Julia Quinn - How to Marry a Marquis

"Did you get to the part about the shackles yet?" Susan asked. Elizabeth ignored her and kept on reading.

IN OTHER WORDS, YOU MUST STAND OUT IN A CROWD, BUT ONLY IN HIS CROWD. FOR HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO MATTERS.

Elizabeth looked up. "There is a problem here." "There is?"

"Yes." She tapped her finger against her forehead, as was her habit whenever she was thinking hard on a subject. "All of this presupposes that I have set my sights on a single male."

Susan's eyes bugged out. "You certainly cannot set your sights on a married man!"

"I meant one particular man," Elizabeth retorted, swatting her sister on the shoulder.

"I see. Well, Mrs. Seeton does have a point. You cannot marry two."

Elizabeth pulled a face. "Of course not. But I should think I must indicate my interest in more than one if I am to secure a proposal. Didn't Mother always say we must not place all of our eggs in one basket?''

"Hmmm," Susan mused, "you have a point. I shall research the matter this evening."

“I beg your pardon?''

But Susan had already sprung to her feet and was dashing up the stairs. "I shall read the book tonight," she called out from the landing, "and I shall report to you in the morning."

"Susan!" Elizabeth used her sternest voice. "Bring that book back to me immediately."

"Have no fear! I shall have worked out our strategy by breakfast!" And the next thing Elizabeth heard was the sound of a key turning in a lock as Susan barricaded herself in the room she shared with Jane.

"Breakfast?" Elizabeth muttered. "Is she planning to skip supper, then?"

Apparently she was. No one saw hide nor hair of Susan, nor even heard the veriest peep from her room. The Hotchkiss clan numbered only three that night at the table, and poor little Jane couldn't even get into her room to go to bed and had to sleep with Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was not amused. Jane was a sweetheart, but she stole all the blankets.

When Elizabeth went down to breakfast the next morning, Susan was already at the table, little red book in hand. Elizabeth noted grimly that the kitchen showed no signs of use.

"Couldn't you have started breakfast?" she asked grumpily, searching the cupboard for eggs.

"I've been busy," Susan replied. "Very busy."

Elizabeth didn't reply. Blast. Only three eggs. She'd have to go without and hope that Lady Danbury was planning a hearty luncheon that day. She positioned an iron skillet on a tripod over the hearth fire and cracked the three eggs open.

Susan got the hint and started slicing bread for toast. "Some of these rules aren't so terribly difficult," she said as she worked. "I think even you could follow them."

"I am overwhelmed by your confidence in me," Elizabeth said dryly.

"In fact, you should begin practicing now. Isn't Lady Danbury going to host a party later in the summer? There will surely be prospective husbands in attendance."

"/ won't be in attendance."

"Lady Danbury doesn't plan to invite you?" Susan burst out, clearly outraged. “Well, I never! You may be her companion, but you are also the daughter of a baronet, and thus-"

"Of course she will invite me," Elizabeth replied evenly. "But I shall refuse."

"But why?"

Elizabeth didn't answer for a moment, just stood there watching the egg whites turn opaque. "Susan," she finally said, "look at me."

Susan looked at her. "And?"

Elizabeth grabbed a handful of the faded green fabric of her dress and shook. "How can I go to a fancy house party dressed as I am? I may be desperate, but I have my pride."

“We shall cross the bridge of your clothing when we get to it," Susan decided firmly. "It shouldn't matter, anyway. Not if your future mate cannot see the room beyond your face."

"If I hear that phrase one more time-"

"In the meantime," Susan interrupted, "we must sharpen your skills."

Elizabeth fought the urge to smash the yolks.

"Didn't you say there was a new overseer at Lady Danbury's?"

"I said no such thing!"

"You didn't? Oh. Well, then, it must have been Fanny Brinkley, who must have heard it from her maid, who must have heard from-"

"Get to the point, Susan," Elizabeth ground out.

"Why don't you practice on him? Unless he's horribly repulsive, of course."

"He's not repulsive," Elizabeth mumbled. Her cheeks started to burn, and she kept her face down so that Susan wouldn't see her blush. Lady Danbury's new estate manager was far from repulsive. In fact, he was just about the most handsome man she'd ever seen. And his smile had done the strangest things to her insides.

Too bad he didn't have buckets of money.

"Good!" Susan said with an excited clap of her hands. "All you have to do is make him fall in love with you."

Elizabeth flipped the eggs. "And then what? Susan, he's an estate manager. He isn't going to have enough money to send Lucas to Eton."

"Silly, you aren't going to marry him. Just practice upon him."

"This sounds rather coldhearted," Elizabeth said, frowning.

"Well, you haven't anyone else upon whom to test your skills. Now, listen carefully. I picked out several rules with which to start."

"Rules? I thought they were edicts."

"Edicts, rules, it all amounts to the same thing. Now, then-"

"Jane! Lucas!" Elizabeth called out. "Breakfast is ready."

"As I was saying, I think we should begin with edicts two, three, and five."

"What about four?"

Susan had the grace to blush. ' That one, ah, concerns dressing in the first stare of fashion."

Elizabeth just barely resisted the urge to fling a fried egg at her.

"Actually"-Susan frowned-"you might want to begin all the way at number eight."

Elizabeth knew she shouldn't have said a word, but some devil inside forced her to ask, "And what is that?"

Susan read: " 'Your charm must appear effortless.' "

"My charm must appear effortless? What the devil does that me-Ow!"

"I think," Susan said in an annoyingly bland voice, "it might mean that you're not meant to wave your arms about so that your hand smacks the tabletop."

If looks could have killed, Susan would have been bleeding profusely from the forehead.

Susan stuck her nose in the air. “I can only speak the truth," she sniffed.

Elizabeth continued glaring as she sucked on the back of her hand, as if pressing her lips to the spot were actually going to make it stop hurting. "Jane! Lucas!" she called again, this time practically yelling. "Hurry, now! Breakfast will get cold!"

Jane came skipping into the kitchen and sat down. The Hotchkiss family had long ago dispensed with serving a formal morning meal in the dining room. Breakfast was always served in the kitchen. Besides, in the winter, everyone liked to sit near the stove. And in summer- well, habits were hard to break, Elizabeth supposed.

Elizabeth smiled at her youngest sister. "You look a touch untidy this morning, Jane."

"That's because somebody locked me out of my room last night," Jane said with a mutinous glare toward Susan. "I haven't even had a chance to brush my hair."

"You could have used Lizzie's brush," Susan replied.

"I like my brush," Jane shot back. "It's silver."

Not real silver, Elizabeth thought wryly, or she would have had to sell it off already.

"It still works just the same," Susan returned.

Elizabeth put a halt to the bickering by yelling, "Lucas!"

“Have we any milk?'' Jane asked.

"I'm afraid not, dear," Elizabeth replied, sliding an egg onto a plate. "Just enough for tea."

Susan slapped a piece of bread on Jane's plate and said to Elizabeth, "About Edict Number Two…"

“Not now,'' Elizabeth hissed, with a pointed look toward Jane, who, thankfully, was too busy poking her finger into the bread to take notice of her older sisters.