Karen Wasylowski - Darcy and Fitzwilliam - A Tale of a Gentleman and an Officer

Fitzwilliam could not hear what was being said but felt a twinge of guilt seeing as he was equally to blame for the disruption. She was a gentle mother though—kind and firm, loving and sensible. Harry nodded and whispered something back, and then they kissed. Fitzwilliam’s heart swelled at the beautiful sight. After a moment, Harry looked back at Richard and smiled contentedly.

It was some time after the service had ended, and Richard now stood at the back of the church, waiting for Amanda, mentally reviewing his prepared comments for her, going over and over in his head the course before them. Absently, he twirled his bicorn hat in his hand as he nodded to the people streaming past him—the street vendors already late for work, the immigrant men who held their poor but proud heads high, the black-dressed, elderly women hurrying home, the street children looking for a few hours’ warmth, the Irish housemaids. He especially acknowledged the salutes of several old soldiers and happily spared them as much time and coin as they required.

Anthony reached him finally and accepted his handshake, while behind Anthony, a beaming Harry dragged his mother forward.

“Colonel Fitzwilliam, I am so surprised to see you here.” Amanda was breathless as an exuberant Harry bounced up and down on his heels. “Colonel, allow me to introduce you to my son, Harold Augustus Penrod. He is very anxious to make your acquaintance.”

“Mama, please let my hand go. I must make my bow. Grandmamma showed me.” He took a step forward and bowed deeply, showing a fine leg. “I am honored to make your acquaintance, Colonel.” He was for a brief moment the picture of elegance but then ruined the entire effect by sniffling and smiling broadly. “You are ever so tall, sir. I’ll bet you can see all the way to India, or Ireland.”

Richard beamed down at the boy. “Why don’t you see for yourself, lad?” He reached down and lifted Harry up onto his shoulders.

“Oh, Mummy! This is very high up! I should like to be this tall someday! Will I ever be this tall, do you think? How tall are you, sir? I don’t think Tio Anthony is even this tall!” Harry excitedly pumped his arms and legs as Fitzwilliam turned the twisting little body this way and that to see everything.

Observing the couple stealing glances at each other, Anthony reached up to retrieve Harry. “Let us give your mother and the colonel some privacy, eh? We will await you outside, Lady Penrod, Colonel.” As Anthony carried Harry out the door, he could sense the colonel’s single-minded intensity and Amanda’s apprehensive nerves, and laughed when he turned and saw her gazing anxiously after him.

Fitzwilliam cleared his throat first and adopted his usual formal parade stance. “Amanda, my dear…” he began; however, she spoke simultaneously. “Colonel…”

They both laughed awkwardly.

“Excuse me, madam. I wanted to apologize to you for my behavior the other evening, very unlike me, really. But please, you go first.”

“Thank you, Colonel. I was going to comment on the fact that you appear to already know Dr. Milagros. I have only recently learned of this.” After one quick glance up at his face, she returned her eyes to a level with his cloak button. “He has also just told me that you and he have recently spoken. Imagine my surprise.”

“Yes, and he has told me something of your situation…”

As he spoke, Amanda took a deep breath, her heart strumming. He looked so very masculine and strong and smelled very nice. And very handsome. Yes, he looked very handsome indeed. Amanda’s heart was hammering away determinedly and sounded so loud in her head that she heard nothing of what he was saying, only watched his mouth and admired his fine teeth. The knowledge that he had come here to seek her out, that he was truly that attracted to her and that interested made her suddenly bold, feeling desirable and feminine and alive. She trusted him. More importantly, she loved him desperately. Amanda had thought of little else than this man for two weeks and now had at last come to a spontaneous decision. She was going to live for the moment. She would agree to become his mistress!

Placing her hand on his arm, she interrupted him just as he was beginning the meatier part of his presentation. “Colonel, I have been thinking of what we spoke of at the Winter Ball. Perhaps we should see more of each other, as you said. Much more.” Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply and rushed on. “Perhaps we could meet somewhere? You are an experienced man of the world, and I am sure you know of a place where a man and woman can have some private time together, a place that is discreet and out of the way.” Amanda had whispered this in such a rush that she needed to stop and catch her breath. Her face was crimson.

Fitzwilliam stared at her as if she had grown gills. His fine speech went out the window. “I beg your pardon, madam.” He appeared to find her words somehow humorous.

Amanda’s color brightened even more, and for the first time, she looked directly up into his eyes. “What do you mean, ‘I beg your pardon’?” she said, her embarrassment giving her words a harsh clip. “I am suggesting that we should meet. ‘In private,’ as they say.” She raised one eyebrow. “Isn’t that what you wanted? We are both adults, and I am a widow, after all. You need not fear that I will be shocked.”

Instead, Fitzwilliam was shocked, no longer amused by what he thought had been an embarrassing bit of misspeak on her part regarding ‘Private Time Together.’ The chit was serious! What was it about this woman that both pulled him so strongly while at the same time could aggravate the hell out of him so easily? He was never out of sorts with anyone else, always smooth and clever and carefree. Why, he was the most bloody charming person he knew, goddamn it.

“I believe you have misconstrued my meaning, madam, perhaps not listening quite as attentively as you should. I said to you that I had honorable intentions . That generally would mean calling for you at your home, to take you out riding in my impressive carriage—well, actually in my cousin’s impressive carriage—to escort you to the opera, to take tea with you, and to take your son out to the park. In short, madam, I desire assurances that we would suit each other, with an eye toward an offer of marriage.” Damn but she was infuriating. He was not just flapping his lips here! How much plainer must he be?

Seeing the anxious look in her eyes, he dropped his voice to the barely audible. “I certainly did not intend to coax you into some sort of sordid secret liaison.”

“Well, why ever not?”

“What the hell do you mean, ‘Why ever not’?!”

Amanda was distraught. Oh, sweet heaven! All her hopes and dreams were disappearing before her eyes. She was losing this man before ever possessing him. “I believe I made it clear to you that I am not available for courtship, Colonel. However, it is perfectly acceptable here for widows to engage in nonbinding relationships of mutual consent. I am a widow, and therefore I consent.”

He took a step back and stared at her in stunned disbelief. He arched his eyebrow in palpable annoyance. Instead of these perfectly clear machinations dissuading her, she continued! “No. To pursue a course toward marriage would be a complete waste of both of our times. I am quite sophisticated, I’ll have you know, and very worldly. Yes, I am. And what is more, I am already involved with Dr. Milagros, as I have previously mentioned. However, I have spoken with him, and he has no objections if I meet with you also. So, as you can see, there is nothing to impede our being together.” She rocked back on forth on her feet. “It is all very sophisticated.”