Джорджетт Хейер: The Quiet Gentleman

“On the contrary, it suits me very well. I am able to fancy myself in a house of my own, and can enter the Tower by the door into the Chapel Court, if I choose, and so escape being commanded to furnish my aunt with the details of where I have been, or where I am going!”

“Good God! Will it be my fate to endure such examinations?”

“My aunt,” said Theo, with a lurking twinkle, “likes to know all that one does, and why one does it.”

“You terrify me! I shall certainly not remain at Stanyon above a week!”

But his cousin only smiled, and shook his head, and left him to ring for his valet.

When the man came, he brought with him a can of hot water, and a warming-pan. The Earl, staring at this, said: “Now, what in thunder are you about?”

“It appears, my lord,” responded Turvey, in a voice carefully devoid of expression, “that extremely early hours are kept in this house — or, as I apprehend I should say, Castle. The servants have already gone to bed, and your lordship would hardly desire to get between cold sheets.”

“Thank you, my constitution is really not so sickly as you must think it! Next you will bring me laudanum, as a composer! Set the thing down in the hearth, and don’t be so foolish again, if you please! Have they housed you comfortably?”

“I make no complaint, my lord. I collect that the Castle is of considerable antiquity.”

“Yes, parts of it date back to the fourteenth century,” said the Earl, stripping off his shirt. “It was moated once, but the lake is now all that remains of the moat.”

“That, my lord,” said Turvey, relieving him of his shirt, “would no doubt account for the prevailing atmosphere of damp.”

“Very likely!” retorted Gervase. “I infer that Stanyon does not meet with your approval!”

“I am sure, a most interesting pile, my lord. Possibly one becomes inured to the inconvenience of being obliged to pass through three galleries and seven doors on one’s way to your lordship’s room.”

“Oh!” said the Earl, a trifle disconcerted. “It would certainly be better that you should be quartered rather nearer to me.”

“I was alluding, my lord, to the position of the Servants’ Hall. To reach your lordship’s room from my own, it will be necessary for me to descend two separate stairways, to pass down three corridors; through a door permitting access to one of the galleries with which the Castle appears to be — if I may say so! — somewhat profusely provided; and, by way of an antechamber, or vestibule, reach the court round which this portion of the Castle was erected.” He waited for these measured words to sink into his master’s brain, and then added, in soothing accents: “Your lordship need have no fear, however, that I shall fail to bring your shaving-water in the morning. I have desired one of the under-footman — a very obliging lad — to act as my guide until I am rather more conversant with my surroundings.” He paused. “Or, perhaps I should say, until your lordship decides to return to London!”

Neither the Dowager nor Miss Morville appeared at the breakfast-table next morning; and although a place was laid for the Chaplain, he had not emerged from his bedchamber when Gervase joined his brother and his cousin in the sunny parlour. His entrance disconcerted Martin, who was fairly embarked on a scathing condemnation of the clothing which he apparently considered suitable for country-wear. Since Gervase was impeccably attired in riding-breeches, top-boots, and a serviceable, if unusually well-cut, frockcoat, Martin’s scornful animadversions became, even in his own ears, singularly inapposite. Theo, who had listened to him in unencouraging silence, smiled slightly at sight of the Earl, and said to his younger cousin: “You were saying?”

“It don’t signify!” snapped Martin, glowering at him.

“Good-morning!” said Gervase. “Oh, don’t ring the bell, Theo! Abney knows I am here.”

“I trust no nightmares, Gervase?” Theo said quizzically.

“Not the least in the world. Do either of you know if my horses have yet arrived?”

“Yes, I understand they came in early this morning, your groom having stayed at Grantham overnight. An old soldier, is he?”

“Yes, an excellent fellow, from my own Troop,” replied Gervase, walking over to the side-table, and beginning to carve a large ham there.

“I say, Gervase, where did you come by that gray?” demanded Martin.

The Earl glanced over his shoulder. “In Ireland. Do you like him?”

“Prime bit of blood! I suppose you mean to take the shine out of us Melton men with him?”

“I haven’t hunted him yet. We shall see how he does. I brought him down to try his paces a little.”

“You won’t hack him during the summer!”

“No, I shan’t do that,” said the Earl gravely.

“My dear Martin, do you imagine that Gervase does not know a great deal more about horses than you?” said Theo.

“Oh, well, I daresay he may, but troopers are a different matter!”

That made Gervase laugh. “Very true! — as I know to my cost! But I have been more fortunate than many: I have only once been obliged to ride one.”

“When was that?” enquired Theo.

“At Orthes. I had three horses shot under me that day, and very inconvenient I found it.”

“You bear a charmed life, Gervase.”

“I do, don’t I?” agreed the Earl, seating himself at the table.

“Were you never even wounded?” asked Martin curiously.

“Nothing but a sabre-cut or two, and a graze from a spent ball. Tell me what cattle you have in the stables here!”

No question could have been put to Martin that would more instantly have made him sink his hostility. He plunged, without further encouragement, into a technical and detailed description of all the proper high-bred ‘uns, beautiful steppers, and gingers to be found in the Stanyon stables at that moment. Animation lightened the darkness of his eyes, and dispelled the sullen expression from about his mouth. The Earl, listening to him with a half-smile hovering on his lips, slipped in a leading question about the state of his coverts, and finished his breakfast to the accompaniment of an exposition of the advantages of close shot over one that scattered, the superiority of the guns supplied by Manton’s, and the superlative merits of percussion caps.

“To tell you the truth,” confessed Martin, “I am a good deal addicted to sport!”

The Earl preserved his countenance. “I perceive it. What do you find to do in the spring and the summer-time, Martin?”

“Oh, well! Of course, there is nothing much to do,” acknowledged Martin. “But one can always get a rabbit, or a brace of wood-pigeon!”

“If you can get a wood-pigeon, you are a good shot,” observed Gervase.

This remark could scarcely have failed to please. “Well, I can, and it is true, isn’t it, that a wood-pigeon is a testing shot?” said Martin. “My father would always pooh-pooh it, but Glossop says — you remember Glossop, the head-keeper? — that your pigeon will afford you as good sport as any game-bird of them all!”

The Earl agreed to it; and Martin continued to talk very happily of all his sporting experiences, until an unlucky remark of Theo’s put him in mind of his grievances, when he relapsed into a fit of monosyllabic sulks, which lasted for the rest of the meal.

“Really, Theo, that was not adroit!” said the Earl, afterwards.

“No: bacon-brained!” owned Theo ruefully. “But if we are to guard our tongues every minute of every day — I”

“Nonsense! The boy is merely spoilt. Is that my stepmother’s voice? I shall go down to the stables!”