Виктория Холт - The Shadow of the Lynx

“You trust me. Now you’re to stay in bed for the rest of the day, then you won’t have to face anybody. I’ll go along to Dr. Hunter and tell him to come and have a look at you, shall I?”

“Dr. Hunter can’t help over this.”

“Yes, he can. He can give you something to make you sleep and that’s what you need really. I’ll tell everyone you’re resting today. You haven’t been yourself since that fall in the tower.”

I shivered. I couldn’t tell even Lucie of the horrible suspicion that had come to me. But merely talking to Lucie had made me feel better.

She went out and left me, and I lay still, trying to believe what she had told me and failing wretchedly.

I stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Lucie brought supper for me on a tray, but I couldn’t touch the roast chicken nor the cheese and fruit. She had been to Dr. Hunter’s, but he was out on a case and that stupid Mrs. Devlin had seemed as though she had been drinking. However, she had left a message for him to come and see me in the-morning. I could have one of the pills he had given me at the time of my fall.

Lucie would have some milk sent up for me to take with it.

“Won’t you try and eat something?” she asked.

“I couldn’t, Lucie.”

About nine o’clock she sent Lizzie up with some hot milk and biscuits.

Lizzie looked subdued and this clearly had something to do with her outburst earlier that day. I couldn’t feel the same about Lizzie any more. Her action had had such a tremendous impact on all our lives. I looked distastefully at the milk and turned away, so Lizzie put it on my bedside table.

I closed my eyes and I must have dozed, for when I awoke my heart started to pound furiously for someone was standing by my bed. It was Stirling. I couldn’t face him then so I pretended to be still asleep.

He stood there looking at me and I wondered what was in his mind. Was he thinking of putting a pillow over my face and smothering me? I didn’t care if he did. Who would have believed it was possible to love a man whom one suspected of murdering one. Nora loved and hated him at the same time and I loved him while I suspected him of wanting to kill me. How complex were human emotions!

He went out after a while. I lay still and the same thoughts went round and round in my mind and suddenly I was startled by a movement near the window. I sat up in bed and doing so knocked over the tray.

The kitten followed by Bella came running over from the window. I realized that it was their playing with the blind cord that had awakened me. The kitten discovered the milk and started to lap noisily, so I put the tray on the floor and they finished it between them. Bella jumped on to the bed, purring, and I stroked her. After a while she jumped down and I tried to sleep. I couldn’t, of course. I just lay there going over everything and finally I was so exhausted that I did sleep.

Lizzie came in. It was eight-thirty. I was usually up by this time.

“Her ladyship sent me to ask how you were this morning.”

“I’m tired,” I said.

“Just leave me. Don’t pull up the blind.”

“So you’re staying in bed for a while?”

I said I was. She went out and a little later Lude came in.

“Just to see how you feel,” she said.

I was half asleep, so she went on: “I won’t disturb you. A little rest will do you good.”

It was about half past ten when there was a light tap on my door. It was Mary, one of the housemaids. She said:

“Mrs. Herrick’s called. She wants to see you.”

Nora! My heart was leaping about uncomfortably. I wanted to see Nora, to talk to her. I was turning over in my mind whether I might tell her what I had heard. I had always felt an urge to confide in Nora. But how could I in this case?

I heard myself say uncertainly: “Ask her to come up.”

“Shall I draw the blinds. Miss Minta.”

I hesitated.

“N … no. Not just yet.” I wanted to know whether I could face Nora first. My hair was unkempt; I should have washed, tidied myself before seeing her. But it was too late now. The maid was gone and when she came back Nora was with her.

Nora was wearing a grey riding habit and she looked elegant and worldly. There was a gentleness in her face. I knew that she was sorry because I was married to Stirling—not only because that meant he wasn’t free for her. She was sorry because she thought I was going to be unhappy.

“Oh, you are resting,” she said.

“I heard that you weren’t feeling well.”

“I didn’t feel very well yesterday and since the fall Dr. Hunter likes me to rest a lot.”

“I’m sure he’s right.” A faint light came through the slats of the blind and she drew a chair up to the bed.

“I thought I must come and see you,” she went on.

“I shan’t have much more opportunity.”

“You are determined to leave us, then?”

“I’ve definitely made up my mind.”

“I shall miss you. As for Stirling …” My voice trembled.

She said quickly: “I always thought I should go back some time.”

“You must have been very happy there She drew her brows together and said: ” Yes. I daresay you are longing for the child to be born. “

Yes, I am. “

“And Stirling, too.”

Children playing on the lawns of Whiteladies! I thought.

The waiting period can be irksome,” I said.

“Franklyn will miss you.”

“In a -year or so you will have forgotten me … all of you.”

I shook my head. I had a great desire to see her face more clearly.

She hid her feelings well but I thought: She must be as unhappy as I am. I said: “It’s dark in here.”

“Shall I pull up the blinds?” She rose and went over to the window. I heard her give a little gasp. She was staring at the floor. Then hastily she pulled up the blind and looked down again.

“What is it?” I cried, starting up.

“Bella and the kitten …”

I leaped out of bed. I caught my breath in horror. Their bodies looked oddly contorted. They were both dead. I knelt down beside them. I could not bring myself to touch those once lively little bodies which I had loved.

“They’re dead,” said Nora.

“Minta, what can it be?”

I knew. I remembered the milk dripping on to the floor and Stirling standing by my bed.

“There was poison in my milk,” I said quite calmly.

“Of course it was meant for me.” Then I began to laugh and I couldn’t stop myself.

“I’ve a charmed life. First Maud … then you, and now the cats.”

She took me by the shoulders and shook me.

“What do you mean?” she demanded.

“What do you mean? Control yourself, for God’s sake. Don’t touch the cats. You don’t know what’s wrong. Let me help you back to bed. Remember the child.”

She drew me back to the bed. I was saying: “It’s all very simple, Nora. Someone is trying to kill me. There have been other attempts.

But I have a charmed life . “

She was very pale.

“I don’t believe it,” she said.

“I don’t believe it.” And said it as though she were trying to convince herself. And I knew what was in her mind. She had heard him say it. He had said to her: “I’ll find a way.” I heard her whispering to herself.

“No … no It’s not true.”

“Nora,” I said, ‘it can’t always miss, can it . not every time? “

“You’ve got to get away from … from here. We have to think about it. I can’t leave you here. You must come bade with me to Mercer’s. We can talk there … we can plan …”

I thought: Go with her She is the reason why he wants to be rid of me.

He wants Nora and Whiteladies. How can I go with her? But she had saved me once before.