Tania Blanchard - The Girl from Munich

Mutti clutched my other hand in terror, holding tight as though she would never let go. She was shuddering. I let go of Vati’s hand, gesturing to Mutti. Vati stood and squeezed in on the other side of her, putting his arm around her.

‘It’s all right, Amelia. We’re safe tonight,’ he murmured into her ear.

‘Just keep Lotte close. I don’t know how much more of this noise I can take.’

Mutti’s panic was feeding my own anxiety and I didn’t need any more of that. I slipped my hand into my pocket and felt the coarse paper of Willi’s letter. I hoped that, wherever he was, he too was safe. I closed my eyes to shut out the pale faces in shadow and silently recited Willi’s letter to myself.

Liebe Lotte,

By the time you receive this letter, I will have become a cultured expert on the sights of Rome!

My division was dispatched to Italy a few weeks ago and we discovered that our aim was to disarm the Italian army and secure the city of Rome. You may or may not know, but the Italian Government was planning to abandon us and defect to the English. Despite a few small battles and skirmishes, we now hold Rome. Your brave and courageous brother, as part of the 2nd Parachute Division, played an important part in this victory for Germany! Make sure you tell all your friends!

I received your last letter telling me about your new job. Nice to see you’ve kept it in the family, working for the Luftwaffe. I’m sure by the time you receive this you will have whipped your section and superior into shape. I know your dream was to work as a photographer. I’m sorry that Mutti doesn’t understand what makes you tick but I’m glad you’re working in München.

Believe me, the front is not somewhere you want to be. It’s a place of madness and insanity, a place that will haunt you for the rest of your life. North Africa was bad but they say the Eastern Front is the worst. That’s not something I want for you. I want you to be happy, to always hear your laughter, to keep your great joy for life. When I think of you, I think of your very unladylike laughter, straight from the belly. There’ll be plenty of time after the war to make your dreams reality and show Mutti what you’re made of.

Anyway, how are you coping with Mutti and her planning for your wedding? Is she driving you mad yet? You must be a stronger person than me, because I quiver in my boots thinking of the day my future wife and I have to deal with her fastidious and controlling planning! I think I’ll stay with the military a while longer…

Jokes aside, I know that it’s her way to show how she cares. She only wants the best for you, so if you can, take a deep breath and grin and bear it. I know you’ve said that it will probably be a summer wedding next year but let me know when you’ve set a date. I will do everything I can to get there. You know Heinrich is like a brother to me and he’s a fine man. Just be happy. Maybe after this war is over, I will be so lucky to find such a woman as you.

To be sure, just as we begin to relax, we will be sent to another hot spot to support the army. So I will make the most of my time here in Rome. When I can, I will enjoy the local cuisine (all the pasta I can eat), the fabulous ancient sites (I can’t wait to see the Colosseum), architecture (any of it will do, there’s so much to see), artwork (I hope to see the Sistine Chapel) and of course, the local girls (belle ragazze)! See, my Italian is coming along! I look forward to sharing this all with you (well, maybe not all of it) when I next write.

I could just imagine my incorrigible brother in Rome, living it up in spite of the war, sweeping some voluptuous brunette off her feet. His letter reminded me of when we were younger, maybe eight or nine, at a time before our parents’ divorce. Willi and I were walking through a meadow in the height of summer. Ludwig was helping our father as he was old enough to be of value and rarely had time to play with us any more.

‘Come on,’ urged Willi. He ran towards an abandoned shed on our father’s property. He was always the risk taker, encouraging me to follow his lead.

‘No, we’re not allowed to go near the shed,’ I said, stopping in the tall grass, the swaying tips tickling my arms.

‘But I have to show you something. I can’t show anyone else.’ Willi grasped my hand, both of us hot and sticky with sweat. ‘You’re the only one who will understand.’

‘All right,’ I said tentatively. Hand in hand, we raced to the shed, my heart in my mouth, terrified someone would see us.

Willi opened the door of the shed carefully, its hinges complaining from lack of use. It was dark and cool inside, and something moved in the corner, a dark shadow, making me scream.

‘No, don’t scream,’ hissed Willi. He placed his hand reassuringly on my arm. ‘You’ll scare him.’

‘Scare who?’ I took a step backwards.

‘Prinz.’ Willi dragged me towards the bench and retrieved a flashlight. He flicked the switch and shone the light into the corner.

A ball of dark fur cowered against the timber wall.

‘What is it?’ I said, intrigued but not moving any closer.

‘It’s a puppy.’ Willi grinned from ear to ear. ‘I found him a few days ago. He’s too small to be on his own and I looked everywhere for his mother. I’ve been looking after him ever since. Isn’t he cute?’

I nodded, not yet sure. ‘You know we’re not allowed to have a puppy. It will scare the chickens. If it kills them, Vati will have our hides.’

‘Vati has his hunting dogs. Why can’t we have our own dog?’

‘I know. But if he finds out, we’re in big trouble.’

‘He doesn’t have to know. Prinz can live here and we can visit him every day.’ Willi crouched down near the puppy, its wide dark eyes watching his every movement warily. He pulled a paper bundle from his pocket. Unwrapping the package, he placed it in front of the trembling puppy. The tiny black nose twitched, sniffing the contents before it crawled towards the paper.

‘What is it?’

‘Scraps of meat from yesterday, cut up into tiny pieces,’ Willi said, watching the puppy carefully.

The puppy devoured the meat, licking the paper when it was finished. It sat back on its haunches, pleading for more.

Willi scratched the puppy’s head. Before we knew it, both of us were cross-legged on the dusty floor, the puppy wriggling between us, little grunts of ecstasy emitting from its mouth as we scratched it behind the ears and on the belly.

‘We have to keep him but we can’t let Vati find him,’ I said, the soft fur smooth under my hand.

‘I knew you’d understand.’

I helped Willi look after Prinz, slipping away to make sure he had ample food and water. Although we were already close, Prinz brought us even closer together. But as the days shortened into autumn and Willi prepared to begin classes at a new school, Prinz disappeared. Willi was distraught and I cried for days but nothing brought him back.

‘Let’s hope he’s somewhere safe,’ Willi whispered before he left for school.

‘He will be,’ I said, trying to be strong. ‘One day, he’ll come home to us. I’ll watch out for him.’

‘I know you will. I can rely on you.’ Willi smiled and then he was gone.

The following summer my parents were divorced. Our childhood innocence was gone.

Tears rolled down my face. I missed Willi terribly.

‘It will be over soon,’ Vati whispered. ‘Stay strong. Remember everything you have to live for.’ My mother, tucked into his other side, stroked my face, her hand clammy with fear, but said nothing. ‘We must lead by example. When we display strength and calm, others will follow and together we can get through this difficult time.’