Caisey Quinn - Last Second Chance

This is the series I never expected to write, much less publish. Addiction has affected my family in so many ways, none of them good. For so long, it was something we hid, shoved, and kicked behind closed doors. It was a battle I felt alone in. Protecting the people I loved from the judging eyes of the perfect world felt like a full-time job and left very little room for anything else.

But I was fortunate enough to find my way out of the darkness. I found a light in writing, in friendship, and in being able to trust. Van’s head is a hard place to be for me, one I was afraid to venture into. But he wouldn’t leave me alone until I told his story. Without the support and encouragement of so many, I never would’ve finished this book.

Throughout my life, I have learned that there are people in this world, sometimes complete strangers even, who, without doing anything other than being themselves, give you the unspoken permission to share the deepest, darkest parts of yourself. People whose eyes won’t go wide or feet won’t begin to walk backward, whose arms continue reaching out, even when you’ve removed your carefully crafted and polished exterior to expose the ugliest, most gruesome truths that live in your soul.

There are so many paths and decisions and unseen gravitational forces that propel us in all directions every passing moment, compounded by the grand and infinitesimal choices we make every day. But sometimes, the vast elements of the universe align for a brief moment in time leading us to the beating hearts of the ones who will be those people for us.

When that happens, when two creatures find in one another this rare and purely unconditional form of love and patience, and a marrow-deep level of understanding, the kind that accepts mistakes, flaws, and garish, gaping wounds that surpass flesh and bone without apology or remorse or expecting a reward other than the same unyielding acceptance, it can only be the result of one simple gift from the universe, or higher power, or the entity on which we choose to build the foundation of our faith...

A miracle.

I am grateful for my miracles—each and every one of you.

If you haven’t found yours yet, stay strong. It is truly darkest before the dawn.

<3 Caisey

Falling off a horse for the first time changes you. Stella Jo Chandler knew that better than anyone. After fourteen years of riding without anything more than a minor incident, her faithful thoroughbred, Angel’s Breath, fell at the 75th Annual Kentucky Showmaster’s Showcase, sending them both to the ground in the blink of an eye. Pinned under the massive animal, Stella Jo struggled to stay conscious despite the black spots blurring her vision.

She told herself to breathe, that it was okay. It wasn’t really, though it could’ve been much worse.

Eighteen-year-old Stella’s leg was broken in two places and required pins and multiple surgeries to repair. She was unable to walk for eight weeks, and even when she did, there was a slight limp in her gait that hadn’t been there before. Angel’s Breath had to be put down. Stella hadn’t so much as gotten on a horse since then. Kind of difficult when you lived on a horse ranch. Unless you moved away to college and made up a million excuses about why you could never make it home for the holidays.

The pride of the Chandler family had been wounded irreparably. Dreams of their only daughter bringing home the Triple Crown and one day taking over the family’s sprawling Texas ranch, had died that day in Kentucky. Or at least they did for her.

All that nonsense about getting back on the horse? Bullshit as far as Stella Jo was concerned.

Stella Jo Chandler had just lifted her steaming caramel macchiato to her lips when she heard the steady buzzing of her phone vibrating in her purse. She didn’t even have to look to know it was one of two numbers calling.

It was either her mom calling again to ask whether or not she was moving back home after graduation next week, or Dr. Juan Ramirez, the Director of the Second Chance Ranch calling to see if she had decided to accept his job offer. She knew this because the only two other people who called her—her roommate Tess Bradley and her ex-boyfriend Nash Douglas—were here. Together. Naturally. Because, of all of the Starbucks locations near campus, of course they would pick this one.

It wasn’t like they were sneaking around. And she was the one who’d broken it off with Nash more than a month ago. She just hadn’t expected him to ask her roommate out so soon after. She damn sure hadn’t expected Tess to want to go out with him. And yet, here they were.

When Tess had asked if Stella would be okay with them going out, she’d said that it was fine. Because what right did she have to keep them from hooking up if they wanted to? No right whatsoever. And she didn’t actually miss him exactly. The twinge of hurt and sadness that stabbed her every time she saw them came more from missing being with someone— or at least being wanted by someone. He hadn’t even looked upset when she’d broken it off. More like relieved.

Even though Tess had been discreet about her new relationship with Stella’s ex, it didn’t stop the seemingly mandatory awkward run-ins that occurred from time to time. Fate could be such a conniving bitch.

After tossing the happy couple an obligatory wave and the biggest smile she could manage, Stella leaned down to pull her new iPhone from her designer bag. Both had been given to her as bribes from her mother. Not that they were going to get Candace Chandler what she wanted necessarily, but Stella was a broke college student about to be up to her eyeballs in loan debt. No sense in turning down free goods. She was nothing if not practical.

“Hey, Mama,” she answered.

The woman on the other end responded in kind with a practiced cheerfulness Stella was familiar with. “Well, Estella Josephine Chandler, I’m surprised you could be bothered to answer. How are finals going?”

Stella sipped her tongue-scorching drink. She nodded at her roommate and Nash when they waved to her on their way out, wondering if she was the reason they were taking their coffees to go.

“They’re going. Two down, two to go. I was just settling in to study.” Double majoring in psychology and business at Texas A&M was a heavy load, and Stella was exhausted. Probably wouldn’t have been as tough if she weren’t a perfectionist dead set on graduating magna cum laude.

“Okay, well I won’t keep you,” her mom said evenly. “Just wanted to check in and wish you luck.”

Now there was a bold-faced lie if ever she’d heard one.

“Thanks, Mama. And no, I haven’t made a decision yet. I’m going to Dallas next weekend to meet with Dr. Ramirez and then I’ll let you know something.”

The truth was that she had pretty much made up her mind that—unless the Second Chance Ranch was a disgusting hellhole—she was most likely taking the job. Even after four years away from her family home, she still wasn’t ready to go back. Kind of funny that, whichever option she decided on, both would put her right smack in the middle of a horse ranch. Really wasn’t that surprising since Stella loved horses, she just had no desire to get back on one.