Jay Crownover - Nash

I got out of the car and called the pizza place that knew me on a first-name basis. I ordered dinner and was putting my phone in my back pocket when a female voice swearing and a loud thumping caught my attention.

My neighbor was standing outside of her closed apartment door kicking it solidly with the toe of a high heel that was pinker than pink. She was using language that made me grin, and scowled at me when I asked her if I could help her with anything. She shoved her dark red hair over her shoulder and put her hands on her hips. Today she looked like she had come from some kind of fashion show, minus the disgruntled expression on her face.

“I always lock the door behind me. Any door, every door, which is normally a good thing, but not when my keys are on the other side. I left my cell in the car, and I was only two steps into the hallway when I realized I didn’t grab my freaking keys.” She groaned dramatically and threw her hands up. “So my phone is stuck in my car and my keys are stuck in my apartment and I am an idiot.”

I lifted an eyebrow at her because she growled and shoved her hand through her hair.

“You can use my phone to call the landlord, though it might be faster to call a locksmith. I ordered a pizza; you can come over and hang out for a minute.”

Her eyebrows shot up and she frowned at me. “Isn’t that gonna make the girlfriend freak out?”

I had no clue. “I don’t know.”

“About the freak-out or the girlfriend?”

“Both. Do you want to use my phone or not?”

She sighed and followed me into my apartment. I handed her my phone and she used the Internet to find a locksmith that would be there within an hour. She threw herself on my sofa and stared at the ceiling.

“If I could get into my trunk, I have a lockpick set. I bet I could break in.”

I offered her a beer and took a seat on the opposite side of the couch.

“Why do you have that?”

She went on like she hadn’t even heard me. “And my partner … jeez when he hears about this, I’m never living it down. I locked us out of the squad car two weeks ago.”

What? “Royal?”

She turned to look at me and I could see she was aggravated. “Yeah?”

“What exactly do you do?”

She huffed out a breath and rolled the beer between her hands. “I’m a cop.”

Again, what? “Seriously?” I couldn’t keep the disbelief out of my tone.

“Yeah. I told you that you wouldn’t believe me if I told you what I did. No one does. I graduated from the academy last year, so I’m a newbie cop, but still a cop.”

I let my disbelieving gaze drop to her silly shoes and flashy outfit. “Really?” I couldn’t picture her with a badge and a gun to save my life.

“I’m still a girl, but yeah, I’m a patrol officer. That’s why my hours are so all over the place and why I think I got a good read on people.”

There was a knock on the door and I went to retrieve the pizza. I put it down in front of her on the coffee table and didn’t bother to find a plate. It wasn’t like I was trying to impress her or anything. She rolled her eyes and fetched a slice.

“Well, your instinct that you had about Saint was way off. You said she was into me, had a crush, but lately I feel like all she has me doing is chasing my own tail.”

Royal laughed a little and I thought really it meant something that I wasn’t the least bit attracted to her. I was so hung up on Saint that even though I knew my neighbor was inarguably beautiful and fun, she just wasn’t it for me.

“Nash, I’ve seen her. When she’s coming, when she’s going, she always has the same look on her face. She’s excited to see you, to be with you, but underneath that she is terrified. I don’t know the whole story, but if she’s making you chase your tail, believe me when I tell you there is no way she isn’t spinning herself in just as many circles trying to catch her own as well.”

God, I hoped so, because if I was the only one feeling dizzy and nauseous, it made this ride way less fun.

“We went to high school together, ran in pretty different circles. I bumped into her at the ER last year when a buddy got into a bar fight. She had a thing for me back then and apparently thought I was saying really terrible things about her and it left a mark on her. I was saying really terrible things because I was a hothead and was kind of a jerk, but they weren’t about her. Now she can’t seem to get over it, even though it feels like it was in another lifetime.”

She gave me a hard look and reached for another slice of pizza.

“A girl’s first love is a big deal. We never really get over it.”

“I don’t think it was love.”

She pointed the top of her beer bottle at me and squinted her dark eyes. “I think you’re wrong. If she’s holding on to it that tightly, still scared you’re going to turn on her, hurt her again even though you’ve obviously changed and clearly care about her, it was first love.”

I wanted to argue, but I had seen how powerful first love could be. Shaw had loved Rule since the first time she laid her eyes on him, and even though it had taken years for him to see it, she had never wavered in her devotion to him. Cora’s first love had broken her heart by being unfaithful and abandoning her, it had almost cost her the perfect love she was searching for when Rome came barreling into her life. First love was indeed powerful, and if I had really tarnished it for Saint, there stood a really good chance she might never let me in, would never trust me enough.

I was going to tell my pretty neighbor how much I thought that sucked when there was a light knock on the door. Thinking it was the locksmith, I got up and swung the door open. I felt my jaw go slack in surprise when I came face-to-face with the girl I couldn’t get off my mind. She looked like she had just come from work. Her hair was up in a bun on the top of her head and she still had her scrubs on. I was going to ask her how she had gotten off so early but her gaze was locked on Royal and her mouth was a tight, flat line. She didn’t even glance at me.

“Hey.”

Those storm-cloud-colored eyes flicked up to mine and a soft pink flooded into her face.

“Hey.”

“You got off work early.”

Her gaze shot back to Royal, who had gotten up and wandered over to the door.

“I did. One of the other girls came in early by chance, and I was worried about how you were doing after your visit.” There was a definite thread of accusation in her tone.

I frowned down at her, hurt she thought I would just substitute time spent with her with anyone that would do. She was the only one who made me feel better after visiting with Phil. I wished I could make her believe that. Royal peeked around both of us as the front security door swung open and a guy in work clothes carrying a toolbox poked his head in.

“Someone locked out?”

Saint shifted nervously in front of me as Royal slid past both of us. She winked at me and patted Saint on the shoulder as she walked toward her own door.

“Thanks for the rescue, Nash. He’s a good one, girlie, don’t let him get away.”

I took a step back and watched, literally watched, while Saint struggled with whether she was going to follow me inside or not. It was all over her pale face, and the indecision made me feel slightly sick. I decided if she didn’t come in, then this was it. I couldn’t do it anymore. I liked her—hell, way more than liked her—but this unknown, this chase, was just one more thing in my life that was heaping with complications. As much as I wanted this to work, just plain wanted her, at some point she was going to have to give me something solid to hold on to.

She reached up and started to pull out the tie holding all her copper hair up. She looked away from me and scooted by so that our chests barely brushed together. I closed the door and followed her over to where she sat on the arm of the couch.