Виктория Холт - Lord of the Far Island

Then I tried to piece together what I had read and ask myself why Slack, who must have known something of her story, had given them to me.

Was it some sort of warning? He was a strange boy. Sometimes I thought he was merely simple as most people believed him to be; at others I thought he was unusually perceptive.

Silva had disappeared on the night of the storm. Was he drawing some comparison between us? Silva went out in a boat presumably and the boat came back without her. One day perhaps another boat would be washed up. On its side would be painted the name Ellen.

She had gone to the mainland and he whose name she did not mention had been kind to her. He loved her. she had written. He had told her so. She was not the kind to imagine that someone loved her. In fact, I think it would be rather difficult for a man to convince her that he did. They had met; they had gone to the Corn Dolly together and he must have told her he loved her then. And yet she had gone out in a boat to face almost certain death.

Why?

In desperation? Had she, the child who had never felt wanted and suddenly found someone whom she believed loved her at last, discovered that she had been deceived. Had the discovery been beyond endurance? Or had someone lured her in some way to go out and risk her life?

A vision of Jenifry's face when she had seen me saying goodbye to Michael Hydrock after he had brought me home to the Island, rose before me.

Gwennol was in love with him; Jenifry wanted the most eligible bachelor in the neighborhood for her daughter. How strange that Silva's boat should have come back without her and that I should be caught in a leaking boat and fancy I saw dissolving sugar there.

I was beginning to feel very uneasy.

Jago rowed me over to Sanctuary Island.

"You haven't been on the sea since the accident," he said. "I've noticed that."

"I still remember it vividly. There were some moments of sheer terror when I thought it was the end of me."

"My poor Ellen! But you don't feel afraid with me."

"I've no doubt," I told him, "that if we overturned you'd bring me safely in."

"I only hope, Ellen," he said very seriously, "that whenever you need me I shall be at hand."

We came to the island and he helped me out of the boat. "Do you remember when we came here before?" he asked.

"Yes, it was then that we met the artist from Blue Rock."

"So we did."

"I'veseen some of his pictures since in shop windows on the mainland. I thought them rather fine. Do you like them?"

"Why yes. He's quite a good artist, I believe. Ellen, tell me, are you really settling into the life of the Island? Am I right in thinking you are getting rather fond of it?"

"I am very interested, particularly now that I'm getting to know the people. They talk to me and I find that appealing. I suppose it's because it makes me feel I belong."

"You do belong."

"Yes, I suppose so, but I've only just come here and having never known my father ..." I frowned. "He doesn't seem to have been a very popular person."

"You're thinking of your mother's leaving him as she did. As a matter of fact, I knew as soon as I saw her that she would never fit into our way of life. She wanted more gaiety and a more lively existence."

"She didn't get much of that with my grandmother. My father didn't seem to care much for his children and that seems unnatural."

"He was a very sick man."

"I know he had a stroke, but before he was sick he didn't seem very fond of them."

"He was sick for a long time. He was never the same after your mother went, taking you with her."

"He still had my half sister."

"Silva was an odd girl and he never liked her."

"Why not?"

I didn't want to tell him that I had seen the notebooks. That was a secret between Slack and myself, and not knowing that, he could not understand why I had such a clear picture of my father.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Silva was a difficult child. None of the governesses stayed. She was morose and liked to be left alone. She would go off for a whole day and no one would know where she was. But what's the good of going back over all that? It's the future I want to talk about."

"Your future?"

"And yours. In fact I hope they will be intermingled."

I looked startled and he moved nearer to me.

"Everything has been different since you came here. Even the Island has taken on a new meaning for me. I've always loved it, always been devoted to furthering its interests and making it prosperous, but now everything seems so much more important."

My heart started to beat very fast. I had seen the implication in his manner towards me but I had not thought he would express his feelings so soon.

"You can't mean," I began, knowing very well that he did.

He put his arm about me and drew me to him. Then he took my chin in his hand and looked intently into my face.

"Ellen, I can't believe you're indifferent to me."

"Nobody could be indifferent to you, Jago. I'm sure of that."

"You mean they must either hate or love me. Which do you, Ellen?"

"Of course I don't hate you."

"Then you must love me."

"It was you who said that people must either love or hate. There can be a halfway feeling."

"I have no patience with halfway feelings."

"That is not to say they don't exist."

"I love you, Ellen. I want you to marry me, and I don't want any delay. I want to go straight back to the church and put up the banns. I think it has to be three weeks before a wedding. Come, we'll go right away."

He had sprung to his feet but I remained seated.

"You go too fast, Jago," I said. "Remember, it is only a short while ago that I was engaged to be married. I can't make a decision just like that. Besides, I'm not at all sure that marriage would be a good thing."

He stared at me in amazement. "Not a good thing! Between us! My dear Ellen, you can't mean that!"

"I do mean it. Everything has happened too soon for me. This time last year I had not thought of marrying anyone. Then I became engaged and my fiance was shot. And now you are suggesting that I marry you in three weeks' time."

"What has this calculation of a year and weeks to do with it? I love you. You love me. Why should we wait?"

"Because I'm unsure."

"You unsure! You know where you're going, Ellen. You're not some silly simpering female to be pushed in any direction the wind blows her."

"That's exactly so. I wasn't in love with Philip."

"Of course you weren't. You know that now because you realize what it means to love."

"Please listen to me, Jago. I will not be hurried into anything. I'm fascinated by the Island. I'm becoming more and more interested, but I have not thought of marriage and I don't want to hurry into anything. You must understand that."

He knelt on the traveling rug.

"You disappoint me, Ellen," he said.

"I'm sorry, but I must tell you what I feel."

"What do you feel for me?"

"I enjoy being in your company. I like to learn about the Island. In fact I find things here intriguing."

"Including me?"

"Yes, Jago, including you."

"But you don't love me enough to marry me?"

"I don't know you enough."

"You don't know me! After all this time!"

"It isn't very long."

"But I thought you knew all you wanted to know about me."

"I don't think one ever knows all one wants to about another person."

"Now you're being profound. I know enough for both of us. I know I love you. I know that nobody ever meant to me what you do, and I know that I wasn't really living until you came. Isn't that enough, and don't you see that our marriage would be the best thing that could happen to either of us?"

"Why?" I asked.

He looked at me incredulously. "You and I together for the rest of our lives on the Island. Together we'd make it into a paradise."