Виктория Холт - Victoria Victorious - The Story of Queen Victoria

“What changes have there been while I have been away?” Feodore wanted to know.

What changes could there be? Life went on in the same way at Kensington.

In spite of having been separated from Augustus, I believed Feodore enjoyed her stay in Germany for Mama was almost as strict with her as she was with me, and she too felt that she was in a prison. So I supposed the comparative freedom she would get with marriage was agreeable to her although her husband would not be Augustus but the Count of Hohenlohe-Langenburg.

“What was he like?” I asked when we were together with Lehzen sitting in the room sewing. We were never really alone.

“He is very kind.”

“And handsome?”

“Yes, he is handsome.”

“And do you love him?”

“I must love him for he is to be my husband.”

Feodore was talking like Mama or Lehzen. I realized with a little pang that she had changed. She had crossed the line and become a grown-up person and they invariably said not what they meant but what they thought it was right to say.

I was a little saddened and asked no more questions about the Count.

Feodore was to be married at Kensington Palace. It was a great occasion. I had a lovely white dress and Lehzen spent a lot of time curling my hair. The wedding was to take place in the Cupola Room where, Lehzen reminded me, I had been christened.

“Yes,” I said, “and where there was a storm because the King wouldn't have me named Georgiana. Do you know, I think he wouldn't mind my being called after him now. He was so kind to me when we met.”

“And so you became Victoria. Well, that is quite a nice name.”

“I intend it to be a very good name,” I said. “I really don't think Georgiana would have suited me. But perhaps that is because I have got used to Victoria now. After all, I used to be Drina. I am glad that changed.”

Lehzen shook her head and adjusted one of my curls.

“Well, you look very nice.”

“The King is going to give Feodore away,” I said. I giggled. “I do believe he would prefer to keep her for himself.”

“You must not say such things.”

“Well, when we were at Windsor he did seem to like her.”

“I think he liked you too.”

“Oh yes, but Feodore more, and in a different way.”

“Those bright eyes see more than is there sometimes.”

“Dear Lehzen, how could they see what is not there?”

“Come along, my little wiseacre. Let us go and see how the bride is getting on.”

Feodore looked beautiful—not a bit afraid, as I feared she might. She looked more remote, it was true—not quite young any more, secretive perhaps, learning to hide her feelings. I wondered if I should ever be like that. I thought not.

She was wearing a beautiful diamond necklace, I noticed immediately.

“It is a present from the King,” she told me.

“Oh, I knew he liked you! It's lovely. Feodore, I believe he would have liked to marry you.”

“Nonsense! He is an old man.”

“Old men like pretty young women sometimes.”

“How observant you are!”

“Lehzen says I see things which are not there. How could anyone?”

“Ordinary rules don't apply to Victoria.”

That made me laugh.

“Don't say that about the King to anyone,” she advised.

“Why not? I think it is true.”

“Dear little sister, you talk too frankly, you know.”

“You sound just like Mama.”

“Oh no… please not.”

Then we laughed again and it was like the old days again.

We went to the Cupola Room. Through the windows as we passed along I saw the crowds outside the Palace.

“They love a royal wedding,” said Lehzen.

The bells were ringing and everyone seemed very happy. The only regret was that Augustus was not the bridegroom. Well, I thought, one cannot expect everything—although of course the bridegroom was rather an important part of the ceremony.

I looked around for the King as I entered the Cupola Room. He was not there, but Uncle Clarence was. Mama hated Uncle Clarence just as much as she hated the King. I quite liked him. He was so jolly and I think he would have liked to be friendly with us, but Mama would not have it, of course. He always smiled very kindly at me and I was really fond of Aunt Adelaide. She kissed me and asked after the dolls and talked about them just as though they were real people, which made me like her even more. I told her the Big Doll fit in very well. She was bigger than the others and her clothes were just as splendid, although they were merely a court lady's dress. “I think she looks quite as grand as Queen Elizabeth,” I said.

“Oh dear,” said Aunt Adelaide. “Queen Elizabeth will not like that!” which made me laugh. Aunt Adelaide joined in and Mama noticing, frowned. I was not supposed to be on terms of levity with Aunt Adelaide.

I realized then that there was a growing uneasiness in the room. Where was the King? He was supposed to be present to take an important part in the ceremony and they could not proceed without him.

Uncle Clarence said in a loud voice, “The King is clearly not coming. No need to delay further. I'll take his role.”

My mother would have protested but I knew she was undecided whether to wait a little longer for the King and allow herself to be further humiliated, or to ask Uncle Clarence to carry on. It must have been galling to see her daughter given away by a duke when she had been expecting a king to do so.

But it did seem as though the King would not come, so Clarence went on to take his part, and I stepped into my place as bridesmaid.

And so my sister Feodore became the wife of Count HohenloheLangenburg.

Mama had had the idea that I should go among the guests with a basket that contained little gifts for them, and everyone applauded when I presented them.

Then the bride and groom went to Claremont and we went back to our apartments in the Palace. How Mama raged against the King and all her husband's family. They were crude, ill-mannered; they were against a lonely widow. They did all they could to humiliate her and they hated to see her daughter marrying the Count; and they were jealous of her younger daughter who was in such good health.

The King would soon be dead and that pineapple-headed oaf would take his place. He was incapable of getting an heir…he was incapable of anything except stepping into the grave.

She was really angry and I heard her in the room where I sat with Lehzen and Spath. Spath was wide-eyed and seemed rather excited by it, but Lehzen was terrified that I should hear something that was not for my ears.

I heard Sir John Conroy's hated voice, calming her, soothing her, as he often did.

Spath was nodding as though she had secret thoughts, and Lehzen had that tight look about her mouth as she always did when Sir John was near. I was gratified that Lehzen felt the same about Sir John as I did.

A GREAT DEAL was going on of which I knew nothing and only learned later, and piecing little bits of evidence together found out what it was all about.

Uncle Cumberland was suspect. People saw him as the ogre. He really wanted the throne for his son George—such a nice boy whom I had met once or twice—and he did actually want me out of the way. Because my father had been older than he was, I came before George Cumberland, and that irritated his parents. They had such evil reputations that I am not sure now whether the rumors were circulated because of that, or whether they really were menacing my life.

When I was very young they had put it about that I was a weak child and not expected to live, and Mama had to take me for walks very publicly so that all the people were able to see for themselves how strong I was. Indeed I was quite plump and brimming over with good health. I still went for these walks with Mama or Lehzen—usually as far as Apsley House, and the people often stopped and cheered me.