Karen Wasylowski - Darcy and Fitzwilliam - A Tale of a Gentleman and an Officer

“Hello,” she said simply.

He nodded, the sudden boulder in his throat impeding his speech.

“I was expecting you to come earlier.” He was pale and looked slightly ill. “Are you all right, Richard?”

“Yes.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. His first sight of her had robbed him of breath. His second had almost robbed him of speech. She looked gloriously disheveled. In fact, she had hurried downstairs without her robe, not even taking time for slippers. It was only moments before that she had finally fallen asleep, exhausted and depressed, giving up on his ever coming over that evening even as Lady Catherine had assured her of his continued love for her.

“I am sorry to have come so late,” he finally said, and then inhaled deeply. “I’ve been visiting with the peer, obviously drinking a bit, also. He possesses some extraordinarily powerful whiskey.” She looked gorgeous as she pushed back the cascade of blonde hair from over her face, a face which was still flushed from sleep. He could see the imprint of the pillow wrinkles on her cheeks. “Of course, what I call whiskey, he calls Irish holy water.”

Amanda laughed rather over brightly and nodded, crossing her arms over her chest to fend off the cold. She wished she had her slippers nearby.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake.” The faintly exasperated voice seemed to come from nowhere.

Incredibly, Fitzwilliam could hear his aunt muttering behind the closed door to the hallway. He turned his head to listen.

“Catherine, is that you?” The muttering stopped. There was silence.

He could hear the shuffling of feet behind the door.

“Did I say that out loud, Jamison?”

“Yes, madam.”

“ Merde .”

Fitzwilliam exhaled in exasperation. “Aunt Catherine, is that you?” he called again, louder.

After several seconds, the voice from nowhere spoke. “No.”

He walked over to the door and snatched it open. Amanda watched as he leaned his body into the doorway. “Could you please afford us some slight privacy?” he asked in a respectful but strained voice.

“Whatever do you mean? I am merely standing here. It’s nothing to do with you. Please stand back. I need my rest. Close the door. I am very old and tired. I have a bad heart. For heaven’s sake, Richard, move your hand! You are letting out the heat. I am not made of money, you know! Watch your feet.” With that, the door was snapped shut in his face.

He turned toward Amanda and shook his head. “Now, where was I?” he asked absently.

“You weren’t anywhere that I could tell,” said the mysterious voice that was not behind the door.

“Aunt Catherine!!”

Amanda’s hand pressed over her mouth as they both grinned. Trying hard not to laugh, Fitzwilliam grumbled with his amusement.

“Aunt Catherine!” he commanded. “Stop your eavesdropping and go to bed! You are old and tired, remember?”

“I am not eavesdropping, young man.” The muffled voice managed to sound very insulted. “I am merely standing here, in my own home, by my table, which…” There was a loud crash and thud, followed by a muffled scream.

Fitzwilliam put up one finger and walked to the door, opening it.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“Yes, of course I am, but I fail to understand from where that table came. Jamison?”

“France, madam,” he replied.

“Merciful heavens, I am perfectly aware of that! I mean now, Jamison. When was it placed here?!” Her voice was very agitated.

“I believe that would be thirty-four years ago, madam.”

Fitzwilliam looked back at Amanda and rolled his eyes, after which his head disappeared again into the open doorway.

“Will you please go away?” he asked. “I am begging you, Aunt. If I pay you something, some unbelievably large amount, will you leave us? Please? Allow me some small privacy for this, please.”

When he began closing the door, it was pushed open again. A white, blue-veined hand was the only thing visible as it reached up to his hair and patted it down.

“Did you just spit on your hand before you patted down my hair?” he asked indignantly.

“Oh, I did no such thing. Now be still. Of all the rude, impertinent accusations to make! Bend down lower. I will have you know that members of the aristocracy do not have ‘spit’ as you crudely refer to it, young man. We do not acknowledge saliva in any form. Straighten your collar. There, you look nearly presentable.” She grumbled in aggravation, “Do you even own a brush?” Grabbing his chin, she brusquely turned his face from side to side. “For heaven’s sake, Richard, what did you use to shave—a shovel?”

“Leave now, Catherine, and I may spare your life.” There was a moment of quiet from behind the door. “Go, woman! I intend to begin ravishing my wife shortly; however, I will not even consider it before I see that little dwarflike body of yours waddling down this corridor! Away with you! Shoo!”

“Oh, all right!” she finally capitulated. “By the way, mon chou , I should tell you that when you two finally get around to reconciling and retire upstairs, Amanda is occupying the large blue suite down the east corridor, not your usual bachelor room at the end of the west corridor.” She reached up to kiss his offered cheek then turned on her heels to leave. “You have finally earned an upgrade in accommodations, Richard. Well done, you.”

Watching his aunt leave, Fitzwilliam exhaled a long, relieved breath then turned back into the room to face Amanda. He was alone finally with his wife, and his heart was beating wildly with so much yet to tell her and so many plans for their future.

“My God, but you look striking,” he murmured gruffly. His mind was momentary mush. His initial impulse was to toss her backward atop a table. I am in full control . In his finest “addressing of the troops” voice, he began.

“Amanda, I want to speak with you about our situation. I know we are waiting for an important decision to be made, but I do not want that decision to come between us. I want you to know where I stand with or without that decision, especially after that slight setback we experienced at Darcy’s home. We are married for life, for better or worse. If you feel you must return to your mother-in-law’s house, I will wait for you, for however long this custody procedure takes.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but he raised his hand to stay her, taking a few tentative steps in her direction, nervously clasping and unclasping his hands behind his back. “I was a fool, Amanda, an ass. I betrayed your trust. I broke a sacred promise to you, and that is indefensible. I have no excuse to offer you for my actions. I can only say how much I love you and hope that you can forgive me. As I have said, I spoke with Wellington today. It has not been announced yet, but Arthur is to be made Master General of the Ordnance soon, and he is recommending me for appointment on the Board. He was quite enthusiastic that I had finally made my decision and assures me that the position comes with a very generous compensation, enough for me to take a house here in town, a small house but large enough for the three of us, if and when needed. Or should I say four of us? Nevertheless, I will be here for you and Harry and our baby.”

“Richard, please let me speak. I have something to say to you.” She shook her head forcefully as tears began to stream down her cheeks.

“Amanda, do not say something now we will both regret. I need you desperately, and I am convinced you need me also. We were meant to be together.”

Sobbing, she tried to speak, but he rushed in once again. “Give me another chance, for heaven’s sake!” He cupped her face with his hands. “You must have some small feeling left for me, some affection. I refuse to believe I’ve destroyed us completely. Can’t you find some way to forgive me?”