Kendall Ryan - When We Fall

One thing was certain: I did not deserve an angel like McKenna. The only explanation for her presence in my life was that my mom had sent her from heaven to look after us all. It was the only thing that made sense. I’d known she was my angel right from the very beginning.

I wanted to make love to her over and over again, taking my time like it might be my last time touching her. The last time I had the privilege of holding her naked body against mine. Because when she found out about my connection to the lawyer, I was all too aware that all of this could end.

McKenna

Amanda and her baby girl, AnnMarie—named for both of her grandmas—were being released from the hospital today. And since I felt so guilty that I hadn’t even visited once, I’d offered to pick her up and give them a ride home. Just as I was stepping into my shoes and shrugging on my coat, Brian opened the door to our apartment.

“I wasn’t expecting you until later,” I said with surprise. “Did you drive yourself?”

He lifted his arms out to his sides. “Good as new. Not even a limp. I can operate a car and everything.”

Much-needed laughter bubbled its way up my throat. The last few days had been too tense, and it was good to see his smiling face.

He gathered me in his arms for a hug. “Damn, it’s good to be home,” he said.

“It’s good to see you on your feet.”

“Where are you off to?” he asked, taking in my appearance.

“I was actually going to pick up a friend and her brand new baby from the hospital, then drive them home.”

“You still have that rental car?” he asked.

I nodded sheepishly. “I was supposed to return it days ago. But it turns out I like having my own wheels.”

Brian chuckled. “How about this. I’ll follow you to the rental lot so you can return it, and then I’ll give you a lift to the hospital so we can get your friend.”

I nodded. “If you don’t mind, that would be really helpful.”

“Are you kidding? I’ve been in a bed for almost a month. The last thing I want to do is sit inside alone and watch more TV.”

He dropped his bags in his bedroom, used the restroom, and then we were on the road within minutes. As promised, Brian followed me to the rental lot and waited while I returned the rental car and paid the bill, then we were en route to the hospital.

“So…you and Knox…” he started.

When I was in Indiana for all those weeks, Brian knew my relationship with Knox was on the rocks. Now he was fishing for information, but I couldn’t blame him. He had to be curious, and I’d been pretty closed off about my relationship.

“We’re back together. I love him, Bri. I love being with him and his brothers. And I think my parents would have wanted me to be happy.”

He nodded silently, looking out at the road. “Yeah, they would have,” he said after several minutes of silence. “They would be really proud of you, you know.”

It was the first time I’d heard him acknowledge that, and irrational tears filled my eyes.

“Guess it’s time I let you go,” he said softly. “Shit, I’ve had a crush on you since the first grade. You can’t say I didn’t try.”

I chuckled lightly. “You put in a valiant effort.”

He reached over and took my hand. “Knox is lucky to have you.”

“Thanks, Bri.”

His injury and time recouping seemed to bring him a new sense of peace and clarity. It had given him a lot of time to think. And my leaving him while he was still recovering to return to Knox must have sent a stronger message than I realized. I’d chosen Knox over him in every way possible.

When we arrived at the hospital, we checked in at the security desk and were directed to the third-floor maternity wing. I thought Brian might just wait for us in the waiting room, but he insisted on helping, saying there would probably be bags to carry.

I decided I liked his new helpfulness and sense of peace about our friends-only status. We paused outside Amanda’s room and I gave a knock on the door.

“Come in!” she called, her voice sounding clear and happy.

I poked my head in and made sure she was dressed. She was wearing stretch pants and a cute top, and had a big smile across her face.

“I have my friend Brian with me…that okay?” I asked.

She nodded. “Of course. Thanks for coming.” She waved us in.

We entered the room and I gave Amanda a big hug before peeking inside the bassinet holding the tiny baby.

“Aw…” I gushed as a rush of emotions hit me at once. Amanda was a mom. And AnnMarie was so tiny and pink. She was absolutely precious. A miracle baby in more ways than one.

While I held the baby and cuddled her in the nearby rocking chair, I was vaguely aware of Amanda and Brian getting to know each other. Oops . Apparently I’d forgotten my manners along with making formal introductions as soon as I’d seen the baby. But Brian was standing with his hands in his pockets and a big grin on his face, and Amanda was laughing at something he’d said, so I focused on the sweet little thing in my arms again. She was so light, I could hold her forever. Her little pink face turned up to mine, and she lazily peeked open one eye and yawned. I couldn’t help but giggle.

“So she’s all good, despite being born early?” I asked.

Amanda nodded, pulling her attention away from Brian. “Yeah, she’s good to go. She had a hard time regulating her body temperature, which is why we had to stay a couple extra days, but she’s completely healthy. She’s almost five pounds already, and eats like a horse.”

The pride in Amanda’s smile touched something inside me. It seemed we were all growing.

“So I hear we’re here to spring you out of here,” Brian said, looking at Amanda again.

“Yes, I’m more than ready to leave. It’s impossible to get a decent night’s sleep with nurses coming in every couple of hours and turning on the lights, poking this, prodding that.”

I handed her daughter back to her. “I hate to tell you this, but I think your nights of sleeping are over.”

“Yeah, I know.” She smiled down at the baby in her arms. “But she’s worth it.”

“May I?” Brian asked, stopping in front of Amanda and looking down at the baby.

“Oh, sure,” she said and passed him the infant.

Watching Brian hold the baby only made her look tinier. He cooed something unintelligible down at her while Amanda and I swooned. What was it about a man and a baby?

While Amanda bundled AnnMarie up in the car seat, Brian and I gathered up her bags. “Do you have everything you need at home?” I asked. I knew the birth had been a surprise, and aside from our thrift-store shopping a while back, I didn’t know if she was prepared to take the baby home.

“I have a bassinet for her to sleep in, diapers, wipes, and some clothes. I’m breastfeeding because it’s, well, it’s free and I can’t afford baby formula. Besides, it’s not as bad as I thought it’d be. So yeah, I think we have everything we need.”

I nodded. “Okay.” It sounded like she had the essentials covered. I realized babies really didn’t need much. Despite all the plastic gear and baby products on the market, Amanda was embracing the simple side of things.

Brian’s brows scrunched together. “If you need anything else, you let us know. Any friend of McKenna’s is a friend of mine.”