Mary Putney - The China Bride

His gaze became intent again. "The last year has definitely not been wasted, difficult though it was at times."

Wanting to avoid deep discussions, she lifted her skirts and hopped a puddle left from an earlier shower. "It's odd that this part of Scotland is called the Lowlands when it's hillier than much of England."

"True, but these hills are modest compared to the Highlands, where my mother was born." He looked toward the misty north. "In theory, England and Scotland are one nation now, but I doubt that will ever be wholly true."

"My father would have agreed with you." She glanced away from him, wondering why Dominic was merely handsome while Kyle, who looked just like him, made her knees go weak.

"Have you found any members of his family yet?"

Her fingers tightened on his arm. "I know he had a brother named James Montgomery, but when I asked the innkeeper at the Auld Bruce Inn, he said there were five men of that name in the district. I don't know if I want to inquire further. Perhaps I'll stay in Melrose for another day or two, then go on to Edinburgh."

"If you like, I can help find the right man, and go with you to call on him."

Uncomfortable with how clearly he saw her fears, she reverted to her earlier question. "Give me a better reason for why you're here, Kyle. To make us both miserable again?"

"I hope not." He hesitated. "I… I suppose I've come to court you."

She stared at him in astonishment. "You want to court me?"

"Better late than never." He smiled wryly. "About twelve hours after you left, Dominic appeared and essentially told me I was a damned fool where you're concerned. He's undoubtedly right."

Her heart constricted. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I still don't know if I'm capable of ever being the kind of husband you deserve," Kyle said with painful honesty. "But I don't want to throw away what's between us if there is a chance there could be more."

"It may be too late for that." She bowed her head, wanting to weep. She loved him, had loved him almost from the beginning, but she no longer believed they might have a future together. Why did he have to come and confuse everything just when she had finally recognized the path she must follow?

Though it was too soon for conclusive proof, she felt in her bones that they had conceived a child together when they had made love among the apple blossoms. She felt different in ways she had no words for. She was even willing to guess that the child would be male, because she sensed a glow of yang energy deep inside her.

The prospect filled her with joy, but also made her realize that she didn't want a child of hers to be raised at Dornleigh with a grandfather who despised his mixed blood, and a father who had taken such pains to avoid impregnating his mistress. Her child would be raised with love and acceptance, even if she had to return to Macao to find that.

"Are you sure it's too late? We've never had any normal time together, Troth. You were pretending to be a man, or we were making an illegal journey, or I was confused and convinced the gentlemanly thing to do was send you away. Wouldn't it be nice to simply enjoy each other's company without any complications, and see what might come of it?"

"I cannot imagine things being simple between us."

"We can start by not being lovers." His mouth softened into a faint smile. "A proper courtship isn't supposed to include a bed."

"I'm not sure if I can be with you and not think about beds."

His gaze went over her with scorching intensity. "Isn't that a good reason to try courting and see where it might lead?"

Nervously she tugged her cloak tighter. "What's the point of trying, Kyle? I don't belong in your world. I never will. That would be true even if your father approved of me, which he certainly doesn't. How can you find happiness if you disobey his wishes?"

"In Britain, children don't obey their fathers anywhere near as often as they do in China. Besides, Wrexham said before he left for London that part-Chinese grandchildren were better than none from me at all, which is the alternative."

"This is approval?" she said scathingly.

"For him, yes." Kyle took her hand and resumed walking, detouring around two placidly grazing sheep. "Wrexham might not be the ideal father-in-law, and your life has been so far outside his experience that you unnerve him in ways that go beyond your Chinese blood. But if we choose to become properly married, I guarantee he will accept you into the family, and defend you against the king himself if necessary. As for my brother and sister-well, they already consider you a Renbourne. It will go hard on me if I let you get away."

"That's all very well, but I'm not convinced."

"Convincing takes time, which is why courtship was invented." His hand tightened around hers. "Give me until the handfast ends, Troth. If a year and a day after we pledged ourselves in Feng-tang we decide we have no future, we can part gracefully, and without regrets."

She bit her lip. If she really was pregnant, she owed it to her unborn child not to refuse this last attempt to build a true marriage. "Very well. Until the handfast ends."

He turned her toward him and lifted her chin to give her a slow, sweet kiss in which passion was deliberately banked. His lips were warm and achingly familiar.

Though part of her yearned to lean into his warm, well-loved body, even more she wanted the simplicity he was offering. But it was far too late for that.

He stepped back, his breathing quickened. "Thank you, Troth. I'll do my best to be better company in the next weeks than I've been in the last."

"That wouldn't be hard."

"Too true. I've been such a confused bore for the last month that I could barely stand my own company. No wonder you left." He took her arm and resumed walking. "About your father's family. Visiting them might be a risk, but clearly you're a risk taker, Troth Montgomery. Shall I make some inquiries?"

She took a deep breath. "Find them for me, Kyle. It's time I met the only blood kin I have."

Though they didn't belong together forever, she might as well take advantage of his presence to help her face the terrors of family.

Luckily the Auld Bruce Inn was large enough to have a private parlor where Kyle and Troth could dine together, since they were both guests there. She brought her kitten down from her room for company, or possibly as a chaperon, since Pearl Blossom liked to sit on laps, which tended to make one think twice before succumbing to passion.

Kyle approved-he needed all of the second thoughts available, since he had a nearly overwhelming desire to take Troth in his arms. Which would not be good, given her prickly wariness. He must move slowly and carefully with her, winning her friendship and trust again, or he would lose this last opportunity she had granted.

After they returned from the abbey, he'd gone in search of information about her father's family, but he waited until the meal was finished before giving her his news. "I talked to the local minister, and I think I've located your uncle."

Troth's fingers tensed on her teacup. "Are you sure?"

"Certain. There may be five James Montgomerys, but only one had a brother named Hugh who went to China to make his fortune. After leaving Scotland he returned only twice, the last time more than twenty years ago, but he hasn't been forgotten. It wasn't hard to find the right James Montgomery."

Troth leaned forward. "What else did you learn about my uncle?"

"Like his father before him, he's a schoolteacher."

"Yes! I'd forgotten that, but I remember Papa talking about how his father and brother were teachers." She sipped her tea, eyes distant. "I suppose that was why Papa was so keen on my education. He taught me European subjects himself, and made sure I had good tutors for Chinese language and literature and history."