maybe it would help him continue to grow. “You scared me back in August, but I’m not going to hold that grudge anymore. I hope you can move on from this and that my forgiveness gives you some peace. You did the right thing telling me what's going on. I value your honesty.” She took his hands in hers, their eyes locking, thankful that one person in her life was finally being truthful with her.

“All I ever wanted was to get to know you, Olivia,” he said sweetly. “You just made it so damn hard. You kept everyone away, and it nearly broke my heart,” he explained, his voice shaking. “I wanted you so badly, but all you were looking for was a fuck buddy. Then when this guy found out that I was sleeping with you, he came to me with a proposition and…well, I wasn’t born into money like you were. I’ve had to struggle my entire life to make ends meet. But, in the end, I know it wasn’t worth it. I ruined whatever we had going between us…”

“Simon, please…” she said, releasing his hands, glancing down at the cobblestone path.

“I just need to get this off my chest.” His unyielding tone made Olivia look back into his eyes. “The day I walked into your studio to work on that construction project, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on, and I still believe that to this very day. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what you need. I will never hurt you again. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did. That’s why I need your forgiveness. I know there’s no future for us, and I’m glad that you’ve found someone who makes you happy. I just wish that you had let me in all those months ago. Maybe things would have turned out differently.” Simon turned to walk away, leaving Olivia speechless.

As soon as he walked onto Charles Street and looked over his shoulder to make sure that she hadn’t followed him, he picked up his cell phone. “Donovan. It’s Simon. I think she bought it. You’re a fucking genius, man.”

“No. I just know people.”

OLIVIA CIRCLED OUT OF Boston Common Park, her conversation with Simon replaying in her mind for the remainder of her short run. It was unmistakable that he had changed quite a bit since August when he came at her with a knife. He now seemed like an entirely different person. Maybe being in prison gave him some perspective about where his life was headed if he didn’t get his act together. The pain on his face when he confessed his feelings for her was heartbreaking, and she felt bad for the way she treated him during their brief “relationship”.

Still, Simon’s warning lay heavy on her mind. She always thought that Alexander was simply being overprotective, but maybe he knew something, too. He had mentioned the possibility of Simon having a connection to Mark Kiddish. That must have been the guy who wanted to get to Olivia. Regardless, she was certain that Simon’s apology was genuine. He looked desperate and distraught as he begged for forgiveness. She couldn’t imagine what he had gone through those past several months sitting in prison, having to live with his stupid mistake.

Olivia ran down Commonwealth Avenue, slowing to a stop in front of her house. She looked up at the brownstone that she had grown to love over the years. The three-story brick building was her first home when she moved back to Boston. It was symbolic to her of finally putting down roots, but now she would put down new roots with Alexander on the other side of the city.

They had discussed what she should do with her house. After a few heated arguments, she decided to hold on to the property for a while and perhaps rent it out. The housing market had started to turn back up, but she wasn’t ready to part with her home just yet.

She punched the code into the door and ran upstairs to start packing her things. She was sweaty from her run so she hopped in the shower, rinsing off the salt that had settled on her skin. Once she felt refreshed, she put on a change of clothes and set about boxing up her life.

After several hours of going through her belongings, she heard her phone buzzing. She glanced at the caller ID and saw Alexander’s photo flashing on the screen. Crap . She had forgotten to turn the ringer back on. Hesitantly, she answered his call.

“Olivia…?”

“Yes?” she breathed.

“Where are you?” He knew perfectly well where she was, but he had no intention of telling her that he had been sitting in his office, tracking her every movement as if he didn’t have anything better to do on a Sunday morning.

“I’m at my house packing up some boxes.”

“Would you like some help?” he asked, his voice softening. “I can see if I can get some movers to come and take care of that for you.”

“No. That’s okay,” she responded, glancing around her bedroom at all her belongings, starting to feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the job ahead of her. “Some of this stuff is kind of personal. I’d rather do it all myself.”

“Do you want me to come and lend a hand, or would you rather be alone?”

She could hear the hurt in his voice. “I’m sorry about this morning, Alexander. I just feel a little smothered sometimes. I know you’re just trying to keep me safe, and I really do appreciate that but, sometimes, it’s just a little overwhelming.”

“I know, Olivia,” he sighed. If she only knew what he was trying to protect her from. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to scare you off. You just have to tell me how you feel. I can’t read your mind. I promise I’ll try to not be as much of an overbearing asshole.”

Olivia giggled. “Okay. I’ll try to do better, too.”

“So, want me to come over?” His voice was brimming with hope.

“It would be a shame to waste this opportunity to put you to work.”

He chuckled. “Okay. I’ll be there in a bit. Carter and Marshall are out front of your house should you need anything in the meantime.”