Jayne Krentz: Don’t Look Back

“My sweet, you have reinvented yourself so many times that I fear you overlook the fact that not everyone is as resourceful and determined as you are.”

She sighed. “You may be right. I must say that even though I thought my plan was splendid, Jessica looked appalled when I outlined it. She appeared quite daunted by the notion of taking on a new identity and finding a way to support herself. She had always had money, you see. The idea of getting by without her fortune terrified her.”

“Damned unfair, too,” Tobias mused. “After all, the money was hers.”

“Well, yes, of course. I sympathized entirely on that point. But in my opinion, it was either turn her back on her fortune and take a new name or start research on the fine art of preparing poison. As I said, I did not believe that she would be enthusiastic about the latter course of action.”

“Sometimes you send a bit of a chill through me, Lavinia.”

“Nonsense. I’m certain that had you been in my shoes, you would have given her the same advice.”

He shrugged and offered no comment.

She frowned, rethinking her remark. “I take that back. You wouldn’t have advised her to go to the trouble of establishing a new identity. You would have arranged for Pelling to meet with a nasty accident.”

“As I was not in your shoes, there is no point speculating.”

“Sometimes you send a bit of a chill through me, sir.”

He smiled at the echo of his own words, no doubt concluding that she was making a small joke. But she was not joking, she thought. Sometimes he did send a small chill through her. There were some shadowy places deep inside Tobias. Occasionally it struck her quite forcibly that there was still a great deal that she did not know about him.

“What happened to Jessica Pelling?” he asked.

“I never saw her again,” Lavinia whispered. “She committed suicide the following day.”

“How? An overdose of laudanum? Did she drink too much of the milk of the poppy?”

“No. She chose a more dramatic means. She went out riding in the midst of a violent storm and cast herself into the swollen river. Her horse returned without her. Later a maid found a note in Mrs. Pelling’s bedchamber declaring her intention to drown herself.”

“Hmm.”

There was a short silence.

“They never found her body.”

“Hmm.”

“It happened from time to time.” Lavinia clasped her hands very tightly in her lap. The memories of that awful day were so fresh and vivid now that she had to fight to draw air into her lungs. “The river was very deep and treacherous in places. It was not unheard of for some unfortunate soul to fall in when it was in flood and never be seen again.”

“Oscar Pelling blamed you for his wife’s death?”

“Yes. He confronted me in the street immediately after the searchers had abandoned all hope. He was in a state of such rage that I… I was almost afraid for my own safety.”

A great stillness came over Tobias. “Did he touch you? Put his hands on you? Hurt you in any way?”

The implacable expression that had appeared in his eyes nearly took her breath away. She swallowed and hurried on with her tale.

“No,” she said quickly. “No, indeed. He would hardly have dared to attack me in front of so many witnesses. But he accused me of driving Jessica to her death with my mesmeric treatments.”

“I see.”

“He made certain that the rumors of my incompetence spread quickly throughout the countryside. Within a very short time Oscar Pelling had utterly destroyed my reputation in the region. I lost all of my clients.” She hesitated. “In truth, I was no longer certain that I wanted to continue in the profession.”

“Because you feared that Pelling was correct. That your therapy had played some role in Jessica’s death.”

“Yes.”

There it was, she thought: Her darkest secret had now been revealed to Tobias. It suddenly dawned on her that this was the real reason she had been so shaken by the sight of Oscar Pelling. Her intuition had told her that it would somehow lead to this terrible moment when Tobias would discover that she had been involved in the death of an innocent woman. She knew all too well how much he distrusted the science of mesmerism and what he thought of those who practiced the art. She braced herself for his reaction, even as a part of her wondered when and how his opinion of her character had become so important. Why did she care so much what he thought of her?

“Pay close attention to me, Lavinia.” Tobias reached out and covered her tightly knit fingers with his own large, powerful hand. “You bear no guilt in the matter. You only tried to help her. It was a desperate situation and it called for desperate measures. Your plan for Jessica to use her ring to pay for her new life under a new name was an excellent scheme. It is not your fault that she lacked the nerve and the will to carry it out.”

At first she thought she had not heard him aright. Tobias was not blaming her. The world seemed to brighten a bit, the air becoming clearer and more fragrant. She allowed herself to breathe again.

“But perhaps by encouraging her to take such a risk, I forced her to confront her own helplessness and cast her into the depths of despair.” Lavinia squeezed her fingers into her palms. “Perhaps I made her feel that it was all hopeless and that the only way out was suicide.”

“You showed her a possible escape route. It was up to Jessica to use it.” Tobias pulled her snugly against his side and wrapped his arm around her. “You did all that you could.”

It was odd how pleasant it was to nestle against him, she thought. He was an exceedingly difficult man, but on occasion, Tobias’s solid, unwavering strength had a decidedly soothing effect on her senses.

He did not blame her for what had happened.

“I should not have let that brief glimpse of Pelling upset me so today,” she said after a while. “It is perfectly reasonable that a gentleman of his wealth and position would come to Town occasionally to shop and to tend to his business affairs.”

“Very true.”

“And it is not at all strange that I chanced to see him in Pall Mall. After all, London is a small world in many ways, especially when it comes to shopping.”

“It was not the surprise of seeing a familiar face in Pall Mall that unsettled your nerves,” Tobias said. “It was that spotting Pelling brought back memories of the incident that destroyed your career as a mesmerist.”

“In part.” But mostly it was because I sensed that I would have to confess it all to you, she added silently. That was why I had to stop for that cup of tea. That was why I was late. I did not want to face you with this tale.

But it was done. The truth had come out and Tobias did not hold it against her. Indeed, he painted her as something of a heroine in the drama. Astonishing.

“You have a new career now, Lavinia,” he said bracingly. “What happened in the past no longer matters.”

She relaxed a little more, savoring the heat of his body.

After a while he cradled her head in the crook of his arm and lowered his mouth to hers.

“It is a little chilly out here for this sort of thing,” she mumbled against his lips.

“I will warm you,” he promised.

The small group of eager young gallants that had encircled Emeline on the front steps of the institute made Anthony uneasy. They all professed a great interest in discussing the lecture they had just attended, but he suspected most of them had ulterior motives. Emeline, however, appeared unaware of that possibility. She was busily holding forth with her opinion of the talk.

“I fear that Mr. Lexington has not spent much time, if any, in Italy,” Emeline declared. “He gave a very poor description of Roman monuments and fountains. As it happens, my aunt and I had an opportunity to spend some time in that city recently, and I-”