Bertrice Small - The Innocent

"I could take you now, here, and show you no mercy!" he cried.

"And having tasted your kiss, my lord, I have no doubt that I should respond to your passion, but come the dawn I should be weighed down with a guilt so heavy it would never leave me," Elf told him. "Women are weak, it is said, but they, too, have their honor. If you dishonored me, you should dishonor yourself. I beg you not to do so, my lord Merin. Do not allow your lust to destroy the friendship that has grown between us. I have never known your like, nor will I ever again, I think." Her eyes met his, pleading, yet proud.

He could force this petite woman, so delicate of bone. She could not prevail against his strength, there was scarce a woman born who could. But he loved her. A man did not despoil and hurt something so fair, so innocent, so sweet. The Merin ap Owen that Isleen de Warenne knew might do such a thing and not have a care; but the Merin ap Owen that he was for Eleanore de Montfort would not act in so dishonorable a fashion. Reaching out, he took her two hands, raised them up, and kissed them.

"It would seem, Eleanore, that my love for you is stronger than my lust. Tomorrow I will set you free to return home to your most fortunate husband. And this promise I give you: The Welsh will not distress Ashlin again in my time." He released her hands. "Go to bed now, my love, resting safe in your goodness. Only you know the man I might have been. Tomorrow after you have left me, I will begin a hunt for a vixen. I will run her to ground, I promise you, and I will kill her. She will never trouble you again."

"Do not kill her on my account, my lord," Elf begged him.

He smiled. "Her death will not be on your conscience, my love, but on mine with many others; but your God will surely not punish me for ridding the world of the devil’s own daughter," Merin ap Owen said. "For that I must certainly be rewarded."

“Give me Arwydd to take back with me," Elf said to Merin ap Owen the following morning as she prepared to leave his apartments for the last time. "You know what will happen to her if she is left here at Gwynfr or returned to her uncle’s establishment."

"You would have her despite what she did?" he asked, surprised.

"She did what she did to survive," Elf responded. "She is a good girl at heart. I cannot forget that she protected my son from Isleen by keeping the secret of his existence from her."

"If she will go with you, you may have her," he replied. "I will send her to you. Then come to the hall, so I may turn you over to the faithful Sim of Ashlin. I want him to take you from Gwynfr before your husband arrives to attack me, and lives are needlessly lost. I have no doubt that Ranulf de Glandeville is near. I know I would be if you were my wife." He smiled a wry smile at her, then made to leave her.

"My lord!" she called after him, and he returned to her side. Elf stood upon her tiptoes, and kissed his scarred cheek. "I would not embarrass you, or endanger my own reputation by doing this publicly in the hall," she told him. "I thank you. I believe there is much good in you, my lord, despite your evil reputation. Seek for that good for the sake of your immortal soul. I will pray for you, Merin ap Owen," she promised him.

"Then, I shall be as near to being saved from the devil’s hellfire as I have ever been," he told her softly. Raising her hand to his lips, he caught her gaze a moment. "We would have been magnificent together, my lady of Ashlin," he said. Then he was gone.

She felt the heat in her cheeks. She felt the tears slip down her face, and brushed them impatiently away. She did not love him, and yet the knowledge of his love for her was almost too heavy a burden for her to bear. Oh, Ranulf, she thought. I need your strong arms about me reassuring me that all will be well!

"Lady."

Elf looked up to see Arwydd standing hesitantly in the doorway. She motioned to the girl to come in, then said, "I believe you are a good girl no matter the bad mistress you served so faithfully. You are a free woman, Arwydd, and so you are free to make your own decisions. I offer you a place in my household if you will come with me. It will not be easy at first. You betrayed the Ashlin folk. They will not allow you to forget it, for they have long memories, especially my Ida. But I will intercede for you with them if you truly give me your loyalty. In time they will forgive you, for they are good folk at heart."

Arwydd fell to her knees and, lifting the hem of Elf’s skirt, kissed it fervently. "Lady, oh, lady! Your kindness has saved me! Gladly will I come. I will bear whatever I must, for in truth I did grievous wrong to the Ashlin folk. I will beg their forgiveness upon my knees! I swear upon the Blessed Virgin’s name to serve you honorably and faithfully all of my days!"

Elf raised the girl up. "Then it is settled," she said calmly. "Come, for we are due in the hall. The lord of Gwynfr is about to free me, and I am eager to begin our journey home."

They descended into the hall, where the morning meal was already in progress. Seating herself at the high board, Elf ate heartily of the hard-boiled eggs, cheese, butter, and bread she was served. She quenched her thirst with a watered wine. She saw Sim at a trestle below and, smiling, nodded to him. Then Merin ap Owen stood, and spoke.

"I am an honorable man, as you can all attest. The lord of Ashlin manor has delivered the ransom I requested for the return of his wife. The fact the ransom was stolen from me is not his fault. For me to continue to hold the lady Eleanore as my captive would be a dishonorable act. I will therefore release her into the custody of her man-at-arms, Sim of Ashlin. They will leave Gwynfr in peace. And when they have gone, we will depart to seek out the vicious vixen who has stolen my gold. Go, and prepare yourselves to leave. I know not how long we will be away, for I cannot even say in which direction the bitch has gone, but we will run her to the ground, lads. And after…" He laughed darkly.

The sound sent a chill up Elf’s spine. The man she knew had disappeared once again, even as the man they all feared returned in his place. She arose and, without another word, walked down from the high board to where Sim now stood anxiously waiting for her. "Let us go home, Sim," she said, and he nodded wordlessly.

Without a backward glance they departed the hall and walked out into the courtyard, where Arwydd stood holding the horses.

"She’s going with us?" a disbelieving Sim asked.

"She is a good girl, Sim," Elf said firmly. "Besides, I will not leave her here. She will serve me loyally. You will see."

Sim thought his mistress mad, but he would not question her, for it was not his place to do so. Besides, the lord would send the deceitful witch packing as soon as he laid eyes on her. He helped the two women to mount their beasts, then climbed atop his own horse, and they were off. They rode slowly down the hill away from Gwynfr and onto the narrow track that led them toward the verge, and England.

The day was unusually beautiful, the sky above them a clear blue, the sun shining brightly, the air warm with a definite feeling of spring. It was the first time in days that Elf could remember the sun shining. She considered it a wonderful omen, although perhaps not for Isleen de Warenne, who was to be hunted down. Where had she gone? Elf wondered. But no matter. If Merin ap Owen did not catch her and kill her, she would still have to face God’s judgment for her wickedness. She put Isleen from her mind.

"Merin ap Owen thought my lord might be near, Sim. Do you think it is so?" Elf asked her man.

"Aye, lady, he is. I am surprised we have not come upon him yet," Sim answered her. "I thought surely he would be at Gwynfr’s gates by dawn, but, perhaps finding me gone off the verge yesterday, he divined my purpose and is waiting a reasonable time for my return."