Лиза Джонс: Beneath the Secrets

“If it were your brother—”

“I’d stay alive to keep fighting for him.”

Air rushed from her lungs. “I’m not giving up on my sister.”

“Neither are we.”

“Help us find her from behind the scenes,” Luke suggested. “You’ll know everything that’s happening.”

“We’re in this all the way,” Royce promised. “We would be no matter what, but you’re with Blake. That makes you family.”

A rush of unfamiliar emotions all but doubled Kara over. She wasn’t sure what impacted her more. Her doubt about being with Blake after tonight’s events or the use of the word family. She had no family. She wasn’t sure she had Blake. She wasn’t sure she had Myla.

A loud moan coming from the other room was the escape Kara claimed. “I need to go check on Kyle.” It was lame but it was all she had.

Royce stared at her another few seconds and then stepped aside. Kara wasted no time darting away, and damn it, her eyes were burning. She didn’t even know what she was feeling, just that it was powerful and she couldn’t control it any more than anything else lately, it seemed. What was it about Walker men that did this to her?

Inside the next room, Kyle was nowhere in sight and she kept moving toward the bathroom, needing to do something, anything, to keep from crumbling. Rounding the doorway, she found Kyle sitting against the wall between the toilet and the sink, head against the wall, eyes shut, knees lifted.

“Go away,” he groaned without opening his eyes.

Kara went to the tub and sat down. “You were screaming for me a few minutes ago.”

His lashes lifted and he fixed her in a bloodshot stare. “I fluctuate between capable of throttling you one minute to fantasizing about it while hanging over the toilet.”

“At least you have something to occupy your mind,” she said mildly, reaching for a soda on the sink and squatting down in front of him. “Drink. It’ll help.”

“You did hear the part about me wanting to throttle you, right?”

“Yes, but you’re less intimidating than three Walker brothers in one room, so I’ll take my chances. Drink.”

His brow furrowed. “I’m not sure how to take that, but I think you just insulted me.” He reached for the drink and gulped down several swallows before setting the can on the floor beside him. “You drugged me and now you come in and play nursemaid. Feeling guilty?”

“Yes,” she admitted. “But someone had to save Blake from himself.” And suddenly it occurred to Kara to be angry at Kyle and Blake’s brothers for letting him go after Alvarez. “Nobody else was doing it. You all just let him chase his death wish.” She started to get up but Kyle captured her arm and she grimaced. “What is it with you men manhandling me?”

“You think I’d let him go in there if I thought he was going to do something stupid?”

“You did let him.”

“He has himself in check. If I didn’t think so, I would have tied him down myself rather than let him go. Do you know about Whitney?”

“Yes.”

“Do you care about Blake?”

“Yes,” she said, and her chest tightened with the words, with her fear that Blake would go after Alvarez and end up dead. “Yes, very much.”

“Then recognize that if you’re with Blake, you’re with his past. It’s a part of who he is. Think about what Alvarez killing you would do to him. You shouldn’t have gone tonight.”

“You don’t seem to get it, Kyle. If I hadn’t have gone, he would have killed Alvarez and himself in the process.”

“Before he met you, yes. Now, no. I’m not buying that. Protecting you and finding your sister gave him a reason to live.”

“You weren’t there.”

“Did he kill Alvarez?”

“No, but—”

“Did he have the chance?”

“Yes, but—”

“Then I’m right. He’s in check. Before meeting you, Alvarez would have been dead the instant Blake set eyes on him.”

“He wanted to. He almost did.”

“But he didn’t. You shouldn’t have been there. You’re too close to this. You saved him, Kara. You brought him back to us, which is exactly why none of us are going to let you destroy him again.” He paled and let go of her arm to lean over the toilet. “Go. Get out of here.”

Destroy him? How and why would she destroy him? Kara backed away from Kyle and sat back down on the edge of the tub, waiting to ask those questions. When he sank back against the wall she handed him a towel. “You okay?”

He glanced at her and snatched the towel. “Can’t a guy throw up in peace? Why are you still here?”

“I wouldn’t hurt Blake.”

“Then don’t get killed. You die, you’ll take him with you.”

“I’m a federal agent, Kyle. I’m going to be in danger.”

“Believe me, I’m aware of that and so is he.”

Her hands went to the tub, steadying herself. “You think I’m bad for him.”

“I think you’re the best thing that could have happened to him.”

Baffled, she shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

“He’s going to struggle with your job, but he’ll get through it—if you help him. But damn, woman, wake up. Alvarez killed Whitney. How do you think the idea of Alvarez killing you affects him? If you die, he’ll die with you. We’ll find your sister. I’ll find her. You have my word. I will not stop until I do.”

Kara blinked at the vehement declaration. This man whom she barely knew was vowing to save her sister. So were Blake’s brothers. And she believed them. She wasn’t alone. She didn’t have to take insane risks with no backup. Because of Blake. Kara pushed to her feet, realizing there was actually one big risk she had to take.

Without another word to Kyle, Kara rushed out of the bathroom and tracked a path to the other room, ready to tell Luke and Royce to get lost, only to find them gone. Blake sat on the edge of the mattress, fixing her with a tormented look that tore at her heart. She pulled the door shut behind her and rushed toward him, falling on her knees in front of him. She took a deep breath and then made her confession. “Blake, I…”

Chapter Five

“…I love you, and I’ve never said that to anyone. If you don’t—”

Blake slid his hands into Kara’s hair, pulling her lips to his, his tongue sweeping into her mouth, and she tasted like the love she’d proclaimed, like sweet surrender and a chance at happiness he never thought he’d know again. But no matter how much he wanted happiness to be as easy as a confession, it wasn’t.

He tore his mouth from hers, staring down at her, this woman who’d pulled him from a certain grave. She loved him and it was heaven, but it was also a hell he couldn’t escape. They couldn’t escape. His thumb stroked her cheek. “I love you, too, Kara, but you need to know what ‘more’ means with me.”

He watched relief wash over her expression, her body softening into his, as if she’d been on edge, as if she actually doubted his feelings. “Whatever you are, Blake,” she vowed, “whatever you have been or will be, I’m here. Like I’ve never been with anyone in my life.”

He wanted nothing more than those words, and to kiss her again, to make love to her and show her how much she meant to him, but it wasn’t that simple. He knew how messed up he was over Whitney and how deep that damage ran. How it had impacted not only who he was, but who he and Kara, would be together. He owed it to her to make sure she did, too.

Blake moved off the bed to join Kara on the floor. He moved behind her, his knees straddling her knees, so that she faced the bed, her back to his chest. He inhaled on regret, hating that for a few minutes, he was about to make her feel uncomfortable, but he had to do this. Without any preamble, no soft words, no seductive caresses, he tugged her dress up her body, over her head, and then tossed it away. Before her arms were even down, he reached for her bra and unhooked it, shoving it forward down her arms so she’d get rid of it. He wasn’t gentle. He wasn’t tender. He didn’t kiss her or caress her. He was what he’d been before her, what the hell of his life had made him. What she needed to fully understand.