Kresley Cole - If You Deceive

He sighed. "Aye. I can speak French."

"Of course," she muttered in a deadened tone.

"Maddy, I ken that I've wronged you, but do you think you can forgive what I've done tae you? I'm no' saying this minute. But in time?"

"After all these lies, how can I trust what you're saying now? Give me a reason to, Ethan. Iwant to."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I doona know why you should trust me or forgive me, other than the fact that…that I'm in love with you," he said gruffly. "Tell me what tae do tae win you back, and it's done."

It seemed a thousand emotions warred to overwhelm her. She still felt resentment at Ethan's deceit. Shame and disgust for her parents' actions burned in her.

And she was embarrassed by how badly she wished she knew none of this and could just go back to the life they'd made together.

But above all, she felt…weary.

"I want to get well, to get strong again before I make any decisions." And one place called to her as no other did. "Take me to Carillon."

Maddy had ached for this place, yearning to return to the life she'd had at Carillon. But even after weeks of healing here, she was far from that existence.

She sat in front of her mirror, combing out her hair for bed, musing over her time here. The tension between her and Ethan had been grueling. He was standoffish. She felt awkward. They didn't seem to know what to do with each other.

Whenever she'd strolled the property, savoring all the new blooms and growth and regaining her strength, she'd felt him watching her, felt his palpable yearning. Once she'd been strong enough to ride her horse, he'd accompanied her, remaining silent beside her. If she'd stopped to gather flowers, he would dash over to help her down from the saddle. Each time, he held her longer as he gazed down at her, his eyes dark with emotion.

And this week, when he'd gotten word that Corrine had been found and was on her way to Carillon, Maddy had been so excited she'd hugged him. He hadn't seemed to be able to let her go, even when she pulled back. Finally he had, but he'd been stiff, looking pained.

It had turned out that Corrine had been knocked unconscious in the frantic struggle for Maddy, then carried away from the city by fleeing friends. But she was perfectly safe now and on her way here. The worry for her had been like a weight pressing on Maddy's chest—and now it was lifted.

With each day that passed, Maddy had formed a clearer picture of how she wanted her future to be. She needed to talk to Ethan about what she'd decided, but he seemed like he'd rather have his teeth pulled. Every time she approached him with a serious demeanor, he got an alarmed look about him and changed the subject, or left the room.

Her infallible Highlander seemed unsure, hesitant, and Maddy was just as much so, having no idea how to proceed with him.

She rose from her dresser with a sigh, then crawled into her large, empty bed, missing him like an ache before she fell asleep.

Sometime in the night, thunder boomed outside, and Maddy shot up in bed, gasping for breath. Tears streamed down her face from one of the worst nightmares she'd ever had.

She'd dreamed she was lost on the coast and couldn't find Ethan anywhere. At every turn, around each craggy bend, she got farther and farther from him, no matter how badly she yearned to find him—

Lightning flashed again. A storm was coming, making her ache turn to apprehension, and she leapt to her feet. Had Ethan not heard her cry out? Each night he slept in the room next to hers.

She ran to his room, but he wasn't there. Searching the manor with growing unease, she finally spied a light coming from the orangery and ran down the stairs and along the covered walk to reach him.

Inside, the loud rumble of the boiler echoed against the glass. She'd known he could fix it! But where was he? Catching her breath, she cried,"Ethan?"

The boiler whistled to a stop, and he shot to his feet, dropping tools as he strode for her. "What's happened?" he demanded, grasping her shoulders.

"N-nothing…"Now she felt silly for her reaction, like a frightened girl.

"Is a storm coming, then?" He glanced up at the glass ceiling. "I could no' hear it before."

"I…I think so. What are you doing here so late?"

"I wanted to surprise you. Get this thing running once and for all." He rubbed his palms down her arms. "Tell me what's troubling you, lass."

She gazed up at him and the words slipped out. "What has happened to us? What are we doing?"

"Truth?" he asked, tenderly brushing his thumb over her cheek.

"Truth," she answered with a firm nod.

He exhaled. "I'm giving you time to come to terms with everything, because I'm…I'm bloody dreading that you're going to tell me you want to go."

"Go? Am I going somewhere?"

"Do you no' want to? You have your own estate now. And you said once you got strong again, you'd make a final decision about us."

"Why haven'tyou said anything?"

"I doona want you to go—Ireally doona want you to go—but I dinna want to affect your decision. With everything that's happened—the illness and Bea's death and the babe…everyone thinks you must be feeling battered about just now. And I've been told that I occasionallyexert undue pressure to get my way. I dinna want to push you into a decision you would regret." Catching her eyes, he said, "I'm no' in this for the short cull,aingeal ."

"What if I've been trying to talk to you because I've decided that I want to give us another chance? That I want to stay here or at Carrickliffe or wherever, just as long as we can start again?"

He looked as if she'd slogged him, and his hands fell from her. "Even after all that I did?"

"Ethan, I admit I still have questions. I still have fears. But I don't believe we have to have everything figured out before I can…before I can get my husband back. And Ireally want my husband back."

"You're"—his voice broke lower—"you're keepin' me, then?"

"My life is with you. I just want to get back to it. Mind you, we still have a lot to muddle through, but I think you're worth the chance."

"Howcan you forgive me? There were times when it dinna seem possible tae me."

"Each day here, things became clearer," she murmured as the rain began to fall, pattering on the glass above them. "To forgive you, I simply recall how you faced hell to save my life. And then I remember how amazing it is when we have good days together." She twined her hands behind his neck and lightly pressed her body against the hard warmth of his, craving this closeness so badly. Their breaths were growing shallow, passion stoking, like the building storm outside. "Don't you think that's enough to start with?"

His big hand cupped her nape in that way that made her melt. "If it means I get you back…then, aye, I do." His other trailed to her bottom to gently knead her.

Once the storm began to whip outside, pelting the glass, she strangely was unafraid. For some reason, she didn't feel it was a harbinger of doom this time. She thought it mirrored the intensity of what was growing between them—his dark eyes were promising her a hot, thorough taking, and she knew hers were pleading for it.

He curled his finger under her chin as he rasped, "I'm goin' tae get it right this time, you know."

"I believe that, Scot." She gazed up at him with all the love she felt. "That's why you're still the dark horse I'm betting on."

"Ach, you're lookin' at me like you used tae. A husband could get used tae looks like that."

She smiled, whispering breathlessly, "I wager you're going to have to."

Not to marry, know love, or bind, their fate;

Your line to die for never seed shall take.

Death and torment to those caught in their wake,