Philippa Carr - Pool of St. Branok

Grace and Ben! Could there really be anything in the suggestion? Most women would admire Ben and it was a long time since Grace had become a widow. Lizzie had turned to Grace. Had Ben, too?

I thought then how foolish I was. I had had an offer of marriage and a peaceful life from a man whom I could trust and I was refusing it because of my feelings for someone who was out of reach and, in any case, of whom I should always be unsure.

My mother and I returned to London with Rebecca. The Ransomes were very reluctant for us to go. They came to the door to say goodbye as the carriage arrived to take us to the station. Fiona and Alec waved frantically. Janet said: “You must come again … soon.” Timothy was coming to the station with us and Fanny stood looking at me reproachfully. Rebecca burst into tears which was the most effective way of saying she had enjoyed the visit. We could only pacify her by telling her that we should be coming again soon.

At the station Timothy pressed my hand and said: “I shall see you at the Mission on Wednesday.” And we said goodbye.

On the way home my mother eulogized about their being such a charming family and how pleased my father would be to hear the result of our visit. She did look at me with slight reproach I knew because there had not been an announcement of my engagement to Timothy and they all gleaned that it was my fault.

So I traveled back to London between a tearful daughter and a rather disappointed mother; and I told myself once more that I had been foolish not to fall in with what everyone seemed to think was an excellent plan.

But there was still time.

The next night we were invited to the house in the square; and to my surprise Ben was there. Lizzie was not with him. She was resting, he said. Grace was with her.

I said: “I did not expect to see you. Shouldn’t you be charming votes out of the voters of Manorleigh?”

“There is time before polling day,” he said.

At dinner Uncle Peter talked about the piece in the paper. He waved it aside. “Just malicious gossip,” he said. “It shows they’re rattled, Ben, looking for stuff like that.”

After dinner when the men joined us in the drawing room, Ben made a point of coming over to me.

“I must talk to you, Angel,” he said.

“Well? Talk.”

“Not here. Could we meet somewhere?”

“What is it you have to tell me, Ben?”

“Let’s meet. Shall we say in the Park? Kensington Gardens … in the flower garden.”

“Do you think we should?”

“We must. Tomorrow, ten thirty.”

“But …”

“Please, Angel. I shall expect you.”

I slept little that night. I lay awake wondering what he would say to me.

I found him waiting impatiently. He rose as I approached and, taking both my hands firmly in his, drew me to a seat.

“What is it Ben? What’s happened?”

“It’s this Timothy Ransome.”

“What of him?”

“You have been visiting his house … with your mother.”

“Well, what of it?”

“It is rather significant that he should invite you with your mother. It seems to me that it is for one purpose. Have you promised to marry him?”

“No, I have not and, Ben, I don’t see …”

“That it is my business? It is my business, Angel. I love you. You and I were meant for each other.”

“But you are married to Lizzie.”

“That was because …”

“You don’t have to explain. I know only too well. You didn’t love Lizzie, but you loved what she could bring you. You knew there was gold on her father’s land and that was the only way you could get it. You did try to buy it at first, I know … I grant you that.”

“Stop it,” he said. “You don’t understand.”

“I understand, too well. I was there, remember.”

“It is all in the past.”

“But the effect is with us still.”

“I love you. I want you … you only. More than anything I want you. You were married to Gervaise. Life was cruel to us both. It was always too late. And now you are proposing to marry again. First you were married to Gervaise. Then I was married to Lizzie …”

“You are still married to Lizzie.”

“She might divorce me.”

“Divorce you? On what grounds? I remember you suggested that Gervaise and I might divorce. It seems to be a ready solution for you.”

“It is a solution.”

“Never. Think of your political career. Would you stifle it at birth?”

“I would do anything if we could be together.”

“Ben, you are being rather rash.”

“What I want to say to you is … wait. Don’t rush into this. Oh, I know he is a worthy man … full of virtue and good works … as I could never be. But could he love you as I do?”

“I really don’t think you should be talking like this.”

“I’m telling you the truth. I know that we are meant for each other. We shared that … incident together. It bound us to each other in some way. I should never have gone away. Oh … isn’t it illuminating? One can look back and see where one has gone wrong all along the line. I should have stayed with you then … until you were well. I should never have gone back to London. I should never have gone to Australia. I think it was something to do with that … which made me want to go. It was on my conscience too, Angel. I thought I would get right away. You see, you were only a child then. Had you been older, I should have known … and then, as soon as I saw you again, I did know but you were married to Gervaise then.”

“It is no use going over it. We are where we are today and that means that you are married to Lizzie. I am sure she loves you devotedly. She brought you what you wanted … the mine … money … power. It was what you had always aimed for. People have to pay for the things they want.”

“But such a price, Angel.”

“Remember the miners … the story you liked so much. They thought they need not go on paying and look what happened to them.”

“That is a legend. It has nothing to do with our case.”

“You can compare them,” I said. “Listen to me, Ben. You have a great deal. You have a career which you will enjoy. It stretches out ahead of you. Perhaps it is not everything you want … but it is a great deal.”

And I was thinking: I have Timothy. It is not everything I want … because I want Ben; but it is a great deal.

“I’ll never give up hope,” he said. “Have you promised to marry him?”

“No,” I answered.

“I thank God for that.”

“You have become very pious suddenly, Ben.”

“Don’t joke. This is too serious a matter.”

“How can it change, Ben?”

“I never give up hope.”

“I must go.”

“Wait a while.”

“I really shouldn’t have met you here. What about all this talk?”

“What talk?”

“That piece in the paper about you and Lizzie and Grace?”

“Oh that. That was just the enemy getting rattled.”

“Could it spoil your chances?”

“Sensible people will take it for what it is.”

“How does Grace feel about it?”

“Rather put out I’m afraid.”

“It seems … so horrible … just because she helps Lizzie.”

“I know. But most people take it for what it is.”

“So you are going to get in?”

“I hope so.”

“The first step along a dazzling career?”

“That is what you think of me, is it?”

“I know you, Ben.”

“Don’t give up hope, Angel. Something will be done.”

“I must go.”

“I have to get back to Manorleigh this afternoon.”

“I suppose you will be there until the election?”

“It looks like it.”

“Well, good luck, Ben.”