Philippa Carr: Gossamer Cord

“That’s impossible,” said Dermot. “And this can’t go on. It’s ridiculous. And all these people who were there did nothing to stop it!”

“They were wise. No one can stand against the Nazis. They are in control.”

“It seems incredible that people could be allowed to behave so.”

“It is difficult for you to understand. But this is Germany.”

“Do you mean,” said Edward, “that tonight they may come along and do the same thing again?”

“I do not think they will do that. We are not important enough. We are only small people. They will go somewhere else. They have warned us…that is all. They want us to go away. But we have lived here all our lives…our forefathers were here before us. That means nothing to them. They do not like our race.”

Every one of us wished we knew how to comfort them. But there was no comfort we could offer.

We were all subdued. I had no desire to go out again. The fairy-tale villages had lost their charm for me. They had a beautiful exterior behind which evil lurked. I just wanted to get away, to go home, where everything would be normal. I looked back over those enjoyable days before I had seen that spectacle of destruction, but I could not forget the expression in the eyes of Else’s lover. How could a young man like that behave as he had? He had no pity for the innocent people he had attacked. I could have understood if there had been a quarrel and he had lost his temper, but it had all been done in cold blood. It was a senseless, calculated attack on people because they were of a different race from his own.

I told Edward that the leader of the band was Else’s friend. I explained what I had seen.

“I wonder if she knew he was going to do what he did,” I said.

“Perhaps,” replied Edward. “It explains things. She must have discovered that the family was Jewish. There is the old man in his black cap reading the Scriptures. He might have betrayed the fact.”

Edward was thoughtful. He told me later that he had passed on the information to Kurt who had said that it was very likely. They lived among spies. If Else had betrayed them, there was nothing they could do about it. To dismiss her would mean great trouble. Of that they could be sure.

Edward could not bring himself to let the matter rest. He had enough German to speak to Else and he could not resist doing so.

He told me about the conversation afterwards. He had said to her: “Was that a friend of yours who created all that damage last night?”

“I could see from her expression that she was quite truculent,” he went on. “She said defiantly: ‘Yes. It was.’ I answered: ‘And what did you think of what happened here last night?’ She replied: ‘It was for Germany and the Führer. We want an Aryan Germany. It is the Führer’s orders. We don’t want Jews here.’ I reminded her: ‘But those are the people you work for.’ ‘I should be employed by Aryans,’ she answered. ‘Why do you work here, then?’ I asked. ‘It is a job and my friend lives in the town nearby,’ she answered.

“It was just hopeless,” went on Edward. “I could not get through to her. She graciously made it clear that she had nothing against me. I wasn’t German, which was why I could not understand what it meant to Germany to have a pure race.”

“Oh, Edward,” I said. “It is so horrible. What if Kurt…his parents…Helmut and Gretchen…?”

Edward looked worried. “I have been talking to Kurt. They should get out.”

“How can they?”

“I don’t know. But they should consider it.”

“We shall be going soon,” I said. “It will be worrying to leave them…knowing what we do…having seen what we have seen.”

Edward looked deeply concerned. I thought then that he was perhaps more involved with Gretchen than I had realized.

I was certain of this when he said: “Gretchen is only a little older than you and Dorabella. Imagine what it must be like for her.”

“And Kurt and Helmut. I think they are ashamed in a way. They would rather it had happened when we were not here.”

“I suppose that is natural. And when you think that sort of thing is going on all over the country, it is something to be ashamed of. Violetta, how can we go away and leave them here?”

“What else can we do?”

“Well, it was Gretchen I was thinking of in particular. We could take her back with us.”

“Take her back!”

“We could say it was a holiday or something. She could stay with you. I am sure your mother would understand when we explained to her. She always understands.”

“I see,” I said.

“She is only a girl. How could we leave her here? With that likely to happen at any moment…?”

“You are very fond of her,” I said.

He nodded.

I smiled. “Well, you know my mother. She always comes to the rescue of people in distress.”

“As I have good reason to know. You and Dorabella could ask her back to stay with us for a while. That would be the best way of doing it.”

“And then you come and stay with us while she is there,” I said. “Edward, I understand perfectly.”

“It will be for you to suggest it,” he said. “I could hardly do so. And frankly, Violetta, the idea of leaving her here…”

“I understand,” I said. “I’ll suggest it.”

“And I’ll speak to Kurt on the quiet. He will see that it is the best thing. I couldn’t leave her here after what I saw last night.”

I told Dorabella what I proposed to do. She was amused.

“Poor Edward,” she said. “He really is smitten.”

“She’s a beautiful girl.”

“Do you think he wants to marry her?”

“I should think it very likely. He is very much in love.”

“How gorgeous! One wouldn’t expect it of old Edward.”

“Most people do things sometimes which one would not expect them to.”

“Old wiseacre!” she muttered affectionately.

She was in a good mood. Last night had been horrifying but it had brought her closer to Dermot Tregarland. I guessed she was thinking of a double wedding. Herself and Dermot; Edward and Gretchen. I knew her so well I could often read her thoughts.

I lost no time in suggesting to Gretchen that she should come to stay with us. She opened her eyes wide in astonishment.

I said: “It would be good for you to get away for a while, and you’d be interested to see England.”

Her pleasure showed in her face; then I saw the apprehension and I knew that she was thinking that though she might escape unpleasantness, there would be the perpetual anxiety for her family.

I felt a great affection for her in that moment. I think she cared for Edward, and the idea of going with him back to his country away from the ominous shadow which had fallen on her life seemed wonderful to her. If only they could all go…

But that was not possible.

Poor Gretchen! She was undecided.

It would be her family who would make up her mind for her; and they did.

Kurt was overcome with gratitude; so were Helmut and the parents; and it was decided that when we left we would take her with us for a holiday.

It was our last day. We were to leave the following morning. Kurt would drive us to the station and in due course the long journey to the coast would begin. We seemed almost like different people from those who had arrived here. I felt I should never be the same again. Whenever I saw anything beautiful I should look for the canker lurking beneath.

I went to say goodbye to the grandparents of whom we had seen very little during our stay, as they kept mainly to their own rooms.

Grossvater was reading the Scriptures and smiled at me rather vaguely. I told him that I should be leaving soon and he smiled on me benignly and gave me his blessing.