Виктория Холт - Lord of the Far Island

"We'll put a stop to that. We're not having you governessing to that woman. She's poisonous."

I turned to him abruptly and my fear of the future suddenly enveloped me in earnest.

He took me by the shoulders and, laughing, held me against him. "Ellen, you idiot, do you think I'd ever let you go?"

"What authority would you have to stop me?"

"The best of all authority. Of course you're not going to be governess to that woman's children! I happen to know they're terrors. I always meant it would be us two, Ellen. You and I are going to get married. That's the answer. I always meant we should."

"You... marry me! But you're going to marry Esmeralda. It's all arranged. That's what this dance is for."

"What nonsense!"

"That's where you're wrong. This dance is for Esmeralda, and I have it on good authority that during it or after it, they are hoping to announce your engagement to her."

"They say hope springs eternal in the human breast. But 'they,' by whom I presume you mean the Lorings, are going to find they have made a mistake. Engagement yes, but to Ellen not Esmeralda."

"You mean you'd announce your engagement to me tonight?"

"Of course. I always had a sense of the dramatic. You know that."

"What will your parents say?"

"They'll be delighted."

"To accept me! You're joking."

"I am not" He looked very serious. "My father likes you. He said you were amusing and he likes to be amused."

"And Lady Emily?"

"She'll like you too. She wants me to be happy above all else."

Perhaps, but they can't possibly want me as your wife."

"That's where you're wrong. I've hinted to them and they're full of approval. They think I ought to get married soon."

I just did not believe it. I was quite bewildered. Philip had always liked to joke. Of course Philip and I had always been the best of friends, to the exclusion of Esmeralda; he had always expressed disappointment when I did not appear at the social gatherings Cousin Agatha arranged. I should have known; I wasn't in love with him. I couldn't be, because I had imagined his marriage to Esmeralda without any great sorrow. The fact was that Cousin Agatha had so impressed on me my inferior status and the glory of the Carringtons that I could never imagine myself marrying into that family—even to Philip. Now it excited me, not, alas, so much because of Philip—whom I liked very much of course—but because marriage with him would mean that I did not have to take up the post of governess with the odious Mrs. Oman Lemming and her brood, who, I was sure, were as unpleasant as she was. Chiefly perhaps I was savoring the triumph of being the chosen one. The sight of Cousin Agatha's face if our engagement were announced would compensate me for years of humiliation, and I would have been inhuman not to relish the thought. As for Esmeralda, for whom I had an affection, she would not be in the least displeased. She had never wanted a Carrington marriage and she had insisted that Philip despised her ever since he had pushed her into the Serpentine.

"Well," said Philip. "You seem at a loss for words. It's the first time I've ever known you so."

"It's the first time I have ever had a proposal of marriage."

"We'll have fun together, Ellen."

I looked at him and believed we would.

"I hadn't thought of you as a husband," I said.

"Why ever not? I thought it was obvious."

"You never mentioned it."

"Well, I'm mentioning it now." He took my hands in his and kissed me. "Well," he said. "What now?"

"Give me time," I said. "I have to get used to the idea."

"You're not getting coy, are you? That's not like you."

"Look at it from my point of view. I came here expecting an announcement of Esmeralda's engagement."

"To me!"

"Of course to you. Cousin Agatha had set her heart on a Carrington son-in-law. And what she sets her heart on she usually gets."

"She'll have to put up with one as cousin-in-law."

"Second... several times removed."

"Well, who cares about her anyway?"

"I'm liking you more every minute."

He put his arm about me. "It's going to be fun, Ellen. There's going to be no more of this poor-relation stuff. When I heard about that governessing project I knew I had to take action. The family want me to marry. They've been on about it for some time. I think what they want is grandchildren and it doesn't seem as if Rollo is going to have any sons or even daughters."

"Why not?"

"Oh... it's a bit complicated. His wife's a bit... strange. I'll tell you sometime. But it means the family is very anxious for me to marry."

"You'll be a young husband."

"You'll be an even younger wife."

I was getting used to the idea and liking it more. I had to start thinking of my old friend Philip as a husband. It was not difficult. I was beginning to enjoy myself.

Philip was telling me how he had always loved me although when we were children he hadn't thought of it as love. He had merely enjoyed being with me. When he came to the country the first thing he thought of was whether I would be there. "They were good times we had together, Ellen," he said.

He went on to talk of what our life would be. We would travel a great deal. It would be necessary for his business. Rollo did most of it, but he was going to help him. It would be great fun, he told me. We would go out to India and Hong Kong and stay there for a while. He was learning about his father's business and I could help him in this because when we were in London we should have to entertain a good deal.

He was opening out a glittering vista to me. We would have an establishment of our own in London not far from the parental home. He would see that I was introduced to the most exclusive dressmaker. "You'll be stunning in the right clothes, Ellen," he told me. "You're a beauty, you know, only it's never shown to advantage."

"Cousin Agatha insists on hiding my light under a bushel," I said. "I'm the sort to let it shine forth."

"So it should do. My God, Ellen, it's going to be wonderful."

"Yes," I said. "I do believe it is."

Then he held me against him and we laughed together.

"Who'd have thought it?" I murmured. "After the way you used to bully me!"

"It was latent love," he told me.

"Was it really?"

"You know it was. I must have decided years ago that I was going to marry you."

"One of those secret decisions... secret even to yourself," I said. "You were terribly critical of me."

"That was a symbol of my feelings."

"What would your praise be?"

"Wait and see."

I was happy. It was the old bantering relationship and the prospects he was offering me were brilliant.

"You know I shall bring no dowry."

"I'll take you without."

"You'd get a good one, you know, with Esmeralda."

"I'm not tempted. It has to be Ellen or no one."

I put my arms about his neck and kissed him heartily; it had to be at that moment that Cousin Agatha appeared.

"Ellen!" Her voice was shrill with mingled disbelief and righteous anger.

I broke away from Philip and stood up uneasily.

"What are you doing here? This is disgraceful. I shall talk to you later. In the meantime guests are being neglected."

"Not all of them," said Philip cheekily. He had always liked to disconcert Cousin Agatha and he invariably did, because she wanted to be indignant with him but how could she be so with a Carrington?

I said: "I'll go and see what I can do."

I wanted to get away because I still could not believe that Philip was really serious. He tried to take my hand, but I was away too quickly. I wondered what he said to Cousin Agatha. Later he told me that she made a remark about the weather, which of course she would consider the very height of good taste and subtle diplomacy in changing the subject.