Виктория Холт - The Pride of the Peacock

” Say that again. “

He did, and I cried: “Why didn’t you tell me before? Didn’t you know it was what I wanted to hear more than anything else?”

“What a deceiver you are! You made me feel you were trying to get away from me all the time. Now you’re getting excited. You mustn’t.

You came very close to death in that old mine. It has its effect.

Perhaps you’ll wake up tomorrow morning and find you still hate me.”

“Don’t talk of hate… talk of love,” I begged.

“I will … endlessly … when you’ve rested. Don’t forget I’m in command.

You’ve had a great shock and you need to stay here quietly. “

“Will you stay with me?”

“I will, but you must lie still and rest. Just lie there thinking of two foolish people who have said goodbye to their folly and are now going to wake up and live.”

I felt lightheaded as I had in the underground passages of the mine; but with a difference. This was not the delirium of fear but of joy.

I must have slept a long time for it was mid-morning when I awoke. Joss was sitting by my bed watching me.

“You’re better now,” he told me.

“You’ve had a good night’s sleep.

You’ve cast off the effects of the poison, but you’ll have to go quietly for a day or two. “

There’s so much we have to say. “

“We’ve a long time to say it.”

“Just tell me one thing: Is it really true that you care about me?”

“It’s the truest thing that ever happened.”

“Yet you were planning to go to England with Isa Bannock. When I go to England you’re coming with me.”

“Why did you pretend… ?”

“Because I wanted to goad you. I wanted you to show some feeling for me.”

“You seemed so involved with her.”

“I’ve only been involved with one woman since I married. The rest was pretence to try to break through her indifference.”

"You gave her a magnificent opal. “

“Why did you think I did that ?”

“Because she wanted it and you were so besotted by her and wanted to please her at all cost. You liked to show her what an important man you were. She only had to express a wish for you to grant it.”

Wrong again. I gave it to her because I knew you’d hate it. I thought it might show you how foolishly you were acting and arouse some feeling in you. I thought it might be a first step towards sanity. “

“Rather an expensive step.”

“Anything that brought about that state couldn’t have been too expensive.” Then he turned to me and kissed me fiercely. That’s what I mean by sanity. “

"You have changed . changed overnight. Because I go down into a mine.”

“Because I came near to losing you I made up my mind I was going to keep you and make you understand.”

"Why didn’t we talk before? “

“We did nothing else but talk. In fact I think we got rather had fascinated by all those verbal fireworks. Time and time again son I was on the point of pushing all that aside and being the out primitive male.”

“Which I believe you are.”

“You’ll discover,” he replied.

“But just now you have to I s: recover from a rather shattering experience. You think you have already, but the shock was great. I want you to stay quietly in the house for the rest of the day.”

“Where are you going ?”

To find Jeremy Dickson. He’s concerned in this and I want to know the meaning of that letter. ” Lilias said it wasn’t quite his handwriting.”

“Lilias is trying to defend him. He’s somewhere in the cc neighbourhood and I’m sending people out to look for him. I was waiting for you to wake up so that I could tell you this and where I was going.”

“I cannot believe this of Jeremy Dickson.”

“One can never believe these things of the people who do n: them.

That’s why they get away with them . up to a point. “

“You really believe he sent that letter, don’t you? Why should he want me dead ? It doesn’t make sense.”

That’s what we have to find out. I’ve sent off parties in all directions. I’m going off now and taking Jimson with me. “

“Do you think he had anything to do with the purse?”

“What purse? ”

"Ezra’s. I found it in the orchard . buried there. “

You couldn’t have. “

“I did, and later someone took it from my room.”

He was puzzled. I had an idea that he thought the poisonous gases had made me a little lightheaded.

He said: “We’ll talk about all that later. I just wanted to make sure you were all right before I went.” His eyes blazed for a moment.

“I can’t forget,” he went on, ‘that you might have died in that mine .. believing that I wanted to kill you.”

“It’s over now,” I answered.

“What I’m remembering now is that you risked your life to save me.”

He grinned, his old self again.

“I just had to,” he said.

“It was pure selfishness, for what good would mine have been to me without you?”

I felt then (hat I had reached the summit of happiness.

Joss became brisk.

“You’re to have a restful day. I’m going lo leave you in the care of Mrs. Laud

Then he took me into his arms and held me as though he would never let me go, and I was content to remain there.

He said: “If Ben were looking down … or up from wherever he is … he’d be pleased with himself. I reckon he’s laughing in the way we remember so well and saying:

“I told you so” “

Then he kissed me again and again.

Till sundown. “

I rose in a leisurely way, washed and dressed. I was still feeling a little dazed. Mrs. Laud came to my room to see how I was.

“Not at all bad,” I answered.

“Just a little tired.”

“It’s to be expected after what happened. What would you like to eat?”

“I’ll wait for luncheon.”

“Come to my room and I’ll make a cup of tea.”

That would be nice,” I said.

“Come up when you’re ready. I’ll go and put the kettle on.

Within five minutes I was knocking at her door.

“Do come in. You look so much better. The tea’s all ready. I’ve poured out.”

“What a cosy room this is,” I said.

“I always thought so. Mr. Henniker used to like to come in for a cup of tea.”

I sat down in the chair she had pulled up to the table with the plush runner. Her workbox was open, and a piece of needlework lay on the table.

“Oh, Mrs. Madden, what bad luck you’ve had lately. First you nearly fall down the stairs and then you get into that mine. It looks like bad luck, doesn’t it? People will be saying you must have taken the Green Flash and this is the result of it.”

I sipped the tea, which was refreshingly warming.

“People will say anything.”

That’s a fact, they will. But it was bad luck, wasn’t it? first one and then the other. I’d like to know what that.

“It’s very good, thank you.”

“Drink it up and I’ll give you another cup. I always say there’s nothing like a nice cup of tea.”

There’s a good deal in that. “

They’re regular tea drinkers out here . every bit as much as We are at Home. Let me give you that other cup. “

Thank you, Mrs. Laud. “

“Do you feel rather sleepy?”

“I feel a little… strange.”

“I thought you did somehow. The house is quiet now, isn’t it? Do you know, we’re the only ones here. Everybody’s out. They’ve all gone on this wild goose chase. All except two of the girls and I said they could ride into the town and get some goods for me. They’re both friendly with gougers there.” She chuckled.

“I reckon they won’t hurry back.”